Well I have a microphone and you don't so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!

My comedy is different every time I do it. I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

If you say you're going to do something, you better damn well do it.

I was raised by a mother who told me I was great every day of my life.

Well, we're living in a material world, and I'm a material girl... or boy.

When you're around the kids, you feel like you act the most grown up just because you're supposed to lead. I say things, like every other parent, that reminds you of your own parents. One thing I do know about being a parent, you understand why your father was in a bad mood a lot.