We had about 40,000 jokes sent in by people all over the world. Here is my favourite.

We're starting to realize that magicians have a lot of implicit know-ledge about how we perceive the world around us because they have to deceive us in terms of controlling attention, exploiting the assumptions we make when we do and don't notice a change in our environment. There is an enormous amount of really detailed instruction on how to perform magic. People are always blown away by how detailed a description you'll have.

Detroit's been the butt of a lot of jokes for 50 years. We want to introduce the world to the new Detroit.

ABC has told me that a sponsor has complained about my making anti-Nixon jokes. I would just like to say that I believe Mr. Nixon did his best to destroy this country.

Anybody whose mind is functioning at all can't be content with the way the world works.

What his research seems to be saying is that women are the laughers and men get the laughs.