We give the customers a copy of those test results and the unit is guaranteed for a year, just like the new one from a manufacturer.
Dave Harder
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DAVE BARRY Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.
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DAVE BARRY It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso...
DAVE BARRY The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.
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DAVE BRUBECK And that's actually the brunt of what we do is, people going straight from their workplace, stra...
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DAVE EGGERS The Left likes to think of itself as the bulwark of progressive liberal individualism, and yet it se...
DAVE BRAT Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
DAVE BARRY A standard sitcom... is a very standard idea, like these people falling in love and living with each...
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DAVE OBEY Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is th...
DAVE BARRY If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
DAVE BARRY The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes i...
DAVE BARRY I go to see some big shows of other bands, and I feel like I'm so bombarded and over-stimulated ...
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DAVE BARRY The waves of love roll throughout the Universe, and overflow in our hearts..
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As I stand facing the beauty of the never-ending Pacific Ocean, a late afte...
DAVE PELZER 'Breaking Bad' and 'The Shield' were planned right from the start so that their narr...
DAVE MORRIS I found there's a fairly blatant racism in America that's already there, and I don't thi...
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DAVE BARRY It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know ...
DAVE BARRY You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident."
DAVE BARRY Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
DAVE BARRY I'd take a nerf bullet for you.
DAVE BARRY What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
DAVE BARRY The first person who decided to say a word instead of throwing a rock can be considered the starter ...
DAVE BARRY It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have...
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DAVE BARRY Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
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DAVE BARRY Books have a unique way of stopping time in a particular moment and saying: Let’s not forget this.
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DAVE MATTHEWS Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see wi...
DAVE BARRY Can you imagine the reaction of a British tabloid newspaper if they found a small school in rural En...
DAVE GORMAN We have advantages. We have a cushion to fall back on. This is abundance. A luxury of place and time...
DAVE EGGERS How could I have been anyone other than me?
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DAVE PARNAS Don't get suckered in by the comments ... they can terribly be misleading.
DAVE STORER Giving half answers won't make the conversation half as long.
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DAVE BARRY A theme is a memory aid, it helps you through the presentation just as it also provides the thread o...
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DAVE BARRY Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.
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DAVE BARRY The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the ...
DAVE BARRY It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in...
DAVE BARRY In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went...
DAVE BARRY Although Golf was originally restricted to wealthy Protestants, today its open to anybody who owns h...
DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybo...
DAVE BERRY Anything done for the first time unleashes a demon.
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DAVE BARRY The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
DAVE BARRY A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer
DAVE BARRY It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mer...
DAVE BARRY Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the p...
DAVE BARRY The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they...
DAVE BARRY My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.
DAVE BARRY The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withst...
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DAVE BARRY The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.
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DAVE BARRY Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that h...
DAVE BARRY If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to sa...
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DAVE BARRY Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.
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DAVE BARRY Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organiza...
DAVE BARRY Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won...
DAVE BARRY Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
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DAVE BARRY One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a compute...
DAVE BARRY If you can't excell with talent, triumph with effort.
DAVE WEINBAUM People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with th...
DAVE BARRY Our environmental problems originate in the hubris of imagining ourselves as the central nervous sys...
DAVE FOREMAN Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see wit...
DAVE BARRY We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but ...
DAVE BARRY We are not meant to know everything, Mae. Did you ever think that perhaps our minds are delicately c...
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DAVE EGGERS It’s not that I’m not social. I’m social enough. But the tools you guys create actually manufa...
DAVE EGGERS Even in a country like the USA where fitness has become an obsession, most people exercising do not ...
DAVE WILSON Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, usi...
DAVE BARRY We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this i...
DAVE BARRY Life's real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up.
DAVE CHECKETT You can't choose what you're famous for in life.
DAVE KELLETT The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dic...
DAVE KELLETT A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple lea...
DAVE MEURER Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris...
DAVE BARRY The future is no place to place your better days.
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DAVE REICHERT It's all very boring to say that we get along great and all that and sometimes we mock up come a...
DAVE EDMUNDS To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.
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DAVE BARRY In terms of personalities - I don't care about the personalities, I want leadership that's i...
DAVE BRAT I became a war hero before going on to critical acclaim as a professional victim.
DAVE PELZER Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
DAVE BARRY When you please others in hopes of being accepted, you lose you self-worth in the process.
DAVE PELZER Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who re...
DAVE BARRY I work 338 days a year, 16 hours a day.
DAVE PELZER At a family's most difficult time, I want to make sure at a minimum that they have the very basi...
DAVE REICHERT It's tough to go to sleep at night, and I wake up after five hours because I feel like I'm w...
DAVE GROHL I taught myself how to play the guitar, I taught myself how to play the drums, and I kind of fake do...
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DAVE GROHL My mother was a public school teacher in Virginia, and we didn't have any money, we just survive...
DAVE GROHL Through Kurt I saw the beauty of minimalism and the importance of music that's stripped down.
DAVE GROHL Singing into a microphone and learning to play an instrument - learning to do your craft - that'...
DAVE GROHL My songwriting is like extending a hand to the listener.
DAVE GROHL I stopped doing drugs when I was 20. I was finished with drugs before Nirvana even started.
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DAVE GROHL I've experienced great things, I've experienced great tragedies. I've done almost everyt...
DAVE GROHL Wow, I get to wake up again? Ok. You have to make good with what you've got.
DAVE GROHL I think people should feel encouraged to be themselves.
DAVE GROHL When you're young, you're not afraid of what comes next. You're excited by it.
DAVE GROHL Your personal history is a part of what happens with your hands and your head as you play music.
DAVE GROHL When there's so much left to do, why spend your time focusing on things you've already done,...
DAVE GROHL There's always gonna be rock n' roll bands, there's always gonna be kids that love rock ...
DAVE GROHL If there's one thing I'm good at, it's gathering people together to do something fun.
DAVE GROHL Guilt is cancer. Guilt will confine you, torture you, destroy you as an artist. It's a black wal...
DAVE GROHL My children were taught at an early age how money works and that it comes from hard work. They'v...
DAVE RAMSEY You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
DAVE BARRY Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by...
DAVE BARRY I care about what the fans feel.
DAVE MUSTAINE One of my first records that I heard was 'Wish You Were Here' by Pink Floyd.
DAVE MUSTAINE I am interested in politics.
DAVE MUSTAINE I didn't like the way I was let go from Metallica.
DAVE MUSTAINE Penelope Spheeris is a wonderful lady.
DAVE MUSTAINE My mom and dad got divorced when I was very young, and growing up in a family where the head of the ...
DAVE MUSTAINE I've never believed in singing about Satan and thinking he's cool, because he's not.
DAVE MUSTAINE Well, the stuff that I liked growing up was AC/DC, Led Zeppelin, but I also liked the Beatles and gu...
DAVE MUSTAINE Playing live is basically just hyperactivity and a certain sense of enchantment that I deliver to th...
DAVE MUSTAINE