there's always been a little sadness inside my happiness.

i've never been able to separate the two.


AVA.

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More AVA.

oh, the heartbreakingly beautiful
tender weight of being human.
AVA.
remember you are capable of the most powerful thing in the universe.

you are capable of l...
AVA.
i swallowed the syllables of your name
and i was full.
AVA.
i just want to be honest about my feelings without destroying everything.
AVA.
i am changing
and i am loving change.
AVA
i am awake and alive
and swollen and heavy
with love.
AVA
i am changing
and i am loving change.
AVA.
no one needs love from you
more than you need love from you.

love yourself first, AVA.
i am soft again.
there is water and it surrounds me.
there is feeling and i can feel it. AVA.
love yourself first,
and you will always be in love.
AVA.
every choice i have ever made after you existed
has been dependent on exactly
how close i ...
AVA.
and sadness clung to me
because she did not know
how to be alone.
AVA.
i'm so hooked
on how your mind works,
on what you notice,
on everything that excites ...
AVA
you giver of light.
you lover of love.

you beautiful
beautiful
human being...
AVA.
do not let anyone in
until they love you so fiercely,
you have no defense against their lo...
AVA.
i am soft again.
there is water and it surrounds me.
there is feeling and i can feel it. AVA
you have outgrown this skin.
stop trying to hold it in.
stop trying to hold it together. AVA.
you wanted it all to make sense
and you wanted the most complicated answer,
but the answer...
AVA.
i am awake and alive
and swollen and heavy
with love.
AVA.
hold company with yourself so sacred
that even when you are alone,
you are whole.
AVA.
i'm so hooked
on how your mind works,
on what you notice,
on everything that excites ...
AVA.
some people are so deep
you fall into them
and you never stop falling.
AVA.
you came in slowly like the fog
and consumed me.
AVA.
i want so much to touch you
where my hands cannot.
AVA.
we get brave.
we move.
we believe.
we keep going.
AVA.
you giver of light.
you lover of love.

you beautiful
beautiful
human being...
AVA
everything i know about love
is that it hurts
and is almost always never returned
the...
AVA.
we get brave.
we move.
we believe.
we keep going.
AVA
i can't hold onto love.
i'm not gentle enough.

i always end up
crushing the thi...
AVA.
the opening,
the breaking,
the falling apart
is always so quick.

the hurti...
AVA.
i open for you like a flower.
i let you in like a new day.
AVA
everything i know about love
is that it hurts
and is almost always never returned
the...
AVA
i took it off.
i did not want to carry it with me anymore.
AVA
i took it off.
i did not want to carry it with me anymore.
AVA.
i feel everything.
i do not know how to un-feel
and to not feel
is to stop the sun.
AVA
I want to be an old lady, with my cane, shouting, 'Action!' and 'Cut!'
AVA DUVERNAY
Filmmakers need to realize that their job isn't done when they lock picture. We must see our fil...
AVA DUVERNAY
We know there needs to be diversity in storytellers telling their own stories. I think there's a...
AVA DUVERNAY
Some people say Liz and I are whores, but we are saints. We do not hide our loves hypocritically, an...
AVA GARDNER
How could she just leave me here to live without her? I miss her so much. I love her. I want her to ...
AVA DELLAIRA
Deep down, I'm pretty superficial.
AVA GARDNER
You think you know someone, but that person always changes, and you keep changing, too. I understood...
AVA DELLAIRA
What I told you about saving people isn't true. You might think it is, because you might want someon...
AVA DELLAIRA
And maybe what growing up really means is knowing that you don't have to be just a character, going ...
AVA DELLAIRA
I think a lot of people want to be someone, but we are scared that if we try, we won't be as good as...
AVA DELLAIRA
God knows I've got so many frailties myself, I ought to be able to understand and forgive them in ot...
AVA GARDNER
The way that we're consuming what we watch. Netflix, binge-watching, destination agnostic were n...
AVA DUVERNAY
I am honored to be one of this year's Urbanworld ambassadors for the festival's 20th anniver...
AVA DUVERNAY
When we're talking about diversity, it's not a box to check. It is a reality that should be ...
AVA DUVERNAY
You could make the most beautiful film, and that weekend it's raining too hard on the East Coast...
AVA DUVERNAY
Because once you're afraid of one thing, you can get scared of a lot of stuff.
AVA DELLAIRA
In documentaries, there's a truth that unfolds unnaturally, and you get to chronicle it. In narr...
AVA DUVERNAY
There's really no precedent for someone like me gaining clout in the space that I'm in - a b...
AVA DUVERNAY
I usually make films with $2 and a paper clip.
AVA DUVERNAY
The truth is, honey, I've enjoyed my life. I've had a hell of a good time.
AVA GARDNER
We want to go home and see with our own eyes what the damage is before we decide if we're going to r...
AVA SEVIN
We heard they had an oil spill. Whether it got to our house, we don't know.
AVA SEVIN
We come here for meals and to see the people we've met from the different areas of New Orleans. We w...
AVA SEVIN
On Saturday, when the mayor told everyone to evacuate New Orleans, we got everything together and go...
AVA SEVIN
Because I was promoted as a sort of a siren and played all those sexy broads, people made the mistak...
AVA GARDNER
After my screen test, the director clapped his hands gleefully and yelled: "She can't talk! She can'...
AVA GARDNER
I suffered, I really suffered, with all three of my husbands. And I tried damn hard with all three, ...
AVA GARDNER
I don't understand people who like to work and talk about it like it was some sort of goddamn duty. ...
AVA GARDNER
I think the main reason my marriages failed is that I always loved too well but never wisely.
AVA GARDNER
What's the point? My face, shall we say, looks lived in.
AVA GARDNER
Some people say Liz and I are whores, but we are saints. We do not hide our loves hypocritically, an...
AVA GARDNER
I couldn't imagine a better place [Australia] for making a film on the end of the world.
AVA GARDNER
For the loot, honey, for the loot.
AVA GARDNER
I don't even really see sit-ins and marches as passive. I see them as quite assertive. I see tho...
AVA DUVERNAY
I think any black woman is a queen. It's just, do you know it? Do you see it in yourself? Do you...
AVA DUVERNAY
You gotta follow the white guys. Truly. They've got this thing wired. Too often, we live within ...
AVA DUVERNAY
For female directors, there's a whole other set of things we have to think about, particularly w...
AVA DUVERNAY
The consumer is deciding what they want to see and when and how, and filmmakers are more aware and a...
AVA DUVERNAY
When we say there's a dearth of women directors, it's not that there's a lack of women w...
AVA DUVERNAY
I liked the darkness, the dusty bay window, the view over the grey, muddy harbour and the towering c...
AVA BLOOMFIELD
I took a deep, deep breath and held it in my core; kept it close behind my protruding, fleshless rib...
AVA BLOOMFIELD
Maybe, in the final analysis, they saw me as something I wasn't and I tried to turn them into someth...
AVA GARDNER
The numbers on the board don’t mean a thing, because for the first time in forever, I have somewhe...
AVA DELLAIRA
You know when you think you know someone? More than anyone in the world? You know you know them, bec...
AVA DELLAIRA
I'm a big people watcher and a people talker. The beautiful thing about being an artist and a cr...
AVA DUVERNAY
Creativity is an energy. It's a precious energy, and it's something to be protected. A lot o...
AVA DUVERNAY
Deep down, I'm pretty superficial.
AVA GARDNER
There can be a progression to the dream; there can be steps to it. When you dissect any successful p...
AVA DUVERNAY
With the Black Lives Matter movement, a lot of the focus is on the protest and dissent. I'm hopi...
AVA DUVERNAY
Oh, Diane Nash deserves her own film. Diane Nash is a freedom fighter who is still alive and kicking...
AVA DUVERNAY
To win Best Director at Sundance was beyond anything I could have imagined for myself. It's stil...
AVA DUVERNAY
I'm not going to make someone my priority, when I'm their option.
AVA PORTER
Today, when you look at social media, you see that the narrative can be overtaken by people just fro...
AVA DUVERNAY
Art morphs with what's going on in the world. We say 'Ferguson'; we don't say 'M...
AVA DUVERNAY
I love community, I love to be around other people. I love to be around other people when everyone&#...
AVA DUVERNAY
Film is a mirror. I want to see more filmmakers. We all want to see ourselves.
AVA DUVERNAY
Every filmmaker imbues a movie with their own point of view.
AVA DUVERNAY
There's a big difference between the independent film world and the Hollywood film world, and I ...
AVA DUVERNAY
Film school was a privilege I could not afford.
AVA DUVERNAY
I didn't go to film school. I got my education on the set as a niche publicist in the film indus...
AVA DUVERNAY
I financed and made my own films from the start. My path has been autonomous and independent, so I d...
AVA DUVERNAY
There was a time when I was knocking on doors and concerned with being recognized in dominant cultur...
AVA DUVERNAY
We're told that independent film lovers... folks that are used to watching art house films, won&...
AVA DUVERNAY
'Queen Sugar' is a drama about family. It's something that allows us to be ourselves and...
AVA DUVERNAY
Oprah Winfrey is a big role model for me from a business capacity and a creative capacity. She is an...
AVA DUVERNAY
Sometimes your music sounds like there’s too much inside you.
Maybe even you couldn’t get ...
AVA DELLAIRA
I have only one rule in acting - trust the director and give him heart and soul.
AVA GARDNER
Why do we always have to see black people in hindsight? Why are the Hollywood movies always historic...
AVA DUVERNAY
Be passionate and move forward with gusto every single hour of every single day until you reach your...
AVA DUVERNAY
There's been no major motion picture released by a studio, no independent motion picture, in the...
AVA DUVERNAY
A black woman making art is a disruptive act. Every story that I tell as a woman is a political act,...
AVA DUVERNAY
When I lose my temper, honey, you can't find it any place.
AVA GARDNER
Hell, I suppose if you stick around long enough they have to say something nice about you.
AVA GARDNER
When he fell down the stairs, he told people he'd had a stroke. He was just pissed out of his skull....
AVA GARDNER
But to me, they were beautiful, like their own constellation.
AVA DELLAIRA
As long as you're in an environment where the worth of the project isn't based on the projec...
AVA DUVERNAY
But you said you love me. You don’t just leave after that.
AVA DELLAIRA
All the traditional models for doing things are collapsing; from music to publishing to film, and it...
AVA DUVERNAY
I spent a whole 12 years helping other people tell their stories as a publicist, so just to be able ...
AVA DUVERNAY
I've been to Sundance eight times as a publicist and thought I was very prepared. I mean, who co...
AVA DUVERNAY
Emptiness felt like a living thing. A parasite growing in the center of your chest, somewhere behind...
AVA JAE
The best art is realized when you can share the experience of making of it and not just the presenta...
AVA DUVERNAY
The studios aren't lining up to make films about black protagonists, black people being autonomo...
AVA DUVERNAY
The most liberating moment, is the moment you finally let go.
AVA HARRISON
I think that if we really want to break it down, that non-black filmmakers have had many, many years...
AVA DUVERNAY
My interest as an artist is to illuminate the lives of black folks. I definitely am focused on films...
AVA DUVERNAY
Oh gosh, I'm completely allergic to historical dramas. Particularly those around the civil-right...
AVA DUVERNAY
I think it's like when you lose something so close to you, it's like losing yourself.
AVA DELLAIRA
Women have been trained in our culture and society to ask for what we want instead of taking what we...
AVA DUVERNAY
My next project is 'Venus Vs,' which is a documentary that follows tennis star Venus William...
AVA DUVERNAY
You are bravery to me.
AVA DELLAIRA
Sometimes your music sounds like there's too much inside of you. Maybe even you couldn't get it all ...
AVA DELLAIRA
I think that by beauty, you don't just mean something that's pretty. You mean something that makes u...
AVA DELLAIRA
You learned right away that applause sounds like love.
AVA DELLAIRA
May, I love you with everything I am. For so long, I just wanted to be like you. But I had to figure...
AVA DELLAIRA
We are each weird in a different way, but together, that's actually normal.
AVA DELLAIRA
Artists should be free to create what we want. I believe there's a special value in work that is...
AVA DUVERNAY
Nonviolence is pretty ballsy, pretty advanced weaponry.
AVA DUVERNAY
Because I was promoted as a sort of a siren and played all those sexy broads, people made the mistak...
AVA GARDNER
I have only one rule in acting--trust the director, and give him heart and soul.
AVA GARDNER
I wish I could be the black woman Soderbergh, and put the camera on my shoulder and shoot beautifull...
AVA DUVERNAY
The truth will set you free, they say, but believe me, nothing will set you free.
AVA FARMEHRI
I like silence. Aesthetically, I feel strangled by the fast cutting and a wall of sound. And I think...
AVA DUVERNAY
I really admire Werner Herzog and Spike Lee. They're amazing documentarians. If you took away al...
AVA DUVERNAY
All black women aren't sassy, loud, difficult, or subservient. We are, in fact, very complex and...
AVA DUVERNAY
When you have to face up to the fact that marriage to the man you love is really over, that's very t...
AVA GARDNER
If beauty is truth, and truth is beauty, they are defined by each other, so how do we know the meani...
AVA DELLAIRA
I feel like I am drowning in memories. Everything is too bright.
AVA DELLAIRA
I think it’s like when you lose something so close to you, it’s like losing yourself. That’s w...
AVA DELLAIRA
The thing about traditions is that they hold up the shape of your memory.
AVA DELLAIRA
We do things sometimes because we feel so much inside of us, and we don’t notice how it affects so...
AVA DELLAIRA
It's sad when everyone knows you, but no one knows you.
AVA DELLAIRA
So maybe when we can say things, when we can write the words, when we can express how it feels, we a...
AVA DELLAIRA
I know that it can be hard to believe that someone loves you if you are afraid of being yourself, or...
AVA DELLAIRA
A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself - and especially to feel, or not to f...
AVA DELLAIRA
I mean, words can't be good enough for a lot of things. But, you know, I guess we have to try.
AVA DELLAIRA
she walked like she belonged in a better world,
AVA DELLAIRA
Nirvana means freedom. Freedom from suffering. I guess some people would say that death is just that...
AVA DELLAIRA
I wish you could tell me where you are now. I mean, I know you’re dead, but I think there must be ...
AVA DELLAIRA
Sometimes when we say things, we hear silence. Or only echoes. Like screaming from inside. And that�...
AVA DELLAIRA
Truth is beautiful, no matter what the truth is. Even if it's scary or bad. It is beauty simply beca...
AVA DELLAIRA
There are a lot of human experiences that challenge the limits of our language,” she said. “That...
AVA DELLAIRA
There's more to life than being a passenger.
AVA DELLAIRA
But we aren't transparent. If we want someone to know us, we have to tell them stuff.
AVA DELLAIRA
I know I wrote letters to people with no address on this earth, I know that you are dead. But I hear...
AVA DELLAIRA
When we are in love, we are both completely in danger and completely saved.
AVA DELLAIRA
You can be noble and brave and beautiful and still find yourself falling.
AVA DELLAIRA
I want more girls to be able to see themselves behind the camera creating images we all enjoy, and I...
AVA DUVERNAY
If your dream is only about you, it's too small.
AVA DUVERNAY
There's something very important about films about black women and girls being made by black wom...
AVA DUVERNAY
It's not enough even to have one black Barbie... because black women are not a monolith.
AVA DUVERNAY
I made my first film when I was 35, so I firmly believe that you don't have to be one thing in l...
AVA DUVERNAY
What's the point? My face, shall we say, looks lived in.
AVA GARDNER
I make films about black women and it doesn't mean that you can't see them as a black man, d...
AVA DUVERNAY
If you're doing something outside of dominant culture, there's not an easy place for you. Yo...
AVA DUVERNAY
All of a sudden we were out of the lot and on the highway next to the mountains, flying. I put my ha...
AVA DELLAIRA
Dragons have wild hearts that need the open sky
AVA RICHARDSON
I loved the feeling of being alone together in the car, like we could go anywhere we wanted. Just us...
AVA DELLAIRA
The time is not always now for everything.
AVA RICHARDSON
Our phone bills were astronomical, and when I found the letters Frank wrote me the other day, the to...
AVA GARDNER
You usually find that this is the most romantic sex, because it starts out with long, luscious kisse...
DR AVA CADELL
When you know you're never going to see someone again, you want to leave her wanting you - and you'l...
DR AVA CADELL
There's a correlation between a woman's bottom lip and her vagina. Sucking gently on her lip will ma...
DR AVA CADELL