This is satire. I am a satirist. Modern-day society has this obsession with needing to know every ounce of angst about performers' lives, to the point that it becomes more important than whether they can perform.

Martin Short

Martin Short

Day Satire Society

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The universe is a million billion light-years wide, and every inch of it would kill you if you went there. This is the position of the universe with regards to human life.

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I have a dream, that one day all three of my children will one day, grow up in a society where they are not judged by their race, but by their character.

— Martin Luther King Jr.

We find you have be careful about what you make up, because it'll come back to haunt you. I make up so much stuff, I say it's growing like a snowball.

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I pretend I'm one of the royal family when I'm in a hotel and that the hotel belongs to me - it is a palace.

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He's an original genius,

— Martin Short