They want to talk to you tomorrow.”
“Tomo…” Chase choked on the word. “As in the day after today?”
“Is there any other kind?

Nobody should have to put their boxers in a half rotted chest of drawers.”
“Hey. I’ll have you know that the rustic look is very popular in the burbs.”
“Rustic?” Chase snorted. “Is that your way of saying termite infested?”
“This furniture does not have termites. Mice maybe, even moths, but not termites.”
“Great, I can look forward to having a swiss cheese wardrobe.

[the car] backfired a lot. Loud enough that when I drove in the wrong part of town and it let loose with a gas fart, people actually ducked for cover.

Junior huffed. "The point is, this rope is even better! I call it Andskoti. It is woven with the most powerful paradoxes in the Nine Worlds-.Wi-Fi with no lag, a politician's sincerity, a printer that prints, health deep-fried food, and an interesting grammar lecture!

Hello, Martin.

If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.