This is a huge night in my life, ... I cannot tell you how proud I am to be the Emmys' first Catholic host.

The ultimate responsibility to drop audio on something like that is mine. It's my show, 'Late Night with Conan O'Brien,' ... If I had to do it over again, I understand that word is offensive to people, it hurts people. I would say, 'Let's drop audio on it.'

Last night there were these 16-year-old girls in the audience with homemade T-shirts, ... They've only been fans of the show for two years. They don't even remember that Andy Richter was my sidekick. It's inconceivable.

I think the best thing I ever did was, years before I got the 'Late Night' show, when I first got out to Los Angeles to be a television writer, the first thing I did was I signed up to take improvisational classes... And I studied that for years, and I really loved it.

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.

There are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized.