We have two dogs, Mabel and Wolf, and three cats at home, Charlie, George and Chairman. We have two cats on our farm, Tom and Little Sister, two horses, and two mini horses, Hannah and Tricky. We also have two cows, Holy and Madonna. And those are only the animals we let sleep in our bed.
Ellen DeGeneres
Related I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES I used to have two brown-coloured cats, who were brother and sister, called Bonzo and Bonzetta. MINI GREY We only got three dogs and two cats from Louisiana. All have been adopted. The first-hand experience... DEBBIE ANDERSON If human lives be, for their very brevity, sweet, then beast lives are sweeter still... ISOBELLE CARMODY She is sugar, curiosity, and rain. E. LOCKHART I have two cats at home in Minnesota with my family. Beau and Skippy. RACHAEL LEIGH COOK There are two kinds of fidelity - that of dogs and that of cats; and you gentlemen, have the fidelit... NAPOLEON BONAPARTE Everything passes by, and we are left with just our memories BEN OAK The Brady Bunch: The Complete Fourth Season AND CITY Everybody wonders what happens after you die[Carrie] I'm too busy wondering who's dinging my car in... AND CITY Desperate Housewives. AND CITY I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it. AND CITY A stud is born! [Stanford] AND CITY Courtney (Showing Carrie her book cover): Let me talk you through it. Blurred background, aah, fast-... AND CITY It's such a tribute to my show. My show is so good. I feel so blessed to play such a strong characte... AND CITY You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suctio... AND CITY I don't believe in the Republican party or the Democratic party. I just believe in parties. [Samanth... AND CITY Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely ... AND CITY Honey, I've decided we're going to Louisiana. JILL AND We'll have to find new accommodation tonight, JILL AND None of these places, of course, are charging any rent, JILL AND And it means snapshots, because that's what all stories I write come down to; each is a snapshot of ... CAITLíN R. KIERNAN I prefer Hot Dogs over dogs and Kit Kats over cats anytime. At least these two are edible. SEYMOUR NIGHTWEAVER We have the power to build a new consensus, which rejects killing as a method for achieving results.... NATHAN WINOGRAD People tell me how great it must have been to ride horses and stuff. Well, do it for two days straig... ARTHUR SLADE We have a right to life, not on it. DANIEL MELGAçO I don't wear fur and I understand their cause. I am the biggest animal lover in the world. I hav... GISELE BUNDCHEN Mankind have angels and devils, this thing is called balance! DEYTH BANGER Why didn’t the others help you?” Daisy asked angrily, scrubbing the sleeve of her gown over her ... LISA KLEYPAS We know we have to play better at home, but overall we need to play better. We're going on a long ro... JEFF JILLSON I grew up in a home where animals were ever-present and often dominated our lives. There were always... JULIA GLASS We have to win our games at home with five of those last seven games on the road, ... We have to bea... RICHIE ADUBATO The Chairman likes you.” “Is that good?” “I never date anyone my cat doesn’t lik... CASSANDRA CLARE We have two horses in the race, one of them is going to win, ROSS PEROT Hip-hop deals with bragging and braggadocio, being boastful. It's always been about who's go... TWO CHAINZ My whole story is just about me having a second chance. TWO CHAINZ I enjoy being in control, having a lot of creative control. TWO CHAINZ To me, I'm the epitome of what a ghetto child is: I was raised by a single parent; I stayed in a... TWO CHAINZ I want to be a successful landlord. I like real estate. TWO CHAINZ I had incorrectly, for all of my adult life until 2008, believed the biggest voting myth that exists... TWO CHAINZ I wake up each and every day with a smile on my face knowing I get to do something musically. TWO CHAINZ In my 8th grade yearbook picture I had on 2 chains. TWO CHAINZ I can say sincerely, don't take your voice for granted. It is truly what makes us all equal. TWO CHAINZ Every unwanted animal ends up on my farm: alpacas and horses and dogs and cats and chickens and duck... SALMA HAYEK We had two freshmen, two sophomores and a junior on the floor at times tonight. At no point until th... JEFF QUACKENBUSH My two great loves are music and horses. BETTY BUCKLEY Look at our station. We have two shows our 5 p.m. newscast has two female co-anchors and our 5:30 p... BRIAN LAWLOR Look at our station. We have two shows — our 5 p.m. newscast has two female co-anchors and our 5:3... BRIAN LAWLOR Look at our station. We have two shows our 5 p.m. newscast has two female co-anchors and our 5:30... BRIAN LAWLOR Imagine you come upon a house painted brown. What color would you say the house was?" "Why brow... MEGAN CHANCE I've done 'Two Gentlemen of Verona,' I've understudied Iago in 'Othello.' I&... ROBERT ENGLUND Before moving to Utah, she raised dachshunds and Shetland ponies at the family home on Jackson Stree... ALICE GILBORN Before moving to Utah, she raised dachshunds and Shetland ponies at the family home on Jackson Stree... ALICE GILBORN We had our two and three hitters on three times. But, we either missed a sign or made a mental mista... JOSH LUCAS We should have a dozen calves from those top two cows. DON ZILVERBERG You can flip a coin but Schrodinger's pet cat will still be in that box. SCOTT EDWARD SHJEFTE I have a family and two cats; I get up with my kids early in the morning. VANNA WHITE Splendid,' Abbé Patin said with a sheepish grin, pulling up alongside. 'There is nothing quite so t... SANDRA GULLAND I have two Iceland horses, a very hairy dog called Looney, and a guinea pig. CORNELIA FUNKE Our rug and furniture divisions have two separate sales organizations, so we have chosen to showcase... ARASH YARAGHI My family and I reside on a non-working farm, although we have a couple of horses and the usual stuf... AL JARDINE Horseracing and ranch horses are two different animals. You're getting race horses out and runni... DENNIS QUAID These two are outstanding hitters and that's our strength. When we pass well and play defense we win... JAY MITLO We have had two cows promised by two different groups. They are busy raising the money as we speak. ... JANET HEAP All I need is you even though I don't know if I can have you. FATMA ALFALASI If the voice was meant to be silent we wouldn't have ears for listening. VERONICA PURCELL We often think that when we have completed our study of one we know all about two, because "two" is ... SIR ARTHUR EDDINGTON In sixth and seventh grade, my two best friends and I pretended to be horses. Every day after school... TYNE DALY In secret we met - In silence I grieve, That thy heart could forget, Thy spirit deceive. If I should... GEORGE GORDON, LORD BYRON "WHEN WE TWO PARTED" After an unremitting and severe labour of two days, we returned to our old encampment with the loss ... WILLIAM HENRY ASHLEY We often think that when we have completed our study of one we know all about two, because 'two' is ... SIR ARTHUR EDDINGTON I don't believe there's two sides to every story. It's black and white. There's righ... JOE WURZELBACHER Look at our station. We have two shows  our 5 p.m. newscast has tw... BRIAN LAWLOR Two wins in two years and now we already have two wins this season. It's a beautiful thing. DAN NOBBS We have separate filtration systems so cats never smell the dogs and the dogs never smell the cats. MICHAEL GUARNIERI Her Majesty said she hoped I would have time for my horses - I own two and have shares in four. ALEX FERGUSON Our two-digit membership continues to carry on and do what we have to do. MARLAN WEBB We have more drivers than cockpits and we had only two possibilities, DIETRICH MATESCHITZ No two dogs are alike. And yet, all dogs have something in common that makes them dogs, and makes th... OLIVER MARKUS MALLOY Often at shelters, we hear, 'I told my child she could get a pet, but she will have to take care of ... CAROL GRIGLIONE We've got exactly what we need to fulfill our destiny! ABHISHEK KUMAR Let's concede that we have decided to let our children grow up in two separate nations, and lead two... JONATHAN KOZOL I appreciate the fact that you have one redeeming quality, Jack, but that is all it is. Just a hint ... K.A. LINDE I'm gutted. We took the game to them and should have been two or three up at the break but they surv... DAVE SKEWS I had an unhealthy obsession with 'Only Fools and Horses.' I still have to watch an episode ... JACK LOWDEN We definitely picked up the quality of our play in games two and three. DON SHAW We have been working on this issue for two years and have seen very little progress, HENRY BONILLA With our owners short of a permit or two to race their horses in Singapore and Hong Kong, we can rac... BRUCE WALLACE Why may we not be in the universe, as our dogs and cats are in our drawingrooms and libraries? WILLIAM JAMES So, I have my own horse and two ponies. I grew up around horses, and that really is my passion. KATE UPTON We played unselfish and we played hard. Those are two very good attributes to have in a game. JIM FOSTER We have tears in our eyes As we wave our goodbyes, We so loved being with you, we three. ROALD DAHL We have four still going, two on the front side and two on the back. We can't stop there. We have a ... BILL PLEIN We're in the hunt, there's no question. We have a very big game against Waterloo on Thursday, and we... MARK MAZZOLENI We are working with a limited pool of horses and it has taken its toll on our entries. Cutting back ... LOU RAFFETTO The real thing that keeps men and women apart, is fear. Women blame men and men blame women, but the... C. JOYBELL C. We are constantly testing and monitoring our two sites, GARY KING We have three students from Metairie, La., and two students from Slidell, [La.]. BILL BERRY We also give discount coupons all year round with all of our dogs and cats that are adopted. HARRY WELLS We are very excited about breaking two records. Our goal was to break some school records. We wanted... JEANNE FLECK
More Ellen DeGeneres
I am saddened by how people treat one another and how we are so shut off from one another and how we... ELLEN DEGENERES I would love for the world to be happier. ELLEN DEGENERES I learned compassion from being discriminated against. Everything bad that's ever happened to me... ELLEN DEGENERES So many people prefer to live in drama because it's comfortable. It's like someone staying i... ELLEN DEGENERES If you're going to be honest with yourself, you have to admit that you go into show business wan... ELLEN DEGENERES The world is full of a lot of fear and a lot of negativity, and a lot of judgment. I just think peop... ELLEN DEGENERES Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others. ELLEN DEGENERES And now I've got to explain the smell that was in there before I went in there. Does that ever happe... ELLEN DEGENERES Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you are. ELLEN DEGENERES The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens.... ELLEN DEGENERES I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I... ELLEN DEGENERES Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer. ELLEN DEGENERES I'm just saying we can all work on our manners. We can say please and thank you. We can be punctual.... ELLEN DEGENERES Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside - to have a big hear a... ELLEN DEGENERES Life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The thing everyone should reali... ELLEN DEGENERES It always helps to think about other people instead of ourselves. ELLEN DEGENERES If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you. ELLEN DEGENERES If your Birthday is on Christmas day and you're not Jesus, you should start telling people your birt... ELLEN DEGENERES You just have to keep driving down the road. It's going to bend and curve and you'll speed up and sl... ELLEN DEGENERES Haiku sounds like I'm Saying hi to someone named Ku. Hi, Ku. Hello. ELLEN DEGENERES Answers to Frequently Asked Questions: Yes. Yes. No. One time in high school. ELLEN DEGENERES Contribute to the world. Help people. Help one person. Help someone cross the street today. Help som... ELLEN DEGENERES Now,I'm no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim thr... ELLEN DEGENERES The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yours... ELLEN DEGENERES So be who you really are. Embrace who you are. Literally. Hug yourself. Accept who you are. Unless y... ELLEN DEGENERES Who's to say what's better or worse anyway? Who's to even say what's normal or average? We're all di... ELLEN DEGENERES Our flaws are what makes us human. If we can accept them as part of who we are, they really don't ev... ELLEN DEGENERES Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn't enough. You also ha... ELLEN DEGENERES Way, way back in the day, like in the 1990s, if you wanted to tell everyone you ate waffles for brea... ELLEN DEGENERES I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clappin... ELLEN DEGENERES I personally like being unique. I like being my own person with my own style and my own opinions and... ELLEN DEGENERES It's failure that gives you the proper perspective on success. ELLEN DEGENERES It makes a big difference in your life when you stay positive. ELLEN DEGENERES Find out who you are and figure out what you believe in. Even if it's different from what your neigh... ELLEN DEGENERES What’s not so great is that all this technology is destroying our social skills. Not only have we ... ELLEN DEGENERES True beauty is not related to what color your hair is or what color your eyes are. True beauty is ab... ELLEN DEGENERES Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system. ELLEN DEGENERES When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when... ELLEN DEGENERES My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the c... ELLEN DEGENERES Laugh. Laugh as much as you can. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Keep doing it even if peo... ELLEN DEGENERES If you want to test cosmetics, why do it on some poor animal who hasn't done anything? They should u... ELLEN DEGENERES I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful ... ELLEN DEGENERES You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She... ELLEN DEGENERES I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, So... ELLEN DEGENERES Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. ELLEN DEGENERES I was in yoga the other day. I was in full lotus position. My chakras were all aligned. My mind is c... ELLEN DEGENERES Don't give advice. It will come back and bite you in the [butt]. Don't take anyone's advice. So, my ... ELLEN DEGENERES The reason I do what I do is because I was influenced by Steve Martin, by Woody Allen, by Bob Newhar... ELLEN DEGENERES The only thing I really recommend, if you're starting out in stand-up is to not try to copy anyb... ELLEN DEGENERES People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. ELLEN DEGENERES The stand up, everything was accidental. I never grew up and was the class clown and had to get the ... ELLEN DEGENERES People give me such a hard time because I don't wear dresses. What's that got to do with any... ELLEN DEGENERES My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and ... ELLEN DEGENERES Find out who you are and be that person. That's what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find... ELLEN DEGENERES I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beauti... ELLEN DEGENERES I don't pay attention to the number of birthdays. It's weird when I say I'm 53. It just ... ELLEN DEGENERES We focus so much on our differences, and that is creating, I think, a lot of chaos and negativity an... ELLEN DEGENERES Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log. ELLEN DEGENERES I think everybody should have the same anger towards the injustice that's happening and the hatr... ELLEN DEGENERES I have sadness in me. I have anger in me. I have heartbreak in me. ELLEN DEGENERES Whatever you define family as, family is just a part of belonging to something that takes care of yo... ELLEN DEGENERES We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. I definitely want to contribute to ... ELLEN DEGENERES I get those fleeting, beautiful moments of inner peace and stillness - and then the other 23 hours a... ELLEN DEGENERES If we're destroying our trees and destroying our environment and hurting animals and hurting one... ELLEN DEGENERES Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the w... ELLEN DEGENERES It's our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting. Are they... ELLEN DEGENERES Things will get easier, people's minds will change, and you should be alive to see it. ELLEN DEGENERES I just want to find somebody special, somebody that I click with. ELLEN DEGENERES I didn't grow up in a house - we moved a lot, and we always lived in apartments. But we looked a... ELLEN DEGENERES Right before I decided to come out, I went on a spiritual retreat called 'Changing the Inner Dia... ELLEN DEGENERES Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's j... ELLEN DEGENERES I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut. ELLEN DEGENERES I'm sure there's somebody out there who doesn't like Betty White because she's short... ELLEN DEGENERES I love kids. But that's such a big commitment. And it seems long-term. It seems like a commitmen... ELLEN DEGENERES I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about w... ELLEN DEGENERES I like being busy and juggling a lot of things at the same time. I get bored easily, so I need to do... ELLEN DEGENERES I work really hard at trying to see the big picture and not getting stuck in ego. I believe we'r... ELLEN DEGENERES I'm not an activist; I don't look for controversy. I'm not a political person, but I'... ELLEN DEGENERES My father was a first reader in the Christian Science Church, which is similar to being a preacher. ... ELLEN DEGENERES I became vegan because I saw footage of what really goes on in the slaughterhouses and on the dairy ... ELLEN DEGENERES Have you ever heard somebody sing some lyrics that you've never sung before, and you realize you've ... ELLEN DEGENERES I'm so unfamiliar with the gym, I call it James! ELLEN DEGENERES My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we d... ELLEN DEGENERES I do have ADD and in real life, I'm all over the place and can hardly focus. If we were talking ... ELLEN DEGENERES I still have the shirt I wore my first time on Johnny Carson's show. Only now I use it as a tabl... ELLEN DEGENERES You know, it's hard work to write a book. I can't tell you how many times I really get going on an i... ELLEN DEGENERES When I was younger I thought success was something different. I thought, " When I grow up, I want to... ELLEN DEGENERES You have to have funny faces and words, you can't just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I thi... ELLEN DEGENERES What you look like on the outside is not what makes you cool at all. I mean, I had a mullet and wore... ELLEN DEGENERES I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe ... ELLEN DEGENERES The way I see it... If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you're doing, then your brain ... ELLEN DEGENERES Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm ... ELLEN DEGENERES The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was noone on... ELLEN DEGENERES Sometimes when I am driving I get so angry at inconsiderate drivers that I want to scream at them. B... ELLEN DEGENERES I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. For one thing, there's morning sickness. If I... ELLEN DEGENERES They say you just stand over there, he'll say thank you and you walk back off and that's what I thou... ELLEN DEGENERES In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was s... ELLEN DEGENERES Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it's worse when they are wearing dark glasses and ha... ELLEN DEGENERES Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others. ELLEN DEGENERES Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off. ELLEN DEGENERES My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we d... ELLEN DEGENERES I was coming home from kindergarten--well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had ... ELLEN DEGENERES I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been ... ELLEN DEGENERES I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. I... ELLEN DEGENERES For me, it's that I contributed, ... That I'm on this planet doing some good and making people happy... ELLEN DEGENERES I didn't go to college at all, any college, and I'm not saying you wasted your time or money, but lo... ELLEN DEGENERES Life is like one big Mardi Gras. But instead of showing your boobs, show people your brain, and if t... ELLEN DEGENERES Some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most. ELLEN DEGENERES Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow someone else's path unless you're in the wo... ELLEN DEGENERES People love gossip. It's the biggest thing that keeps the entertainment industry going. ELLEN DEGENERES And we certainly don't have full conversations on cellphones. You know? Usually the reception is so ... ELLEN DEGENERES "I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. ... ELLEN DEGENERES I just feel like every kid is growing up too fast and they're seeing too much. Everything is abo... ELLEN DEGENERES I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had... ELLEN DEGENERES its like picking your least favorite color of the rainbow ELLEN DEGENERES I have a great career, and I have wonderful fans who really are supportive and loyal - because I'... ELLEN DEGENERES Our egos tells us we're the only ones that have any kind of feelings. We're the only ones with a rel... ELLEN DEGENERES People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. ELLEN DEGENERES And be sure to look for me next month when I host the North Korean Peoples Choice Awards. ELLEN DEGENERES We've quit our agents, let go of our publicist. We're selling our house and leaving town. ELLEN DEGENERES Soap Talk. ELLEN DEGENERES There are a million people who are refugees, ... Life goes on, and if it didn't impact you directly,... ELLEN DEGENERES [I went to a] coffee shop here and the smallest coffee is a tall... "I need a coffee with a side of ... ELLEN DEGENERES I didn't want the Web site to be impersonal and I wanted to interact with people, ... The hammer and... ELLEN DEGENERES "Here's the analogy. If my body were a car, I'd be thinking about trading it in around now. I would ... ELLEN DEGENERES Oh she tripped?....Nooo, she's running. I thought she tripped but she's running. She stopped running... ELLEN DEGENERES Friends will write me letters. They run out of room on the front of the letter. They write 'over' on... ELLEN DEGENERES [Golden eagles have an interesting way of mating, where they connect in the air while flying at eigh... ELLEN DEGENERES I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just like... ELLEN DEGENERES I collect old portraits. They're all just interesting pictures of people, and you just kind of w... ELLEN DEGENERES Faith is part of who I am, yes. I was raised Christian Scientist. The most important thing I saw eve... ELLEN DEGENERES I do fantasize about having my own shop one day. ELLEN DEGENERES But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's g... ELLEN DEGENERES Just go up to somebody on the street and say "You're it!" and just run away. ELLEN DEGENERES In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. The... ELLEN DEGENERES If we're destroying our trees and destroying our environment and hurting animals and hurting one... ELLEN DEGENERES ...if you want to add a little spice to your life, plant some dill. And learn to salsa. ELLEN DEGENERES I'm a lesbian, an Aquarian, and a vegetarian. ELLEN DEGENERES I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He's... ELLEN DEGENERES When we were growing up our parents somehow made it clear that being famous was good. And I mistaken... ELLEN DEGENERES Dan: 'Ah, well, I hope this didn't have anything to do with me.' Ellen: 'No, not unless y... ELLEN DEGENERES My aunt has lost everything, she has nothing. She grabbed four pictures out of her house. She's lost... ELLEN DEGENERES My dad is still Christian Scientist. My mom's not, and I'm not. But I believe in God, and th... ELLEN DEGENERES Procrastinate now, don't put it off. ELLEN DEGENERES "I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises." ELLEN DEGENERES "I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just lik... ELLEN DEGENERES I'm probably the most honest person you'll ever meet - to a fault, like, I-will-hurt-your-fe... ELLEN DEGENERES Hosting the Oscars is pretty much the scariest thing you can do. To me, this is right up there with ... ELLEN DEGENERES I would say 'no'! It's such a thankless job. If you do great, nobody mentions it. If you don't, ever... ELLEN DEGENERES I think I let go of the need for approval, ELLEN DEGENERES I think I let go of the need for approval, ... It certainly feels good when you get it, but I used t... ELLEN DEGENERES But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's get o... ELLEN DEGENERES "I see those picketers, and I think you know, if I weren't a loving, non-violent, spiritual person, ... ELLEN DEGENERES The sixties were when hallucinogenic drugs were really, really big. And I don't think it's a coincid... ELLEN DEGENERES "I swear if Colgate comes out with one more type of toothepaste. I just want clean teeth that's all ... ELLEN DEGENERES Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called ... ELLEN DEGENERES You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me be... ELLEN DEGENERES The problem with labels is that they lead to stereotypes and stereotypes lead to generalizations and... ELLEN DEGENERES I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had... ELLEN DEGENERES Don't hold onto things, it will only bring you pain. ELLEN DEGENERES That's what life is all about. There's a lot of crying. So you'd better cry now and get used to it. ELLEN DEGENERES The only way a no-legged leopard could hurt you is if it fell out of a tree onto your head. ELLEN DEGENERES I still get scared at night. Every tiny creak, every little noise, I open my eyes real wide and list... ELLEN DEGENERES [• Ellen DeGeneres , who was praised for her graceful performance as host of the Emmy Awards that ... ELLEN DEGENERES We'll go see some theater, and we'll hang out and do some stuff there. We'll go to clubs, ... Ellen ... ELLEN DEGENERES I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, ''... ELLEN DEGENERES I feel sorry for the newscasters you know? We can turn it off. But that's their job and they have to... ELLEN DEGENERES "I'm feeling so good. I feel like a million bucks. I'm focused, I'm alert, I'm zippy and top of my g... ELLEN DEGENERES Come on, if you don't win tonight it doesn't mean you're not a good person, it just means you're not... ELLEN DEGENERES You know me. Any excuse to put on a dress. ELLEN DEGENERES "I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises." ELLEN DEGENERES I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, ... ELLEN DEGENERES Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that... ELLEN DEGENERES Hello?..Oh, hi Tom. Ooh, I've been dying to see that movie...Mmm no, I just opened up some yogurt. I... ELLEN DEGENERES It's definitely a heterosexual feeling, but it's directed at you. ELLEN DEGENERES Yeah [I'm thirty-six], but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old w... ELLEN DEGENERES I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from...... ELLEN DEGENERES Trying to get the talk show, looking back on it, we had to beg a lot of station managers to pick up ... ELLEN DEGENERES The first house I bought was a little Spanish bungalow on Clinton Street in West Hollywood, right be... ELLEN DEGENERES I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave ... ELLEN DEGENERES It's not like I grew up playing pranks on people, and I was not that girl in school. ELLEN DEGENERES I just like observing people - it's something I've done ever since I was a kid, and I got re... ELLEN DEGENERES Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year... ELLEN DEGENERES Anne wrote it for me and directed, so I was stuck with it, ... We always got along. It's almost gros... ELLEN DEGENERES New Orleans is my hometown, and our thoughts and prayers go out to everyone affected. ELLEN DEGENERES I've been trying to find women writers for my staff for a while now and I have three women on my... ELLEN DEGENERES In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There w... ELLEN DEGENERES I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot. I've started a record label, so I get to nurture new ... ELLEN DEGENERES I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day. ELLEN DEGENERES I've moved about 10 times over the past 15 years. I don't move for the sole purpose of getti... ELLEN DEGENERES The first time probably people really were aware of me, I unfortunately had the title of Showtime... ELLEN DEGENERES Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses,... ELLEN DEGENERES Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. It is the universe's way of saying stop, slo... ELLEN DEGENERES Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen ... ELLEN DEGENERES Our attention span is shot. We've all got Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD or OCD or one of these d... ELLEN DEGENERES You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She... ELLEN DEGENERES I would love to have the same rights as everybody else. I would love, I don't care if it's c... ELLEN DEGENERES I'm grateful for everything. I'm grateful for my health, and I'm so grateful for the lov... ELLEN DEGENERES I say always follow your passion, no matter what, because even if it's not the same financial su... ELLEN DEGENERES There would be nothing to get me to run for president. I don't even understand how anyone would ... ELLEN DEGENERES