Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.

People are always asking me when I’m going to retire. Why should I? I’ve got it two ways - I’m still making movies, and I’m a senior citizen, so I can see myself at half price.

Some aid is not being delivered to those who need it, which is making people desperate and driving them into camps.