FastSaying

UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.


Ambrose Bierce

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
ELAYNE BOOSLER There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ...
J.J. MCAVOY No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ...
H. P. LOVECRAFT There is no moral virtue in being endowed with genius rather than talent: It is a gift of the gods o...
DOROTHY GREEN HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of...
AMBROSE BIERCE In the matter of furnishing, I find a certain absence of ugliness far worse than ugliness.
SIDONIE GABRIELLE COLETTE Every good thing in the Christian life grows in the soil of humility. Without humility, every virtue...
JOHN PIPER Humility is a virtue, and it is a virtue innate in guests.
MAX BEERBOHM Life is a gift of the immortal Gods, but living well is the gift of philosophy
SENECA Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patience, n. -- A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE Monotheism is a gift from the gods.
FIRE CAT The fewer our wants, the nearer we resemble the gods
SOCRATES Humility is the only soil in which the graces root; the lack of humility is the sufficient explanati...
ANDREW MURRAY It is, indeed, a trial to maintain the virtue of humility when one can't help being right.
JUDITH MARTIN To forget is Gods gift to man,to forgive is mans gift to God.
KOWSALAPATHY He was ugly, himself. Weird-ugly. But ugliness in a man doesn't matter, much. Ugliness in a woman is...
JOYCE CAROL OATES The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make. �...
VICE PRESIDENT DAN QUAYLE FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE The gods bestowed on Max the gift of perpetual old age.
OSCAR WILDE Humility, the place of entire dependence on God, is the first duty and the highest virtue of the cre...
ANDREW MURRAY Everyday is Gods gift for us.
KOWSALAPATHY Real genius is nothing else but the supernatural virtue of humility in the domain of thought.
SIMONE WEIL Humility is indeed beatness, a compulsory virtue that no one exhibits unless he has to.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS All good fortune is a gift of the gods, and you don't win the favor of the ancient gods by being goo...
ANITA BROOKNER All good fortune is a gift of the gods, and. . . you don't win the favor of the ancient gods by be...
ANITA BROOKNER All good fortune is a gift of the gods, and. . . you don't win the favor of the ancient gods by be...
ANITA BROOKNER Tact is an ability to live in the midst of ugliness without getting ugly.
DEBASISH MRIDHA Love without humility results in the inclination to act as everyone's parent, humility without love ...
CRISS JAMI All good fortune is a gift of the gods, and you don't win the favor of the ancient gods by being...
ANITA BROOKNER women are Gods, women are the life-breath
LORILIAI BIERNACKI Women who are harassed, at work, on the street, or even online, are subject to the same rigid purity...
JESSICA VALENTI Trauma is hell on earth. Trauma resolved is a gift from the gods.
PETER A. LEVINE Humility without equality, leads to abuse of authority.
BRANDON A. TREAN But I think the public need to know what this is entailing,
KENNETH ARNDT You can find the footprints of God wherever there is beauty, virtue, humility, justice, truth, love ...
SRI SATHYA SAI BABA It’s not what you get, but what you give that is God’s true measure of a life.
ELIZABETH GEORGE Humility is the foundation of all the other virtues hence, in the soul in which this virtue does not...
SAINT AUGUSTINE There is a very fine line (almost transparent), between cordiality and hypocrisy--knowing to disting...
EFRAT CYBULKIEWICZ By virtue of believing in a Supreme Being one embraces certain mysteries.
ROBERT VAUGHN Blind submission in women is considered a virtue, while submission to wrong is itself wrong, and res...
ERNESTINE ROSE Affliction is the wholesome soil of virtue, where patience, honor, sweet humility, and calm fortitud...
DAVID MALLET In utter humility, bow to What Is. And in time, crying one's guts out, howling, bowing to IT, "knowi...
FAKEER ISHAVARDAS PREJUDICE, n. A vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
AMBROSE BIERCE In reverent pauses, when we slow down and think about the gift of life, we may briefly touch humilit...
BRYANT MCGILL The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
EMILE ZOLA The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
ÉMILE ZOLA Humility, the place of entire dependence upon God, is from the very nature of things the first duty ...
ANDREW MURRAY All the traditional iconography around rock 'n' roll - sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll - wasn't so much...
BRAD TOLINSKI humility is beyond our reach. if it were a product of reaching, we would instinctively be proud of r...
JOHN PIPER Beauty without virtue is like a rose without scent.
PROVERB When someone offends me, I think it’s a gift from Allah (god). He (Allah) is teaching me humility.
ابن تيمية IBN TAYMIYYAH I have never seen a man as fond of virtue as of women.
CONFUCIUS Nobility, without virtue, is a fine setting without a gem.
JANE PORTER Nobility, without virtue, is a fine setting without a gem
JANE PORTER I am often asked how it is that I am able to value people to such a deep degree. Apparently, I exhib...
C. JOYBELL C. In every country, we should be teaching our children the scientific method and the reasons for a Bil...
CARL SAGAN All bow to virtue, and then walk away
DE FINOD You cannot have Liberty in this world without what you call Moral Virtue, and you cannot have Moral ...
WILLIAM BLAKE Tolerance is the virtue of the man without convictions.
GILBERT K. CHESTERTON Tolerance is the virtue of the man without convictions.
G. K. CHESTERTON Tolerance is the virtue of the man without convictions.
G.K. CHESTERTON Well, Valek, any new promotions?” the Commander asked
“No. But Maren shows promise. Unfortu...
MARIA V. SNYDER Humility is not something that comes naturally. But it is a cardinal virtue that should be pursued m...
JOYCE MEYER Courage is not merely a virtue; it is the virtue. Without it, there are no other virtues.
WILLIAM TEMPLE SR. Feast of Gregory, Bishop of Nyssa, & his sister Macrina, Teachers, c.394 & c.379 Humility is the ...
ST. JOHN CHRYSOSTOM I have no regrets about my work. To be a photographer was a gift of the gods. I can't imagine an...
RUTH BERNHARD A country cannot subsist well without liberty, nor liberty without virtue.
JEAN JACQUES ROUSSEAU A country cannot subsist well without liberty, nor liberty without virtue.
JEAN-JACQUES ROUSSEAU A country cannot subsist well without liberty, nor liberty without virtue.
DANIEL WEBSTER The only foundation for a useful education in a republic is to be laid in religion. Without this the...
BENJAMIN RUSH Without humility there can be no humanity.
JOHN BUCHAN Without humility there can be no humanity
JOHN BUCHAN Service without humility is selfishness and egotism.
MAHATMA GANDHI ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b...
AMBROSE BIERCE As vivacity is the gift of women, gravity is that of men.
JOSEPH ADDISON Without modesty, woman is devoid of beauty and culture. Humility, purity of thought and manners, mee...
SRI SATHYA SAI BABA Knowledge without virtue is a devil's tool.
JAGDISH BALI You must save what you can of your life; you musn't lose it all simply because you've lost a part.
HENRY JAMES The Transformation of music into noise was a planetary process by which mankind was entering the his...
MILAN KUNDERA Respect for self is the beginning of cultivating virtue in men and women.
GORDON B. HINCKLEY The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it.
LORD MACAULAY Love is not... ~ Words, without action ~ Action, without intent ~ Intent, without heart ~ Heart, wit...
BETHANY SAXTON Isolation is a gift. Everything else is just a test of your endurance. You will be alone with the Go...
CHARLES BUKOWSKI One of the ability of humility is the ability to take the second place without striving for self-pro...
SUNDAY ADELAJA One of the characteristics of humility is the ability to take the second place without striving for ...
SUNDAY ADELAJA Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It i...
AMBROSE BIERCE No gift comes without a price.
RICK RIORDAN Without missions, the greatest of all knowledges will be that of 'dead gods'.
KIMTO OCHE EMMANUEL Were there no women, men might live like gods.
THOMAS DEKKER Were there no women, men might live like gods
THOMAS DEKKER Ardor, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
AMBROSE BIERCE Virtue cannot separate itself from reality without becoming a principle of evil.
ALBERT CAMUS Virtue cannot separate itself from reality without becoming a principle of evil.
ALBERT CAMUS People have preconceptions about women of a certain age.
LESLEY NICOL For what is done or learned by one class of women becomes, by virtue of their common womanhood, the ...
ELIZABETH BLACKWELL But to Fitz she’d always be invisible. An impossible task of face and body for which he had yet to...
L. DONSKY-LEVINE An ambassador is a man of virtue sent to lie abroad for his country; a news-writer is a man without ...
HENRY WOTTON, SR. An ambassador is a man of virtue sent to lie abroad for his country; a news-writer is a man without ...
HENRY WOTTON SR.

More Ambrose Bierce

Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCE Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for,...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Doubt is the father of invention.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
AMBROSE BIERCE Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b...
AMBROSE BIERCE For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand...
AMBROSE BIERCE Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g...
AMBROSE BIERCE Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
AMBROSE BIERCE The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th...
AMBROSE BIERCE Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ...
AMBROSE BIERCE An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes...
AMBROSE BIERCE Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCE Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co...
AMBROSE BIERCE Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no...
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan...
AMBROSE BIERCE Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover...
AMBROSE BIERCE Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
AMBROSE BIERCE A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
AMBROSE BIERCE Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
AMBROSE BIERCE Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un...
AMBROSE BIERCE Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t...
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
AMBROSE BIERCE A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
AMBROSE BIERCE As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen...
AMBROSE BIERCE Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.
AMBROSE BIERCE A man is known by the company he organizes.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
AMBROSE BIERCE An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!
AMBROSE BIERCE Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
AMBROSE BIERCE Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta...
AMBROSE BIERCE Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
AMBROSE BIERCE Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis...
AMBROSE BIERCE Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please...
AMBROSE BIERCE Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
AMBROSE BIERCE A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl...
AMBROSE BIERCE Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give...
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien...
AMBROSE BIERCE A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ...
AMBROSE BIERCE A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.
AMBROSE BIERCE An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
AMBROSE BIERCE To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
AMBROSE BIERCE An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k...
AMBROSE BIERCE Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
AMBROSE BIERCE Habit is a shackle for the free.
AMBROSE BIERCE Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
AMBROSE BIERCE Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
AMBROSE BIERCE Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad...
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha...
AMBROSE BIERCE The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
AMBROSE BIERCE When in Rome, do as Rome does.
AMBROSE BIERCE To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie...
AMBROSE BIERCE Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
AMBROSE BIERCE Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou...
AMBROSE BIERCE Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
AMBROSE BIERCE Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Woman absent is woman dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE The covers of this book are too far apart.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso...
AMBROSE BIERCE A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi...
AMBROSE BIERCE The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte...
AMBROSE BIERCE ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima...
AMBROSE BIERCE ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
AMBROSE BIERCE Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCE International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde...
AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
AMBROSE BIERCE There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus...
AMBROSE BIERCE HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com...
AMBROSE BIERCE ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m...
AMBROSE BIERCE YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So...
AMBROSE BIERCE Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie...
AMBROSE BIERCE One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc...
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh...
AMBROSE BIERCE When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of...
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.
AMBROSE BIERCE ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci...
AMBROSE BIERCE LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s...
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
AMBROSE BIERCE Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai...
AMBROSE BIERCE Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
AMBROSE BIERCE Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the...
AMBROSE BIERCE Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ...
AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
AMBROSE BIERCE TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa...
AMBROSE BIERCE