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There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices.


Tim Heidecker

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ANURAG SHOURIE Honor isn't about making the right choices. It's about dealing with the consequences.
MIDORI KOTO Honor isn't about making the right choices. It's about dealing with the consequences.
BILL COSBY Honor isn't about making the right choices. It's about dealing with the consequences.
SOPHOCLES Intelligence has nothing to do with education and everything to do with making the right choices.
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.
JANE HEARD A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.
ALEXANDER HAMILTON I've never met a well-adjusted person. It's weird.
JOSS WHEDON Life is all about making the right choices when time comes and i have made the right choice this tim...
MISS ANONYMOUS This retention wasn't about making a 'politically correct' or 'politically acceptable' choice. It wa...
BILL DALY There is nothing special about Tim Scott. I'm an ordinary guy serving an extraordinary God and t...
TIM SCOTT There is nothing to write about, you say. Well then, write and let me know just this - that there is...
PLINY THE YOUNGER We can try to avoid making choices by doing nothing, but even that is a decision.
GARY COLLINS Ultimately, I believe the only secret to a happy marriage is choosing the right person. Life is a se...
MICHELLE PFEIFFER I like to make jokes; I consider myself a funny person. I just think making jokes about people who a...
MARIA SHRIVER It's not about making the right choice.
It's about making a choice and making it right.
J.R. RIM It's not about making the right choice. It's about making a choice and making it right.
J.R. RIM When Tim makes that first call, there is no subject. There is no project. There is nothing. It's jus...
JOHNNY DEPP Life is all about making choices. Always do your best to make the right ones and always do your best...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA There is nothing like making love to somebody you give a shit about.
JIM CARREY a constitutional right . . . and once homosexuality is defined as a constitutional right, there is n...
ROBERT H. BORK The choices that you make in life will determine the person that you become. Life is all about choic...
BENJAMIN A. MCKINNEY If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not f...
CALVIN TRILLIN Tim and the Spurs are going to the Virgin Islands. Tim said he had nothing to do with it. Yeah right...
ANTONIO DANIELS There's a rule of writing: if everything is funny, nothing is funny; if everything is sad, nothi...
J. MICHAEL STRACZYNSKI How we use these surpluses in this moment of prosperity will determine America's future for decades ...
CHELSEA CLINTON Strategy is about making choices, trade-offs; it's about deliberately choosing to be different.
MICHAEL PORTER The mind needs to be trained to be happy, calm, serene, peaceful, hopeful, joyful, blissful, contend...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA There is a leadership problem at the highest levels of the Clinton-Gore administration about focusin...
PORTER GOSS We are executing very well right now. Brennan is making some very good decisions there.
ANDY BITTO There was nothing more infuriating than when a person like Dr. Madsen was right.
SCOTT MEYER An Incredible person may not be intelligent, but an intelligent person is truly incredible.
AINALA SUHAS There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand...
JEAN BAUDRILLARD Marriage is not just about meeting the right person, it's also about being the right person.
JEFFREY COLEMAN JR. When I was a kid I went to Catholic school, and they used to drag us out to pro-life rallies and stu...
TIM HEIDECKER In a crazy world where he would get nominated, I'd like to see Obama run against Herman Cain. Th...
TIM HEIDECKER Online piracy needs to be dealt with itself, because people are just wholesale stealing people's...
TIM HEIDECKER I want people to think about movies and how we watch them. Let them know it's okay to question t...
TIM HEIDECKER There's a lot of dopes in life, and in film school. The interesting people are usually easy to f...
TIM HEIDECKER Back in high school, there was something fun and dangerous about inhabiting a different personality.
TIM HEIDECKER My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my mom's very silly, and th...
TIM HEIDECKER Nothing impresses the ladies like a clean, pressed pair of khakis and a large pattern shirt featurin...
TIM HEIDECKER When I was in college in Philly, there was a lot of post-punks... hardcore... like, rock. Sixties, r...
TIM HEIDECKER There are a lot of young, well-educated, artistic people out there that like to be entertained.
TIM HEIDECKER Up until the age of 9 or so, I was an incredibly happy, pretty well-adjusted, funny kid who made my ...
CHRISTOPHER STANLEY There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off.
DOUGLAS COUPLAND Funny is funny. I dare anyone to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing the dentist sketch, whic...
CAROL BURNETT "Feel inner gratitude by making right choices, which will help determine our destiny" ~Tom Baker
TOM BAKER AKA THE PONDERING MAN Integrity is about making choices based on strong moral values rather than personal or financial gai...
GEORGE M. ETHERIDGE The well-adjusted make poor prophets.
ERIC HOFFER Stay away - this is not a stable, well-adjusted person! When there's no consistency whatsoever and t...
ANDREA MCNICHOL I believe that there is a Matrix and... to be more accurate I am in the Pornography Matrix.
DEYTH BANGER Knowledge is power, if you know it about the right person.
ETHEL WATTS MUMFORD Life is a matter of really tough choices.
JOE BIDEN Intentional living is the art of making our own choices before others' choices make us.
RICHIE NORTON She's right on target with her core principles. Taxpayers should have some, but not too many, choice...
E. MARTIN DAVIDOFF There is nothing like right or wrong question or answer. A question may be right for someone and wro...
ANUJ SOMANY If you take a perfectly well-adjusted normal person of any age from anywhere in the country and stic...
CHRIS EIGEMAN My favourite comedian, of course, is Tim Conway. He has a way about him - being that belly-laugh kin...
CAROL BURNETT What does being a woman today mean? Is there a right way of doing it? Is there a wrong way of doing ...
ELIZABETH MERIWETHER There’s nothing wrong with making the right mistakes.
MUHAMMED HAIDER There's a need for accepting responsibility - for a person's life and making choices that ar...
BUZZ ALDRIN I think I may be the most well-adjusted person you'd ever meet who thinks constantly about falli...
ALEXANDRA KLEEMAN ‎There is nothing sweeter than finding the right person to love and cherish and to share your hope...
MARY LYDON SIMONSEN From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!
DR. SUESS There's something dangerous about what's funny. Jarring and disconcerting. There is a connec...
CHRISTOPHER WALKEN I can play a cat lady. I can't put my foot down and refuse to play anything but playing the perf...
SARAH BAKER Steve Martin is a legendary actor and a wonderful person to work with. He's incredibly well prep...
DAVID FRANKEL We've been in every game. We're just a funny team right now. We've got the players. All we have to d...
KAYLYN BAYLY If you can be funny, it means you're intelligent. Your brain is working fast.
AMBER VALLETTA When carrying the burden of problems and stress that life seems to endlessly hurtle towards us. We g...
GARY F EVANS... To have hope in an age where hope is very scarce and hurt, jealousy and pain are more prominent is a...
GARY F EVANS... Truth metastasized into lurid fantasy.
F. MULDER Sometimes, there aren't any good choices. Sometimes, making the right one is hard... It's funny, but...
JENNIFER LYNN BARNES I believe there is also a Tim Roth Monastery.
TIM ROTH As simple as it sounds, we all must try to be the best person we can: by making the best choices, by...
MARY LOU RETTON Because growing up means making tough choices, and doing the right thing doesn’t necessarily mean ...
KATIE MCGARRY Am I getting better at making choices? Well, I think I might be getting better at reading scripts.
BENICIO DEL TORO 'Mrs Funnybones' is based and structured around my columns, and it's about how a modern ...
TWINKLE KHANNA History is merciless. History doesn't care if we pound our society down a rat hole. It's up ...
JAMES HOWARD KUNSTLER I tried a juice cleanse, and it was a total disaster. For the eight hours that I lasted, I felt like...
IVANKA TRUMP She was intimidating and all I could do was sit back on the couch as she paced back and forth, slowl...
IN THE MAKING It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
KRISHNAMURTI It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
KRISHNAMURTI It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
JIDDU KRISHNAMURTI There are some ideas so wrong that only a very intelligent person could believe in them.
GEORGE ORWELL Feminism was about making women's lives less constrained and giving them more choices.
HANNA ROSIN More than anything for me, making music is about taking nothing and making something.
K. FLAY There's no one right way to parent, and there's no magic combination of genders that produce...
JESSICA VALENTI People need to be educated so that they can make intelligent moral choices
GARY L. FRANCIONE There's nothing less funny than someone who looks cool. There's nothing more unappealing.
ERIC WAREHEIM Cities have sexes: London is a man, Paris a woman, and New York a well-adjusted transsexual.
ANGELA CARTER I love a smart, well-written show, and '30 Rock,' well, you can't get any better than th...
ANDY COHEN His life seemed like a deck of cards, and in the midst of all those two’s and three’s someone ha...
TEKOA MANNING [The verdict] is not consistent with the evidence. There is nothing in the record about another pers...
RALPH WILSON It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. -Krishnamurti.
KRISHNAMURTI The ruling in Dover banning intelligent design clearly has no relevance for Ohio. Ohio is not teachi...
CASEY LUSKIN They were not merely quipsters and storytellers, nor were they only song and dance entertainers. The...
STANLEY GREEN Marriage is not about age; it's about finding the right person.
SOPHIA BUSH An intelligent person can rationalize anything, a wise person doesn't try.
JEN KNOX

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TIM HEIDECKER In a crazy world where he would get nominated, I'd like to see Obama run against Herman Cain. Th...
TIM HEIDECKER Online piracy needs to be dealt with itself, because people are just wholesale stealing people's...
TIM HEIDECKER I want people to think about movies and how we watch them. Let them know it's okay to question t...
TIM HEIDECKER There's a lot of dopes in life, and in film school. The interesting people are usually easy to f...
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TIM RYAN Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds.
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TIM HOWARD I love acting, but it's all just a bonus.
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TIM O'BRIEN I like bothering people and stirring things up.
TIM DALY I always wondered how it would be to put on a Braves uniform and play in Atlanta.
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TIM FARGO Your friends will believe in your potential, your enemies will make you live up to it.
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TIM GOULD Let us live for the beauty of our own reality.
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TIM MCCARVER I grew up in New York, and I have that in me, that be-honest-at-all-costs, don't b.s. me attitude. I...
TIM ROBBINS Necessity is the author of change.
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TIM BURTON Telling lies does not work in advertising.
TIM BELL Anyone who has lost track of time when using a computer knows the propensity to dream, the urge to m...
TIM BERNERS I believe that treating other people well is a lost art.
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TIM CAHILL I hate them with all the hate you can hate with. Can you hate more than that? If you can, I hate the...
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TIM FERRISS I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
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TIM RYAN The philosophical point is that our happiness and wellbeing is not based on incomes rising. This is ...
TIM JACKSON A picture of me as this super affable sales guy gets painted, but in actuality, I'm pretty drive...
TIM ARMSTRONG I believe that everyone, regardless of who they are, should do something that is greater than themse...
TIM TEBOW I am living out my adolescent dream of travel and adventure.
TIM CAHILL The community of developers whose work you see on the Web, who probably don't know what ADO or U...
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TIM BISHOP A healthy Amtrak is an integral part of New York and the Nation's economy and transportation sys...
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TIM TEBOW When under siege, if we do not stand for our liberties and for the liberties of those who are unable...
TIM HUELSKAMP The American economy has always been the innovator in the world, and we're starting to see some ...
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TIM HARFORD Novelty is adaptive when things are changing and you need to adapt yourself. Tradition is essential ...
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TIM ROBBINS While I am talking about private sector job creation, the cap-and-trade energy tax, Speaker Pelosi&#...
TIM GRIFFIN It is the accuracy and detail inherent in crafted goods that endows them with lasting value. It is t...
TIM JACKSON If women are not accorded equal place in the leadership of the Catholic Church and the other great w...
TIM KAINE If we don't figure out a way to create equity, real equity, of opportunity and access, to good s...
TIM WISE Everyone has a best feature, so find clothes and accessories to accentuate those, whether it's y...
TIM GUNN Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station...
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TIM GUNN I had this wonderful career and thought I would retire as a teacher.
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TIM DALY My dad was a great business guy, and he always taught us that his business acumen would put his work...
TIM KAINE In Hollywood, they think drawn animation doesn't work anymore, computers are the way. They forge...
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TIM COPE I pray to start my day and finish it in prayer. I'm just thankful for everything, all the blessi...
TIM TEBOW I'm just thankful for everything, all the blessings in my life, trying to stay that way. I think...
TIM TEBOW I think life is sacred, whether it's abortion or the death penalty.
TIM KAINE A bullet can kill the enemy, but a bullet can also produce an enemy, depending on whom that bullet s...
TIM O'BRIEN I hate when people don't keep their word or they are late. Tardiness is a big pet peeve of mine.
TIM HUDSON The Holocaust illustrates the consequences of prejudice, racism and stereotyping on a society. It fo...
TIM HOLDEN Until the company believes in itself, AOL didn't have its own space and identity in the marketpl...
TIM ARMSTRONG The idea was to study fertilization in as many different phyla and organisms as possible, using the ...
TIM HUNT Everyone is going to binge on a diet, for instance, so plan for it, schedule it, and contain the dam...
TIM FERRISS People love to talk about the old bipartisanship. But it wasn't really bipartisanship. Yeah, the...
TIM GRIFFIN Working on 'Nightmare Before Christmas,' I had endless arguments, like the studio saying, &#...
TIM BURTON I love getting on the subway because you get on the car, and you see the entire human race represent...
TIM DALY We're entering a new world in which data may be more important than software.
TIM O'REILLY Who was the first person to fly across the Atlantic? Lindbergh. Who was the second? No idea.
TIM O'REILLY There is a possibility of fresh talent coming to work for the government. Millennials are the most p...
TIM O'REILLY The thing we should all be looking for are people who want to make a difference. I'm a big belie...
TIM O'REILLY If companies don't think systemically enough - if they try to capture too much of the value - ev...
TIM O'REILLY I think Microsoft will have to change. I think that the business of Microsoft, the company of Micros...
TIM O'REILLY A short, glorious life in service of a greater good - say, the life of the Spartans at Thermopylae, ...
TIM O'REILLY One of O'Reilly's advantages is that we have a network of thousands of user groups to whom w...
TIM O'REILLY So many technologies start out with a burst of idealism, democratization, and opportunity, and over ...
TIM O'REILLY I think that Microsoft will increasingly feel margin pressure from Linux as well as people saying: w...
TIM O'REILLY A lot of the websites built through the 1990s used Perl. The first webmaster of Sun Microsystems coi...
TIM O'REILLY It's hard to make something as large as a government change. It's a little bit like building...
TIM O'REILLY There's not a single business model, and there's not a single type of electronic content. Th...
TIM O'REILLY My original business model - I actually wrote this down - was 'interesting work for interesting ...
TIM O'REILLY The network is opening up some amazing possibilities for us to reinvent content, reinvent collaborat...
TIM O'REILLY Why did Google, for example, recently decide to offer free 411 service? I haven't talked to peop...
TIM O'REILLY One of the big changes at the heart of Web 2.0 is the shift from the creation of software artifacts,...
TIM O'REILLY We often get blinded by the forms in which content is produced, rather than the job that the content...
TIM O'REILLY This whole idea of visibility by the public creates a pretty powerful lever. In the new transparency...
TIM O'REILLY Empowerment of individuals is a key part of what makes open source work, since in the end, innovatio...
TIM O'REILLY What new technology does is create new opportunities to do a job that customers want done.
TIM O'REILLY I started to do stop-motion when I was a kid. You take a Super 8 and make some models, and move, cli...
TIM BURTON What's so amazing in today's society is people look up to football players. And as a footbal...
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TIM O'BRIEN For people of color - especially African Americans - the idea that racist cops might frame members o...
TIM WISE I had the opportunity to go into the hospitals and talk to kids and see a kid and make him smile. Wh...
TIM TEBOW Is the Mona Lisa an 'accurate' representation of the actual human model for the painting? Wh...
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TIM HUDSON You feel like a stud out there when people swing and miss. As I've gotten older, I've preach...
TIM HUDSON Sure, I like ice cream, but when you keep a healthy lifestyle, it's: Do you prefer sweets and cr...
TIM HOWARD I really try to enjoy life and have joy with what I do.
TIM TEBOW Let your joy be in your journey - not in some distant goal.
TIM COOK I don't complain when it's sunny.
TIM HOWARD We have to humble ourselves and the way you do that is by serving other people.
TIM TEBOW Productivity - the amount of output delivered per hour of work in the economy - is often viewed as t...
TIM JACKSON I'm not perfect. I'm never going to be. And that's the great thing about living the Chri...
TIM TEBOW Mystery is a resource, like coal or gold, and its preservation is a fine thing.
TIM CAHILL America lost its face with the debacle of the Vietnam War.
TINY TIM Brotherhood means laying down your life for somebody, really willing to sacrifice yourself for someb...
TIM HETHERINGTON Economists have allowed themselves to walk into a trap where we say we can forecast, but no serious ...
TIM HARFORD I hope people remember me as a good and decent man. And if they do, then that's success.
TIM COOK Visions are worth fighting for. Why spend your life making someone else's dreams?
TIM BURTON You know, I'm a big comic book fan. As a kid I used to collect them until there was a horrible m...
TIM MATHESON I think there are a lot of things out there that are humorous that people don't realize until yo...
TIM CONWAY Firms produce goods for households - that's us - and provide us with incomes, and that's eve...
TIM JACKSON Who do you call a civilian in a guerilla war? I mean, it might be a farmer by day or a merchant, a h...
TIM O'BRIEN The mindfulness revolution is not quite as dramatic as the moon shot or the civil rights movement, b...
TIM RYAN Race to race, the Republicans are putting up candidates that are quite far out of the mainstream in ...
TIM KAINE Moreover, health center services save money and lives by treating diseases before they become chroni...
TIM MURPHY And that's the great thing about living the Christian life and trying to live by faith, is you&#...
TIM TEBOW I can't take classified information that I get as a senator and give it to someone with no conse...
TIM KAINE