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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.

Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield

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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
— Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
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With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
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My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
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I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.
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