We're all dealing with mechanical systems that are subject to a lot of variables. We're not perfect ...
DAVE CAPLAN It is inconvenient, and we regret that, but it shouldn't last longer than a few more days.
DAVE CAPLAN We took tremendous damage from Hurricane Rita to our transmission system and those customers north o...
DAVE CAPLAN It's weird, It's really weird to be called a breakout star. And some people are referring to...
LIZZY CAPLAN There is one difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist -- the taxidermist leaves the hide...
MORTIMER CAPLAN Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
MORTIMER CAPLAN To succeed as a team is to hold all of the members accountable for their expertise.
MITCHELL CAPLAN When you're shooting a network television show it inevitably starts airing a few episodes in, an...
LIZZY CAPLAN I'm choosy to a fault. You want to hold out for a project that means something. You're the o...
LIZZY CAPLAN Research in the past has wound up abusing, harming or hurting people. You want to stick to these reg...
ARTHUR CAPLAN It was really a bone thrown out to conservatives who knew exactly what he meant. What they are conce...
ARTHUR CAPLAN Should we give away refrigerators? Sure. Trips? Yeah. Fur coats? Who cares. But when we turn the que...
ARTHUR CAPLAN I don't think it's unethical to have a wife volunteer to have a piece of her liver given to her chil...
ARTHUR CAPLAN There isn't much input from the public. I think there should be.
ARTHUR CAPLAN Anyone who thinks (a) there is adequate supervision of clinical trials or (b) clinical trials at Pha...
ARTHUR CAPLAN The more you start prohibiting donors, the more you are going to have less blood in the supply. It's...
ARTHUR CAPLAN If you exchange business ethics for medical ethics, this is the result. One prosecution for insider ...
ARTHUR CAPLAN It seems to me the number one vaccine policy question has as much to do with ethics as science.
ARTHUR CAPLAN Privacy drives the concern about these databases. People are fearful that information about genetics...
ARTHUR CAPLAN I think being mean to people in high school is healthy. It's sort of like you're in this sit...
LIZZY CAPLAN I find reality television to be so delectable.
LIZZY CAPLAN Play has been man's most useful preoccupation.
FRANK CAPLAN I think there's something very lovely and hilarious about exploring the particular neuroses of t...
LIZZY CAPLAN I was a Russian dancer in my elementary school production of 'Fiddler on the Roof' when I wa...
LIZZY CAPLAN There's definitely a luxury to the fluidity of not being a mega-star. I've done a ton of rea...
LIZZY CAPLAN I really fancied myself a comedic actress.
LIZZY CAPLAN This number shows that, perhaps, a corner has been turned.
ARTHUR CAPLAN I find that working with friends is always the goal, even if it's just one person. Because the c...
LIZZY CAPLAN Everybody hangs out with everybody, which is very strange for a cast this large and this young. We&#...
LIZZY CAPLAN There isn't a clear policy in place that would tell us how to allocate them, and we must assume most...
ARTHUR CAPLAN We kind of have to re-think what does it mean to be human, to have a life span. What does it mean to...
ARTHUR CAPLAN There will be more and more genetic testing, so sports has to come to terms with this issue.
ARTHUR CAPLAN Too many people feel like they're getting the runaround, so they're susceptible to books like this.
ARTHUR CAPLAN It's not enough to say 'I wasn't aware of it,' because you have a responsibility to know what's goin...
ARTHUR CAPLAN You can't buy a baby in the United States. ... But you can buy the sperm, you can buy the egg and yo...
ARTHUR CAPLAN It's hard to look back and remember how surprising and shocking that was -- that human beings can ac...
ARTHUR CAPLAN To me it means that the president?s policy is hypocritical and deceptive. It is not a secret that em...
ART CAPLAN Trying to hook a potential user of your drug by this type of questionnaire technique just strikes me...
ART CAPLAN To try this now would be crazy
ART CAPLAN When people say, 'I'm going to do something that's more dangerous to my health, more dangerous to my...
ART CAPLAN We don't know how to do this.
ART CAPLAN This procedure is just not safe.
ART CAPLAN We're going to create a lot of dead and sick children.
ART CAPLAN I am worried that what you're going to do is generate a disease rather than respond to a problem.
ART CAPLAN What I'm nervous about is, I don't want to set a precedent where a boss or any third party -- milita...
ART CAPLAN The favorite way for people to entertain is cookouts and barbecues.
BARBARA CAPLAN The favorite way for people to entertain is cookouts and barbecues,
BARBARA CAPLAN These are things that give you peace of mind and joy. We want to laugh. We want to revel in somethin...
BARBARA CAPLAN People feel like they've worked hard and they deserve it, ... It's important for our emotional well-...
BARBARA CAPLAN People love their homes more than they ever did,
BARBARA CAPLAN It's no surprise this dip in numbers would be greeted with joy by 'the commanders,' if you will, in ...
ARTHUR CAPLAN I think I get way too much credit for making what people consider to be smart choices, but it's ...
LIZZY CAPLAN In a useful conversation... there is a double coincidence of wants. You have to be interested in wha...
BRYAN CAPLAN 'Save the Date' feels like a quiet story about two sisters and the men in their lives, kind ...
LIZZY CAPLAN I don't think you should be allowed to eat in a restaurant if you haven't waited tables at l...
LIZZY CAPLAN I try to bring elements of my own personality to every character I've played, but I think I'...
LIZZY CAPLAN I try to find some similarities between myself and the characters, even if it's the tiniest thin...
LIZZY CAPLAN We are there to serve our subscribers, not serve them up.
CLAUDIA CAPLAN You'd be surprised. Girls like sensitive, namby-pamby guys.
LIZZY CAPLAN If I had a glass eye, I'd always do that-pop it out and put it in my mouth. Throw it at people. Why ...
LIZZY CAPLAN Don't peak in high school.
LIZZY CAPLAN I think being mean to people in high school is healthy. It's sort of like you're in this situation w...
LIZZY CAPLAN We've done educational kiosks, interactive games and video and multimedia systems for the Science Ce...
LISA CAPLAN Guardian Life Insurance Co. of America was our first client. We started out producing an annual ince...
LISA CAPLAN We will continue to actively pursue opportunities that enable us to further build out our distinct b...
MITCHELL CAPLAN Bodies aren't the same as Coca-Cola cans.
DR. ARTHUR CAPLAN They're going to have to come up with a sanction that is equivalent to the problem, and the problem ...
DR. ARTHUR CAPLAN When you're talking deaths in clinical trials, mistakes are not an option. It's just an area where w...
DR. ARTHUR CAPLAN The use of fetuses as organ and tissue donors is a ticking time bomb of bioethics.
DR. ARTHUR CAPLAN I do still get shocked every once in a while when I catch my reflection when I'm walking past a ...
DAVE MATTHEWS Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But...
DAVE ATTELL Everyone has a breaking point, turning point, stress point, the game is permeated with it. The fans ...
DAVE WINFIELD Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.
DAVE BARRY We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admi...
DAVE BARRY Instead of sailing off into the sunset, he hopes to sail into the next century.
DAVE ANDERSON For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
DAVE BARRY What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another pe...
DAVE BARRY Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.
DAVE BARRY Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is ...
DAVE BARRY If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will ...
DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to a...
DAVE BARRY The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
DAVE BARRY It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso...
DAVE BARRY The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.
DAVE BARRY I never excelled at one sport or had a very strong passion for anything other than wrestling and bod...
DAVE BAUTISTA A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are t...
DAVE ATTELL As an individual, I think you have to find your own path. I like the simplicity and purity of Hindui...
DAVE DAVIES I had a few brushes with death, where I nearly chose to go. The final one in 1996 did it for me. I s...
DAVE GAHAN The important thing to remember is that bugs don't actually talk.
DAVE FOLEY When people get disillusioned and get insecure and content about the future, they tend to brood abou...
DAVE DAVIES Jazz isn't dead yet. It's the underpinning of everything in this country. Whether it's a...
DAVE BRUBECK And that's actually the brunt of what we do is, people going straight from their workplace, stra...
DAVE EGGERS That's country music for you - bourbon and the Bible.
DAVE HAYWOOD So this is the space during tutoring hours. It's very busy. Same principles: one-on-one attentio...
DAVE EGGERS You can do and use the skills that you have. The schools need you. The teachers need you. Students a...
DAVE EGGERS The Left likes to think of itself as the bulwark of progressive liberal individualism, and yet it se...
DAVE BRAT Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
DAVE BARRY A standard sitcom... is a very standard idea, like these people falling in love and living with each...
DAVE FINKEL Standing out as a writer today requires more than a bright idea and limpid prose. Authors need to be...
DAVE MORRIS Empire Square production finishes in about a month's time, so at the moment, right now, I'm ...
DAVE ROWNTREE It is criminal to put our servicemen and women in harm's way and to put the lives of so many civ...
DAVE MATTHEWS We don't have enough people going into those fields and there is a high burnout rate in some hea...
DAVE OBEY Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is th...
DAVE BARRY If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
DAVE BARRY The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes i...
DAVE BARRY I go to see some big shows of other bands, and I feel like I'm so bombarded and over-stimulated ...
DAVE GAHAN I'm tired of high policy talks. I want to focus on nuts and bolts.
DAVE FREUDENTHAL The thing that will never go away is that connection you make with a band or a song where you're...
DAVE GROHL I played a homosexual bodyguard in 'The Last Detective,' and that was quite a pleasure to do...
DAVE LEGENO It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso...
DAVE BARRY The baby boomer surge is forcing society to face decisions about costs - and particularly what is va...
DAVE DEBRONKART Granted, a long book can be as daunting as a hard one. I nearly reached for 'Game of Thrones'...
DAVE MORRIS Joy comes from places you least expect it. It's usually the simple things, like watching my son ...
DAVE GAHAN If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to...
DAVE BARRY The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or...
DAVE BARRY The waves of love roll throughout the Universe, and overflow in our hearts..
Everything is ONE!
DAVE ZEBIAN I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a mor...
DAVE BARRY I'm so alive.

As I stand facing the beauty of the never-ending Pacific Ocean, a late afte...
DAVE PELZER 'Breaking Bad' and 'The Shield' were planned right from the start so that their narr...
DAVE MORRIS I found there's a fairly blatant racism in America that's already there, and I don't thi...
DAVE MATTHEWS I want to make hand-held music, undiminished by the need to make everybody in the world listen at on...
DAVE SITEK We all have to die some day, if we live long enough.
DAVE FARBER We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless...
DAVE BARRY The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitutio...
DAVE BARRY There just isn’t enough cock in this world to be caught suckin’ and be called anything but a slu...
DAVE MATTHES ...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church.
DAVE MATTHES I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
DAVE BARRY That’s what books do. They are the building blocks, the DNA, if you will, of you. Think of everyth...
DAVE EGGERS I will not wait to love as best as I can. We thought we were young and that there would be time to l...
DAVE EGGERS Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on.
DAVE BARRY It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know ...
DAVE BARRY You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident."
DAVE BARRY Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
DAVE BARRY I'd take a nerf bullet for you.
DAVE BARRY What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
DAVE BARRY The first person who decided to say a word instead of throwing a rock can be considered the starter ...
DAVE BARRY It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have...
DAVE BARRY I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to r...
DAVE BARRY Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
DAVE BARRY I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it.
DAVE BARRY In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is ba...
DAVE BARRY Books have a unique way of stopping time in a particular moment and saying: Let’s not forget this.
DAVE EGGERS Wake up naked drinking coffee
Making plans to change the world
While the world is changing...
DAVE MATTHEWS Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see wi...
DAVE BARRY Can you imagine the reaction of a British tabloid newspaper if they found a small school in rural En...
DAVE GORMAN We have advantages. We have a cushion to fall back on. This is abundance. A luxury of place and time...
DAVE EGGERS How could I have been anyone other than me?
DAVE MATTHEWS My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormit...
DAVE BARRY As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used, and have failed repeatedly, ...
DAVE PARNAS Don't get suckered in by the comments ... they can terribly be misleading.
DAVE STORER Giving half answers won't make the conversation half as long.
DAVE JOHNSON Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would b...
DAVE BARRY A theme is a memory aid, it helps you through the presentation just as it also provides the thread o...
DAVE CAREY What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be...
DAVE BARRY Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popula...
DAVE BARRY Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated ...
DAVE BARRY Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.
DAVE BARRY There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who ...
DAVE BARRY The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the ...
DAVE BARRY It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in...
DAVE BARRY In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went...
DAVE BARRY Although Golf was originally restricted to wealthy Protestants, today its open to anybody who owns h...
DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybo...
DAVE BERRY Anything done for the first time unleashes a demon.
DAVE SIM I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any ...
DAVE BARRY The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
DAVE BARRY A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer
DAVE BARRY It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mer...
DAVE BARRY Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the p...
DAVE BARRY The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they...
DAVE BARRY My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.
DAVE BARRY The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withst...
DAVE BARRY Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris...
DAVE BARRY The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.
DAVE BARRY The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas...
DAVE BARRY We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless y...
DAVE BARRY Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that h...
DAVE BARRY If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to sa...
DAVE BARRY And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to ta...
DAVE BARRY The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious pe...
DAVE BARRY Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.
DAVE BARRY New York Taxi Rules:1. Driver speaks no English.2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace ...
DAVE BARRY Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organiza...
DAVE BARRY Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won...
DAVE BARRY Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
DAVE BARRY Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
DAVE BARRY Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
DAVE BARRY I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Futu...
DAVE BARRY One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a compute...
DAVE BARRY If you can't excell with talent, triumph with effort.
DAVE WEINBAUM People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with th...
DAVE BARRY Our environmental problems originate in the hubris of imagining ourselves as the central nervous sys...
DAVE FOREMAN Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see wit...
DAVE BARRY We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but ...
DAVE BARRY We are not meant to know everything, Mae. Did you ever think that perhaps our minds are delicately c...
DAVE EGGERS You sit at a desk twelve hours a day and you have nothing to show for it except some numbers that wo...
DAVE EGGERS It’s not that I’m not social. I’m social enough. But the tools you guys create actually manufa...
DAVE EGGERS Even in a country like the USA where fitness has become an obsession, most people exercising do not ...
DAVE WILSON Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, usi...
DAVE BARRY We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this i...
DAVE BARRY