FastSaying

Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap.


Anonymous

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OSCAR AULIQ-ICE

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ANONYMOUS Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
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I'm skinny, but I'm really chunky.
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ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park.
ANONYMOUS It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?
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ANONYMOUS Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.
ANONYMOUS What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
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ANONYMOUS Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
ANONYMOUS Smile while you still have teeth.
ANONYMOUS Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.
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ANONYMOUS Funny sign at health spa: Fresh 10,000 year old mud for sale.
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ANONYMOUS True love is truly amazing only when it's truly true.
ANONYMOUS Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms.
ANONYMOUS Is it good if a blow dryer blows?
ANONYMOUS Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
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ANONYMOUS