There is only one person an English girl hates more than she hates her elder sister; and that is her mother.

Home is the girl's prison and the woman's workhouse

An Englishman thinks he is moral when he is only comfortable

Socialism is the same as Communism, only better English

The English are not very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity

If you lived in London, where the whole system is one of false good-fellowship, and you may know a man for twenty years without finding out that he hates you like poison, you would soon have your eyes opened. There we do unkind things in a kind way: we say bitter things in a sweet voice: we always give our friends chloroform when we tear them to pieces.