There's something rotten in the state of Denmark, and Hamlet says...it's payback time!

To each our own Hamlet.

Sorry," [Hamlet] said, rubbing his temples. "I don't know what came over me. All of a sudden I had this overwhelming desire to talk for a very long time without actually doing anything.

Ill-fitting grammar are like ill-fitting shoes. You can get used to it for a bit, but then one day your toes fall off and you can't walk to the bathroom.

If you even think about asking Harry Potter for an autograph, your day ends right now.

I've got six months to sort out the hackers, get the Japanese knotweed under control and find an acceptable form of narcissus.