We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about any wacky thing they tell us, especially if it involves outer space.

And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By they I mean computers: I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.

There are a lot of smart people, such as scientists and researchers, in Michigan without jobs that need to partner with an entrepreneur in order to rebuild the economy.

Master Li, how are we going to murder a man who laughs at axes?" I asked.

We are going to experiment, dear boy. Our first order of business will be to find a deranged alchemist, which should not be very difficult. China," said Master Li, "is overstocked with deranged alchemists.