They say bachelors have all the fun. Not so. You just get old and full of sand, nasty.

The four food groups of bachelorhood: Frozen, Cold Cuts, Breakfast Cereal, and Takeout.

It seems hard to remain a bachelor...to model your appearance and behaviour on one or two bachelors remembered from your youth.
That is how it will be, only that in reality it will be you yourself standing there, today and later, with a body and a real head, and so with a brow too, to strike with your hand.

The best thing for a bachelor is to get a wife who will really cooperate in the great work.

Those who don't have a wife should sublimate their sexual energies with outdoor sports or long walks.

...and, according to my nearest and dearest, practically a half-witted bachelor at that.