Things that aren't important, that have nothing to do with winning and losing, don't have to be a rule.

YOU DID NOT LOSE THE GAME BECAUSE YOUR OPPONENT PARK THE BUS, IT IS EITHER YOUR TACTICS DID NOT WORK OR YOU WERE UNLUCKY

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.

My best girl is dead.

Marta was watching the football game with me when she said, "You know, most of these sports are based on the idea of one group protecting its territory from invasion by another group." "Yeah," I said, trying not to laugh. Girls are funny.

When you look at where team sports are going, the National Football League is turning into organized warfare.