FastSaying

We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff.


Matt Groening

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STEVEN WRIGHT Are you taking us to the beach?" - Dan Cahill
JUDE WATSON Let's head out to the ruins." - Dan Cahill
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JASON WOLINER It's like that Simpsons joke - they're filming a cow in a movie and they go, 'OK, we'...
IAN WILLIAMS Sixty percent of all Indians live in urban areas, but nobody's writing about them. They're r...
SHERMAN ALEXIE Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't kn...
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NIKKI SIXX It's like someone cutting up a loved one in front of you, all the time insisting they've got...
MALCOLM WILSON I do think there are some actors that can get away with trying to be funny, and they're still fu...
CONSTANCE WU A squirrel attacked me. I got attacked by a squirrel in Battersea Park. They're dangerous. It...
NIALL HORAN I really like funny women. I'm drawn to women like Tina Fey and Amy Poehler and Kristen Wiig, Am...
ZOE FOSTER BLAKE Actually, the funny thing is, after all these years, I've got all these new songs to learn for t...
LESLEY GORE With the stand-up comic on TV, whether it's Seinfeld or Cosby or Roseanne, more important than t...
BOB NEWHART It's also that comedians don't have the kind of narcissism that actors have. They're wri...
RACHEL WEISZ I've heard people tell me there's never been a gay character like Agron on TV before, and so...
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JUDE WATSON I grew up watching a lot of stuff, like 'Teen Titans.'
JEREMY SHADA I've got a bunch of books... I rely on funny books and movies to cheer me up. Oh, but I must say...
WENDI MCLENDON-COVEY How come liberals never admit that they're liberal? They've now come up with a new word call...
MARCO RUBIO I think it's all about the people who listen to your music, and loving playing and writing. Once...
GABRIELLE APLIN I've got some incredible fans actually - so loyal and they make me birthday cards and Christmas ...
FLORENCE WELCH I think writers have to be proactive: they've got to use new technology and social media. Yes, i...
IAN RANKIN I've had some people tell me they're glad I'm a normal girl. Of course I'm a normal ...
KATIE FEATHERSTON I know it's a cliche, but the whole family is just whacked. I mean, we're all out of our min...
DANA CARVEY The majority of my family is Auburn fans, and I grew up watching Auburn football, and that's alw...
KATHERINE WEBB Funny enough, if you are looking at people these days who are putting Botox in their face and gettin...
GUY PEARCE I think it's great to see how they've grown up, not just as actors but as people. They'r...
DAVID HEYMAN As a comedian, I don't know if they're laughing because it's funny or if they're lau...
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BOB COLACELLO It SMELLS ancient," - Dan Cahill
JUDE WATSON Palm trees were fanned by a warm, light breeze, and they rolled down their windows to smell the sea.
JUDE WATSON I've ended up on some website list or some other list for super right-wing people. They've b...
JACK ANTONOFF Our generation grew up with technology. It evolved as we grew up. This new generation has had it sin...
BRIT MORIN It's funny: most people who recognize me on the subway and stuff - it's much more they think...
PAUL GIAMATTI There's this idea that it has to be made in London. But we've got everything up here, and if...
JOHNNY VEGAS It's a funny show. The characters are surprisingly likable, given how ugly they are. We've g...
MATT GROENING Films are big hits when they touch a lot of people. Things are not funny in a vacuum, they're fu...
HAROLD RAMIS Right now we're working on finishing up Pirates! for the Xbox, we're developing Civilization...
SID MEIER I've become President of the Author's Guild, and, in part because they thought I had to know...
SCOTT TUROW Most people who end up being successful have good grades, but it's orthogonal - there's no e...
GABE NEWELL When you think back in history about producers and artists or writers who've had good synergy, a...
SOLANGE KNOWLES 'American Playhouse' is very supportive of writers. That's really why writers like to wr...
TERRENCE MCNALLY I mean I like pop music, and I like heavy music and, stuff that I like... the band I've signed o...
JAMES IHA It's a fun job, but it's stressful because you have to be funny. You have to have punch line...
STEVE BREEN I think physical comedy is an amazing asset because it tells a story that's more universal than ...
JOSH GAD Well, we're about 24 million subscribers today, and that's up from about 15 million a year a...
REED HASTINGS We have a lot of American TV in Australia. I grew up watching 'Seinfeld,' 'The Simpsons&...
SARAH SNOOK My oldest son always wants to race. He's kind of like me and it now has carried over to the othe...
STEVE BLAKE Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people abou...
KARL PILKINGTON All the writing elements are the same. You need to tell a good story... You've got good characte...
SUZANNE COLLINS I'm still a big 'Grey's Anatomy' fan.
BROOKE ELLIOTT I used to watch 'Grey's Anatomy' pretty religiously.
ERINN HAYES You know, we were worried that in the UK, there's no anarchy on kids TV. When we grew up kids TV...
DAVE ROWNTREE They've also asked me now to start on another series that we're gonna do after this Frontier...
BRUCE BOXLEITNER A lot of the stories I've read about myself, I don't even recognize who they're writing ...
SACHEEN LITTLEFEATHER I grew up watching 'Dawson's Creek,' and I started watching 'The Vampire Diaries'...
PHOEBE TONKIN I think the cartoons that they're children are watching, particularly 'The Simpsons,' th...
JERRY LEWIS It's a funny thing when you think you're dead. You're not terrified of it anymore. There...
DAVID LANGE There's an air of mystery around the Masons, but the reality is that they're mostly a bunch ...
JIMMY KIMMEL If you're thinking of coming to America, this is what it's like: you've got your Comfort...
JEREMY CLARKSON It's a question of keeping one's eyes and ears open and watching how other people play the g...
CHARLES DANCE About f-f-ace!" she said to the horse, flailing with her boots. "Into the barn, please. It's time fo...
PETER LERANGIS You see?" Damien leaned over his desk and spread out half a dozen charcoal sketches. "These are only...
RICK RIORDAN You've got to use your celebrity for good stuff, not evil. I think it's lame when people act...
RACHEL BILSON I think women have such rich emotional lives that they are expressive about. I also think they'r...
DARREN STAR On 'The Simpsons,' I will say that we definitely like to comment on what's going on in t...
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ELMORE LEONARD Basically, I grew up watching Carter girls on stage, watching my grandmother, my mom and my aunts pe...
CARLENE CARTER People know my lyrics; they know the stuff I've written, and it's all about life, love, happ...
KASKADE That's the difference between the NCAA and the NFL right now. They've got to step up and say...
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JOHN MADDEN I've been in very many situations where I've not liked the other members of the band or they...
JOHN LYDON In life, you're going to have a lot of problems. Everybody's got problems. Some is worse tha...
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YURI LOWENTHAL I'm not exactly watching my back. Most people, there's a twinkle when they admonish me. And ...
DAVID BRADLEY I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn'...
JIM CARREY But I can tell you that the New York that I see now is not the New York that we grew up in. It's...
TEA LEONI I've met a lot of jazz musicians in my day, and they're all funny.
TOMMY CHONG I'm always writing something. I've got so much stuff, I don't know what to do with it. S...
JULIAN CASABLANCAS When you're writing, you're only a brain and some fingers, but drumming, you're involvin...
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CARICE VAN HOUTEN I speak from a nerd's perspective because I've been watching anime since I was a kid. I grew...
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MATT GROENING Stop thinking about fun and have it”

Homer Simpson
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MATT BLUNT The spirit and determination of the people to chart their own destiny is the greatest power for good...
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MATT BLUNT If you're wearing suits and you want to create your own sense of style, get to the tailor.
MATT BOMER I like fishing as much when I don't catch anything as when I do.
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MATT DILLON Red notification bubbles on any icon, including mail, drive me crazy.
MATT MULLENWEG Oh, I think Janie Bryant is a genius. I mean, I think she changed menswear almost single-handedly wi...
MATT BOMER That's the way this business works: if your movies do well at the box office, you will be offere...
MATT DAMON Right before 'The Bourne Identity' came out, I hadn't been offered a movie in a year.
MATT DAMON Bond is part of the system. He's an imperialist and a misogynist, and he laughs at killing peopl...
MATT DAMON I have voted to make tough decisions in budgetary times, I've served on two recessionary budgets...
MATT GONZALEZ I was always taught that the first rule of bunker play is to just get the ball out. When you have a ...
MATT KUCHAR It would be lovely to live in a culture where calmness was the aim.
MATT HAIG I think we get too hung up on categories. Obviously, the book market has to categorise things, and i...
MATT HAIG What we have now is a situation where politicians get a whole bunch of money from mainly business in...
MATT TAIBBI Prosperity has brought complications. Our lives are busier, faster, more stressful. They're nost...
MATT RIDLEY I pretty much got busted for everything, but I definitely stretched out my boundaries as a kid, as w...
MATT BOMER The main thing that 99designs is about is choice. It's a fantastic model that eliminates risk fo...
MATT MICKIEWICZ If you've ever questioned your faith, you're going to question it when you are burying your ...
MATT BEVIN 'The Kids Are All Right' is amazing. The performances are insanely good. Julianne Moore is g...
MATT BOMER Understanding is curing ignorance and curing ignorance is abolishing fear.
MATT MARTY I've always been a guy that's liked a crowd and having people around cheering for me. I'...
MATT KUCHAR Teenagers are in some ways the best readers because their imaginations haven't been narrowed dow...
MATT HAIG I'm not Brad Pitt or George Clooney. Those guys walk into a room and the room changes. I think t...
MATT DAMON Two hundred years ago, industrialisation ruined the labour force. In the modern age, especially in t...
MATT BELLAMY If I wasn't an actor, I probably would've tried to get a job with the Braves.
MATT LANTER This administration will have no tolerance for the type of brazen disregard that Planned Parenthood ...
MATT BEVIN If you took away all pain, if everyone lived forever, everything would be bland, flat and boring; th...
MATT HAIG I felt cheated by the way grown-ups told me that the future of the world was bleak when I became a t...
MATT RIDLEY In a society governed passively by free markets and free elections, organized greed always defeats d...
MATT TAIBBI There are 100 million blogs in the world, and it's part of my job as the co-founder of WordPress...
MATT MULLENWEG When you look at things like Flickr and Youtube, they are specialised blogging systems, so why hasn&...
MATT MULLENWEG A group of adventurers is known as a "party," and not just because they like to celebrate their succ...
MATT FORBECK