They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.

Prick us we bleed, prick him he pops.

Principled hate is a hell of a lot stronger than "Boy, I wish you hadn't mummified me and thrown me into the lake" hate.

Shut up. You have to know you're a bombshell. Sure, maybe travel-sized, but beautiful nonetheless. You're proportioned just right. Trust me. Girl are jealous of your knockers and ass.

Awesome."
"Awesome squared."
"Awesome cubed."
"Awesome to the power of infinity."
"The square root of awesome is-"
"-Asha." We finish at the same time and laugh.

There are times when it is appropriate, even preferable, to get an erection when someone's face is in close proximity to your penis.

This was not one of those times.