There is not even a scrabble word for how bad I feel.

There are parallel universes in which different events have happened to the same people. An alternate choice has been made, or an accident has turned out differently. Everyone has duplicates of themselves in these other worlds. Different selves with different lives, different luck.
Variations.

The island is ours. Here, in some way, we are young forever.

You hate cake doughnuts."
"Of course," says Mirren. "But we didn't get the cake, we got glazed twists."
"And Boston cream," says Gat.
"And Jelly," says Johnny.
But I know Downyflake only makes cake doughnuts. No glazed. No Bodton cream. No jelly.

Why are they lying?

He was contemplation and enthusiasm. Ambition and strong coffee.

Johnny, he is bounce, effort, and snark.
Mirren, she is sugar, curiosity, and rain.
Gat, he was contemplation and enthusiasm. Ambition and strong coffee. I could have looked at him forever.