Twitter provides us with a wonderful platform to discuss/confront societal problems. We trend Justin Bieber instead.

Boys are like purses. You're always gonna have that one boy that you're always comfortable with and you know you'll always kind of like. That's your purse that you wear everywhere. Then you have that gorgeous bag that you want everyone to see you with but the gorgeous bag is usually an asshole or costs a lot of money. Then you have those other purses that you really like but you really don't want to be seen with

The prettier the wine bottle, the higher the likelihood sorority girls will buy it.

If you can spell "Nietzsche" without Google, you deserve a cookie.

Let's still be friends" (things that are never true in a break up, but you have to say).

Ask anyone with a big book collection, and they'll tell you moving them was the hardest part of the move. Take down a bookshelf and there's often no less than four, possibly up to eight, good Lord if it's over ten, boxes of dense material. This is the single greatest argument for welcoming ebooks. Abandoning print and having your Kindle on display instead doesn't sound like such a bad idea while carrying book box number seven to the car.