Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Groucho Marx
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Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
UNKNOWN AUTHOR Time flies like an arrow - but fruit flies like a banana.
TERRY WOGAN Like an arrow to its mark flies the word good man's word.
PLATEN The bad news is time flies like an arrow and the good news is the bow is in your hands.
VIKRANT PARSAI Cartoons are like fruit flies. Biologists use fruit flies because their large chromosomes and short ...
ROBERT MANKOFF They are like flies. They fly in an out.
MIKE DITKA The bow is bent, the arrow flies,
The winged shaft of fate.
IRA FREDERICK ALDRIDGE Love like a shadow flies when substance love pursues;Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursu...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Time flies never to be recalled.
VIRGIL But meanwhile time flies; it flies never to be regained.
VIRGIL Two thirds of the genes in humans are found in fruit flies.
DUOJIA PAN The flies don't even like this stuff.
JEFF HAYES Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
ROBERT ORBEN You see scooters on Stratford Road all the time now. They look like little flies buzzing.
BRIAN VAUGHN I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
MICHAEL FELDMAN I like to exhilarate the audience like Groucho Marx exhilarated me when I was a kid. Also, I enjoy d...
FRANK FERRANTE When you get a groove going, time flies.
DONALD FAGEN Whenever, at a party, I have been in the mood to study fools, I have always looked for a great beaut...
JEAN PAUL RICHTER Whenever, at a party, I have been in the mood to study fools, I have always looked for a great beaut...
JEAN PAUL If you would hit the mark, you must aim a little above it; every arrow that flies feels the attracti...
HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW by the time snow flies.
BRUCE MACDONALD They just all went down like flies, all six of them.
MYFANWY MARSHALL If you would hit the mark, you must aim a little above it;
Every arrow that flies feels the att...
HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW Time flies slowly when you're hungry..
MJ CHRISTINE Time flies never to be recalled.
UNKNOWN Time flies but books are timeless...
NANETTE L. AVERY Oh! that the memories which survive us here
Were half so lovely as these wings of thine!
Pure...
CHARLES TENNYSON TURNER Baby bye
Here's a fly,
Let us watch him, you and I,
How he crawls
Up the walls
...
THEODORE TILTON Busy, curious, thirsty fly,
Drink with me and drink as I!
Freely welcome to my cup,
Coul...
WILLIAM OLDYS A fly sat on the chariot wheel
And said "what a dust I raise."
JEAN DE LA FONTAINE I saw a flie within a beade
Of amber cleanly buried.
ROBERT HERRICK To a boyling pot flies comes not.
[To a boiling pot flies come not.]
GEORGE HERBERT The fly that sips treacle is lost in the sweets.
JOHN GAY Make yourself honey and the flies will devour you.
[Sp., Haceos miel, y paparos han moscas.]
CERVANTES (MIGUEL DE CERVANTES SAAVEDRA) And it shall come to pass in that day, that the Lord shall hiss
for the fly that is in the uttermos...
BIBLE We see how flies, and spiders, and the like, get a sepulchre in
amber, more durable than the monume...
FRANCIS BACON It was prettily devised of Aesop: The fly sat upon the axle-tree
of the chariot-wheel, and said, W...
FRANCIS BACON We see spiders, flies or ants entombed and preserved forever in
amber, a more than royal tomb.
FRANCIS BACON It's pretty scary to know how quickly time flies.
JAMES WAN Time flies over us, but leaves its shadow behind.
NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE Time sometimes flies like a bird, sometimes crawls like a snail; but a man is happiest when he does ...
IVAN TURGENEV The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
GROUCHO MARX An eagle does not catch flies.
PROVERB A woman is like your shadow - follow her, she flies; fly from her, she follows
CHAMFORT Time flies, as he flies, adds increase to her truth,
And gives to her mind what he steals from her...
MICHAEL EYQUEN DE MONTAIGNE Sadness flies away on the wings of time.
JEAN DE LA FONTAINE Time flies, whether you’re wasting it or not.
CRYSTAL WOODS The real achievement of Woody Allen was that he was making movies that felt very personal, and for a...
NOAH BAUMBACH After that, we were like flies stuck in honey, alive but not really living.
MARTHA HALL KELLY The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN Love is like a bird, they flies everywhere, its free, but its hard to trust someone where they like ...
ERICO QUIAMBAO Richard wrote a diary entry in his head.
Dear Diary, he began. On Friday I had ...
NEIL GAIMAN Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings.
VICTOR J. STENGER The first glass you drive in like a stake, the second flies like a crake, and after the third they f...
LEO NIKOLAEVICH TOLSTOY The frog says, "times fun when you're having flies!
DAVID BANKSON Slanders are like flies, that pass all over a man's good parts to light on his sores.
ANON. Make good use of your time, it flies fast.
OVID PUBLIUS OVIDIUS NASO Time flies over us, but leaves it shadow behind
NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE Time ticks, time flies, what have you done in your life?
ALEKSANDR SEBRYAKOV Time flies really quickly. It feels like only a few months ago that I was traded over here and start...
JAKE ARRIETA Describing the Internet as the Network of Networks is like calling the Space Shuttle, a thing that f...
JOHN LESTER Time flies, death urges, knells call, Heaven invites,Hell threatens.
EDWARD YOUNG Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
ROBERT ORBEN Time flies. It’s up to you to be the navigator.
ROBERT ORBEN Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through.
JONATHAN SWIFT It's your weakness gives them their strength. Mark how they dare not speak to me. A nameless horror ...
JEAN-PAUL SARTRE Let it crumble! Let the rocks revile me and flowers wilt at my coming. Your whole universe is not en...
JEAN-PAUL SARTRE Statistics indicate that, as a result of overwork, modern executives are dropping like flies on the ...
IRA WALLACH Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies but which let wasps and hornets break through.
JONATHAN SWIFT We had injury after injury; our girls were dropping like flies. It was really hard to substitute.
JOELEEN AKIN There may be flies on you and me, but there are no flies on Jesus.
HUNTER S. THOMPSON You catch a lot more flies with honey than vinegar, as they say, though I warrant you get even more ...
THOMM QUACKENBUSH It is just my imagination that flies,
While she is wrapped up in her bedsheets
like a nest...
KIERA WOODHULL Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe...
JOHN LITHGOW Time flies and we walk thats the reason we never catch up with time.
NOMAN QAYYUM Time flies when you're with the right person, eternity is not enough.
KēVENS Time is our companion,but it flies faster than we can imagine.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) Time flies, history is made.We don't see the value, until it fades
WEI LIN We are the archers with the bows that spring our children forward. Life does not go backward, nor do...
DAVID PAUL KIRKPATRICK A closed mouth catches no flies.
PROVERB A closed mouth catches no flies.
FRENCH PROVERB A closed mouth catches no flies
FRENCH PROVERB For fifteen years Mr. Polly was a respectable shopkeeper in Fishbourne. Years they were in which eve...
H.G. WELLS Most people don't know what to expect with the controls. It flies basically like a real airplane jus...
ART WILLIAMS Money just draws flies.
MAHALIA JACKSON Whatever flies your rocket.
ASHLEY DAWN MCGOUGH Stuff flies over the walls all the time ? batteries and change and paper.
ELISSA KLINE The reputation of a girl ... is a delicate thing. Like a mynah bird in your hands. slacken your grip...
KHALED HOSSEINI Every man, wherever he goes, is encompassed by a cloud of comforting convictions, which move with hi...
BERTRAND RUSSELL Every man, wherever he goes, is encompassed by a cloud of comforting convictions which move with him...
BERTRAND RUSSELL All the minor sports injuries you acquire over the years begin to multiply like flies when you get o...
PETER O'TOOLE Into a mouth shut flies flie not.
GEORGE HERBERT A word, once sent abroad, flies irrevocably.
HORACE A kite only flies if it’s tethered.
VICTOR ROBERT LEE The dimension of depth in the consciousness of religion creates the tension between what is and what...
REINHOLD NIEBUHR Managing is like holding a dove in your hand. Squeeze too hard and you kill it, not hard enough and ...
TOMMY LASORDA
More Groucho Marx
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
GROUCHO MARX I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
GROUCHO MARX How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
GROUCHO MARX I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
GROUCHO MARX I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
GROUCHO MARX What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
GROUCHO MARX Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club
that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX [When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead
or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX