FastSaying

We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi.


Woody Allen

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We were married by a reformed rabi in Long Island. A very reformed rabi, a Nazi.
WOODY ALLEN My brothers were rabbis. My grandfather was a rabbi.
SAUL LEITER If Woody Allen were a Muslim, he'd be dead by now.
SALMAN RUSHDIE If Woody Allen were a Muslim, he'd be dead by now.
SALMAN RUSHDIE The first money memory that many of us have as children is finding a coin on the street, in the park...
CELSO CUKIERKORN Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
FRAN LEBOWITZ I went through a little hippy dippy program at Brandeis and was bat mizvahed by the rabbi who marrie...
ARI GRAYNOR An Internal Revenue inspector walks into a synagogue and asks to see the rabbi. He is shown to the r...
UNKNOWN In typical Washington fashion, nothing gets reformed until a disaster happens.
RONALD KESSLER 'Rabbi' means 'teacher,' and I see the role of chief rabbi as chief teacher.
EPHRAIM MIRVIS He is, in our view, reformed.
ALAN ROGERS The world always pays you less than you are worth. Don't sell yourself short even further.
CELSO CUKIERKORN I'm a writer and director, and the movie I've seen a million times is 'Stardust Memories...
ROMAN COPPOLA Rabbi, the great Teacher, Jesus Christ.
LAIAH GIFTY AKITA Rabbi, the Sacred Teacher, Jesus Christ.
LAILAH GIFTY AKITA I think Woody Allen is Woody Allen, and no matter where he goes he still makes his Woody Allen films...
ABBAS KIAROSTAMI I feel very privileged indeed to be appointed to be the next Chief Rabbi.
EPHRAIM MIRVIS Led Zeppelin would never have reformed if he or Jimmy Page were bald.
PAUL WELLER My influences were Woody Allen and Lenny Bruce.
DAVID STEINBERG I used to be a lawyer, but now I am a reformed character.
WOODROW WILSON We are under the Dallas Kosher and a Rabbi comes every two days to check our products.
RACHEL DAVID My parents are definitely reformed hippies.
ALISON BRIE It is said that in some countries trees will grow, but will bear no fruit because there is no winter...
JOHN BUNYAN Do you feel loved by God because you believe he makes much of you, or because you believe he frees y...
JOHN PIPER It is better to lose your life than to waste it.
JOHN PIPER Fight for us, O God, that we not drift numb and blind and foolish into vain and empty excitements. L...
JOHN PIPER Christ did not die to forgive sinners who go on treasuring anything above seeing and savoring God. A...
JOHN PIPER I wanted to be a soccer player. And then I wanted to be a rabbi.
JAKE EPSTEIN Today, we are the only people who are more likely to own a professional sports team than to play for...
CELSO CUKIERKORN I want a priest, a rabbi, and a Protestant clergyman. I want to hedge my bets.
WILSON MIZNER Had it not been replenished or reformed by the governor, we would not have been able to proceed.
DAN STESSEL How can a rabbi not live with doubt? The Bible itself is a book of doubt.
ARTHUR HERTZBERG The only thing operating on me was my God-given renewing body and his miraculous healing foods.
CELSO CUKIERKORN We Jews created the concept of good luck. Luck in Hebrew is mazel, which is not actually a word. It ...
CELSO CUKIERKORN I have ended as a Reform Rabbi, grateful to Christianity for so many good things.
LIONEL BLUE Woody Allen is a great dramatist and a great comedian.
CATE BLANCHETT The unwounded life bears no resemblance to the Rabbi.
BRENNAN MANNING I was born in Jerusalem with a religious background and a rabbi as a father... it was rather poor, b...
ADA YONATH To what a bad choice is many a worthy woman betrayed, by that false and inconsiderate notion, That a...
SAMUEL RICHARDSON People go on about places like Starbucks being unpersonal and all that, but what if that's what you ...
NICK HORNBY Imagine life as a game, a game that is filled with obstacles and hazards to overcome but sometimes y...
GARY F EVANS... One's ideas must be as broad as Nature if they are to interpret Nature
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE Gundar isn't so much a ship's captain as a reformed pirate and a heathen." [Evanlyn] looked apologet...
JOHN FLANAGAN When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing w...
A.A. MILNE Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and s...
CARTER CROCKER Character is another thing that is formed in youth and reformed in marriage.
SOURCE UNKNOWN together we will work towards achieving this noble mission with a strong, reformed and revitalized U...
YAHYA JAMMEH The key to every man is his thought. He can only be reformed by showing him a new idea which command...
RALPH WALDO EMERSON The key to every man is his thought.... He can only be reformed by showing him a new idea which comm...
RALPH WALDO EMERSON She was what a rabbi ought to be -- a great teacher. She enriched the lives of everyone around her.
RICHARD COHEN A country which is more democratic and more reformed in its economy is apt to find its sovereignty s...
DANIEL FRIED An aged rabbi, crazed with liberalism, once said to me, We Jews are just ordinary human beings. Only...
LIONEL BLUE What we need are not prohibitory marriage laws, but a reformed society, an educated public opinion w...
ALFRED RUSSEL WALLACE God is the highest good of the reasonable creature. The enjoyment of him is our proper; and is the o...
JONATHAN EDWARDS Missions is not the ultimate goal of the church. Worship is. Missions exists because worship doesn't...
JOHN PIPER The gospel brings tidings, glad tidings indeed,
To mourners in Zion, who want to be freed,
WILLIAM GADSBY God is pursuing with omnipotent passion a worldwide purpose of gathering joyful worshipers for Himse...
JOHN PIPER My father was a rabbi and had a little synagogue in Canada, so I'm from Canada. I left there at ...
DAVID STEINBERG It is in my heart that I believe most strongly that our future is within a reformed E.U. - not least...
ANDREW LANSLEY If you follow these simple truths, you will gain control over your financial future, and probably be...
CELSO CUKIERKORN Some of us aim at being good
I prefer to aim at being better
CELSO CUKIERKORN This is not a question of one man, but of an institution that needs to be reformed.
GUIDO TABELLINI Who are you, Woody Allen?
JOY BEHAR My parents were Zionists born in Poland. My father was a rabbi who didn't know much about scienc...
ADA YONATH If I told you that God speaks to us through our urges so long as these are safe and proper and total...
FRANCISCO X. STORK ‎"With each experience we grow and become more aware of the inner beauty that lies within us. Ulti...
RABBI YOSSI In the end of the day it matters much more how wise you spent your money than how much of it you hav...
CELSO CUKIERKORN If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live wi...
JOAN POWERS Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?'
'Supposing it didn't,' said Pooh...
A.A. MILNE How lucky I am to have known somebody and something that saying goodbye to is so damned awful.
EVANS G. VALENS By the side of the everlasting Why there is a Yes--a transitory Yes if you like, but a Yes.
E.M. FORSTER We incline, therefore, to think the parishes should be equal or near, because in the reformed religi...
WILLIAM PETTY How do you know about the world is real?...
How?...
How you don't think that you are locke...
DEYTH BANGER I definitely have a little Woody Allen inside of me. That is true.
AUTRE NE VEUT Education is a reformed state of mind whereby the whole activities of man conforms with that of perf...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) We each have a special something we can get only at a special time of our life. like a small flame. ...
HARUKI MURAKAMI Allie, what do the Stars tell me to do? You know I don't understand the scientific part.
ROBERT A. HEINLEIN The capacity of humans to believe in what seems to me highly improbable- from table tapping to the s...
ROBERT A. HEINLEIN It is strange being in a crowd where no one knows your face or cares for your purpose. In Lykos, I w...
PIERCE BROWN Voter apathy is a civic abdication.
CHARLES M. BLOW Reagan was president and had Democrats control the House and Senate, and they reformed the tax code....
KEVIN MCCARTHY Most people in this society who aren't actively mad are, at best, reformed or potential lunatics.
SUSAN SONTAG It was kind of scary because working with Woody Allen becomes sort of a big deal in your mind. He di...
RADHA MITCHELL Come on people! Somebody disagree with me! How can we learn anything if no one will disagree?" Rabbi...
ATHOL DICKSON He calls himself a reformed person who used to think that work had to take place at work at a specif...
KATHLEEN KELLEY Woody Allen sets are very quiet. Extraordinary sense of power from a man who doesn't do anything...
F. MURRAY ABRAHAM Unsubscribe from should-a, would-a, could-a
MICHAEL H. DANSBURY A successful teacher is one who has atleast 2 students in his class, one who sees no reason to study...
APURVA GAGLANI Once, [Rabbi Chanoch] Teller was traveling with 16 of his [18] offspring ... while changing planes i...
LYNN VINCENT Be a pattern to others, and then all will go well; for as a whole city is affected by the licentiou...
THOMAS CARLYLE I'm on record as being understood to be a supporter of a reformed establishment, in which other ...
GEORGE CAREY This regime cannot be reformed, so there is nothing left but to oust it.
ABDEL HALIM KHADDAM Rabbi Hiyya advised his wife, “When a poor man comes to the door, be quick to give him food so tha...
JOSEPH TELUSHKIN I would love to have a long and serious conversation with the Pope. And Woody Allen, whom I have nev...
CHARLIE ROSE Most people in this society who aren't actively mad are, at best, reformed or potential lunatics...
SUSAN SONTAG A godmother is always there and genuine.The help she has given will never be forgotten but will glis...
GARY F EVANS... If tomorrow was yesterday then yesterday would be tomorrow, if we think about the past why not think...
GARY F EVANS... Start seeing a way for yourself. Stop seeing a way for others.
APURVA GAGLANI and the girl and I get into her car and drive off into the hills and we go to her room and I take of...
BRET EASTON ELLIS But nothing beats a Woody Allen film on a Sunday night, with a glass of wine and some leftovers.
KATE FLEETWOOD

More Woody Allen

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
WOODY ALLEN Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and pot...
WOODY ALLEN I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
WOODY ALLEN If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very in...
WOODY ALLEN What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
WOODY ALLEN There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman...
WOODY ALLEN God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. . . I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to m...
WOODY ALLEN There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and w...
WOODY ALLEN Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'
WOODY ALLEN Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any
WOODY ALLEN sex is simple, love stings afterwards.
WOODY ALLEN If it wasn't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk.
WOODY ALLEN I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
WOODY ALLEN Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
WOODY ALLEN What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jum...
WOODY ALLEN You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?
WOODY ALLEN You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
WOODY ALLEN It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
WOODY ALLEN The decision to decide is a decision in itself.
WOODY ALLEN One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, tha...
WOODY ALLEN Growing up is amazing, until you get old!
WOODY ALLEN All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white...
WOODY ALLEN If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!
WOODY ALLEN I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
WOODY ALLEN The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
WOODY ALLEN I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
WOODY ALLEN In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Th...
WOODY ALLEN Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that y...
WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -...
WOODY ALLEN If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
WOODY ALLEN In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and...
WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
WOODY ALLEN It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked...
WOODY ALLEN For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermu...
WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..
WOODY ALLEN Marriage is the death of hope.
WOODY ALLEN Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
WOODY ALLEN I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I...
WOODY ALLEN I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN I am at two with nature.
WOODY ALLEN Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
WOODY ALLEN I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the ba...
WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead.
WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
WOODY ALLEN Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to ...
WOODY ALLEN More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and ut...
WOODY ALLEN A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. An...
WOODY ALLEN Eighty percent of success is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy...
WOODY ALLEN I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
WOODY ALLEN Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exc...
WOODY ALLEN A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
WOODY ALLEN It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is ...
WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me
WOODY ALLEN To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. ...
WOODY ALLEN Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex an...
WOODY ALLEN What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
WOODY ALLEN How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.
WOODY ALLEN Innovation is the ability to see change as an opportunity - not a threat
WOODY ALLEN Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
WOODY ALLEN Eternity is really long, especially near the end
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
WOODY ALLEN Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
WOODY ALLEN If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take tw...
WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions
WOODY ALLEN A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight ...
WOODY ALLEN The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
WOODY ALLEN The best way to find your perfect match is to meet love halfway.
WOODY ALLEN There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem t...
WOODY ALLEN Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on offi...
WOODY ALLEN To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they f...
WOODY ALLEN Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad o...
WOODY ALLEN Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, 'Be fruitful, and multiply'. But not in t...
WOODY ALLEN Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
WOODY ALLEN To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to fin...
WOODY ALLEN I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
WOODY ALLEN Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty da...
WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boa...
WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure ou...
WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't h...
WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
WOODY ALLEN I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
WOODY ALLEN Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
WOODY ALLEN My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make fi...
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the bo...
WOODY ALLEN It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job
WOODY ALLEN It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence, so why bother shaving?
WOODY ALLEN Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
WOODY ALLEN The wicked at heart probably know something.
WOODY ALLEN My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately?
WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job.
WOODY ALLEN Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead- not sick, not wounded - dead.
WOODY ALLEN For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath ...
WOODY ALLEN The only difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to m...
WOODY ALLEN Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat...
WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought--...
WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say ab...
WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way aroun...
WOODY ALLEN I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
WOODY ALLEN How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
WOODY ALLEN How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typ...
WOODY ALLEN His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
WOODY ALLEN Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to g...
WOODY ALLEN Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be ther...
WOODY ALLEN More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter...
WOODY ALLEN You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundre...
WOODY ALLEN Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
WOODY ALLEN When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
WOODY ALLEN Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverag...
WOODY ALLEN The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get y...
WOODY ALLEN Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
WOODY ALLEN Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
WOODY ALLEN My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
WOODY ALLEN Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN A ''Bay Area Bisexual'' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declare...
WOODY ALLEN The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.
WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants
WOODY ALLEN I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
WOODY ALLEN Everytime I hear Wagner I feel like invading Poland.
WOODY ALLEN She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could ca...
WOODY ALLEN My brain? That´s my second favourite organ.
WOODY ALLEN I think any boycott is wrong, ... Boycotts were exactly what the Germans were doing against the Jews...
WOODY ALLEN Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you ca...
WOODY ALLEN Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to ge...
WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says...
WOODY ALLEN I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horr...
WOODY ALLEN If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
WOODY ALLEN I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones
slept better, [Cloquet...
WOODY ALLEN Subjectivity is objective.
WOODY ALLEN The most expensive sex is free sex
WOODY ALLEN These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you....
WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blow...
WOODY ALLEN We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.
WOODY ALLEN I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
WOODY ALLEN Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
WOODY ALLEN You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The parad...
WOODY ALLEN This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The...
WOODY ALLEN The heart wants what it wants.
WOODY ALLEN We're all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions, moral choices. Some are on a grand sc...
WOODY ALLEN Chapter 1.
He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion...no, make t...
WOODY ALLEN My brain? That's my second favorite organ.
WOODY ALLEN