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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.


Rodney Dangerfield

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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wif...
RODNEY DANGERFIELD I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ...
KELLY JONES My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till ...
BOB HOPE It was my uncle who taught me about the birds and the bees. He sat me down one day and said, 'Rememb...
GEORGE CARLIN I told him to think about it. Well, (Tuesday) afternoon he and I sat down and talked. He told me, 'G...
GREG ROBINSON My friend told me later he got the chicken pox. I told him I caught politics and never got over it.
JACK JOHNSON We have tears in our eyes
As we wave our goodbyes,
We so loved being with you, we three. ROALD DAHL I told him I would have too see about paying him, ... He told me not to worry about it.
JIMMY WHITE I told him congratulations and he didn't know what I was congratulating him about,
DUSTY BAKER And the only studies were - Rodney Dangerfield was my mentor and he was my Yale drama school for com...
ROBERT KLEIN I told him about the car story. He got a kick out of it.
JOE NAMATH I myself only had my garbage picked up last week, and when I went home, my wife told me about it,
ANDY KING He told me he was sorry about my son, and that he made a mistake. I told him that I understood that....
HARZEL TYUS We sat down eye to eye. I told him what I expected of him, and he told me what he expected of me.
LONDRICK NOLEN I asked him what he was doing, and he told me he got into carbon fiber cellos,
PAUL ROSENTHAL The worst was relizing that I’d lost him for nothing because he’d been rght about all of it-- va...
CLAUDIA GRAY I just went out and did what my coach told me to do -- wrestle the entire match. I knew I had him ab...
ANDREW MARTIN I did not know about the compensation. I told him I have no idea what he was talking about.
MAUREEN TAYLOR My father always taught by telling stories about his experiences. His lessons were about morality an...
WALTER MOSLEY Now I look like Rodney Dangerfield. He wasn't too bad looking when he was younger.
BILL PETERSON I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that s...
RODNEY DANGERFIELD It was kind of weird. He told my dad about it and he told me. I was sending out the resumes and this...
JEFF GUTOWSKI I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.

RODNEY DANGERFIELD The first two or three plays he was in I was about ready to reach out and choke him. After the game,...
ROY WILLIAMS Beauvoir left their home wanting to call his wife and tell her how much he loved her, and then tell ...
LOUISE PENNY I really rode Brad hard for about three quarters of the year. And then I told him if he would do the...
DAVE ROBBINS We talked for two to five minutes. He asked me where I was coming from. I told him 'I'm lost right n...
JOE WHITE I'm closer to Bob Newhart than Rodney Dangerfield.
JIM GAFFIGAN I started calling around, and everybody told me about this kid Chad Campbell in Texas. They said he ...
DWAINE KNIGHT He talked to me about it. I told him to weigh all the costs and benefits, and write it all down. Wha...
DARREN HERNANDEZ The secrets of success are a good wife and a steady job. My wife told me.
HOWARD NEMEROV I was just answering the phones, and the gentleman on the other end wanted to know when softball sea...
LINDA WATSON My wife asked me what numbers to play at the lottery. I told her 'the winning ones!'
ANONYMOUS I played with all of their tractors, and I wanted one so bad that when I got home I told my dad abou...
DAVID REED I apologized to him about the score. I told him that's the only way I could play him. He wouldn't wa...
ARCHIE CARLYLE The next day, I got a phone call from him and he told me to come and read for a movie called New Jac...
ICE T She told me that she would support me regardless of what I decided, but I'm so glad that I actua...
KAIA GERBER He came to our door and was saying, 'My wife needs medication, I need money,' ... He was shaky and ...
LEE SULLIVAN If he did, I didn't know about it and he would have told me.
GEORGE WILSON I don't know what he's talking about. I was surprised when I got here and people told me about it. I...
SAMMY SOSA He also told me that stepping down a level wouldn't affect my chances. It's all about what I do for ...
CLINTON MORRISON He told me, he told you, he told everybody. And they killed him.
DANIEL CORONELL I mean, the Lord told me it was going to be A, a disaster, and B, messy, ... I warned him about casu...
PAT ROBERTSON I have kept a diary,
WITHNAIL AND I I'm not allowed to talk about him. His mother sent me an e-mail and told me not to talk about him. S...
BONNIE BLAIR I was a 'Laurel and Hardy' nut. I got to know Laurel at the end of his life, and it was a gr...
DICK VAN DYKE He asked me how many high school games I had coached. I told him it was around 780, and he said, 'I ...
FLOYD CIRUTI I told my son to write down exactly what he told me.
ACENCION RIVERA You can say what you want about his stuff, but his makeup is off the charts. And he has great stuff....
ELLIOTT AVENT When they stood up and I stayed where I was, he asked me if I was going to stand and I told him that...
ROSA PARKS J has told me about his past. I know what happened and why. But he is the one person who made me bel...
LATOYA JACKSON I told Josh if he had a shot, take it. We were down by a lot. He had some looks. I told him 'don't w...
BILLY MITCHELL Then I saw an article about Mr. [Larry] Dodson. So I decided to take my chances and call him. He tol...
GRACE ANDREWS But when he came out he began to realize what we were talking about, and he had breakfast with Coach...
ERNIE ZEIGLER When they had a roast for me a while back, he told this story about how I always jumped on him about...
BILL MERCER I was just listening to my coach. He told me to quit thinking about my shot and just shoot it n let ...
JASPER WILLIAMS My pastor asked me if I ever thought of divorcing him. I told him no, but I thought about shooting h...
MARIE FABRICIUS I never told a victim story about my imprisonment. Instead, I told a transformation story - about ho...
FERNANDO FLORES Coach told Larry to 'bring him up.' So I came up and, basically, the first day, he said go ahead and...
DANTE KERNEY Mum had done everything you need to educate a kid. She made me a kid who likes books and she told me...
TERRY PRATCHETT I was talking to my good friend Kid Rock a while ago, and he told me if I'd send him a helmet, h...
PEYTON MANNING I recounted my adventures, just as I recount them to you now. I told him about Bombay, which glowed ...
YUDHANJAYA WIJERATNE We're the Rodney Dangerfield of the league. Nobody knows who we are.
STEVE TAYLOR Forever is a long long time and time has a way of changing things
WALT DISNEY COMPANY When we put LIVE backwards it spells EVIL, interesting how one word can have two totally opposing me...
GARY F EVANS... I love you." she whispered into the rough wool of his sweater.
L.J. SMITH And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three,...
MONTY PYTHON I make mistakes. That's what I do. I
speak without thinking, I act without
knowing. I d...
CANDACE BUSHNELL Everyone gets dumped and everyone gets hurt and there's karma to love in regards to what you'...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS My dad's quite a conservative person, and he brought me up to be very questioning of the commerc...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS I don't think she's a lesbian. I think she just ran out of men. [Charlotte]
SEX AND THE CITY When you are with the wrong person, who doesn't really love you, all you want is to be adored. I...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS I really like the look of the 1950s, lots of suburban Americana influences. I'm 5'4', so...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS I am very curvy, so the vintage stores suit me better than most designers. I just can't seem to ...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS I have quite a lot of plastic sunglasses. It's just a nice accessory, it adds a final thing, and...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS I lived in Greece for about four years of my life, and living there had a huge impact on my life gro...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS I love natural beauty, and I think it's your best look, but I think makeup as an artist is so tr...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS I think celebrity culture and sexuality in pop music is really important, but I want there to be an ...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS I'm not really part of that 'L.A. thing' or that celebrity culture. I'm more like so...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS This obsession with celebrity culture is really unhealthy. I don't want to live my life like tha...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS Even when I see a beautiful woman, I think, 'Aw, her life must be amazing.' Everyone does it...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS Blonde symbolises sexuality and power - it holds very different connotations. The archetypal star ha...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS Love is really my nemesis. I never really allowed myself to indulge in such basic things because I w...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS Britney Spears is a big influence. Huge. I think people thought I was joking about that for a long t...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS Puberty is a phase... fifteen years of rejection is a lifestyle. [Stanford]
SEX AND THE CITY I criticized the whole American songwriting industry and the pop side of it and I was bitter about i...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS I often take things I find in vintage crawls and hand them to a very good seamstress, who then repli...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS I've read every Madonna biography. I've also looked up every pop star to see how they first ...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS Oh my God, she's fashion road-kill!
SEX AND THE CITY I love you, but I love myself more.
SEX AND THE CITY Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had ne...
SEX AND THE CITY Desperate Housewives.
SEX AND THE CITY Sean (while ice-skating with Carrie): I'm guessing it's easier to balance when you're not smoking.Ca...
SEX AND THE CITY I want you to look at me, connect with me. This is lovemaking, it's not a porno flick. [Maria]
SEX AND THE CITY I once was broken up with by a guy's doorman. 'I'm sorry Ms. Hobbes, Jonathan won't be coming down. ...
SEX AND THE CITY I feel like everyone has the right to privacy, even if you're the most famous person in the worl...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS When you are in the studio, you don't have anybody to feed off of; meanwhile, when you are playi...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS I am absolutely not a roll-on-stage kind of girl! I would be totally freaked out if I didn't war...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS It's a slippery slope, Carrie. Without boundaries you never know what might happen. [Miranda]
SEX AND THE CITY the sort of person who'd back Proposition 14.
SEX AND THE CITY

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RODNEY CARNEY I played against him in basketball tournaments back in New York, prep school, anything you can name ...
RODNEY EPPERSON The energy of college football rivals that of a live performance for me. I am an extremely analytica...
RODNEY ATKINS People look at me like I should have been like Malcolm X or Martin Luther King or Rosa Parks. I shou...
RODNEY KING I won some genetic lottery. I always happened to be strangely good at mathematics in my head. I just...
RODNEY BROOKS She took a great angle. We've been stressing that. Early on in the season we weren't taking great an...
RODNEY TAYLOR The great myth that many social scientists want to encourage is that there is an incompatibility bet...
RODNEY STARK Well, he's a fiery guy. He's very competitive. He's high-spirited, he's emotional. ... I guess he's ...
RODNEY HARRISON We have to accept that we are just machines. That's certainly what modern molecular biology says...
RODNEY BROOKS We cannot let these sounds [find] and over-excite a sympathetic resonance.
RODNEY ROCHA The most glaringly obvious fact about the present case is the significant media and public interest ...
RODNEY MELVILLE I couldn't live here. The real estate is too high.
RODNEY CARNEY Do you want me to shut the trial down this afternoon? ... You are not to engage in this kind of inte...
RODNEY MELVILLE We as taxpayers have put in well over $12 to $15 billion of investment in a repository for high-leve...
RODNEY FRELINGHUYSEN Let me make it clear: I support health care reform. I just don't support Nancy Pelosi's vers...
RODNEY FRELINGHUYSEN I think it's better to wear outfits because everyone has on the same thing.
RODNEY HUGHES I don't see how you can grow as a world without being able to get along with people. So many peo...
RODNEY KING Hands-on experience is the best way to learn about all the interdisciplinary aspects of robotics.
RODNEY BROOKS I saw my hometown burning that day.
RODNEY KING The purpose of the 'Way Forward Group' is simply to do, in a formal way, what the royal family in Br...
RODNEY BARKER The current sleaze scandal is potentially very, very damaging indeed for the government, because the...
RODNEY BARKER If you look at almost any prominent political thinking intellectual these days, they have all moved ...
RODNEY BARKER This is purely an intellectual endeavor.
RODNEY MARTIN 'It's Alright, Ma' would be the prototype for that tune, I freely admit, ... When I was 12 years old...
RODNEY CROWELL I kicked it in full gear on the last lap, and ran it in like 52 seconds.
RODNEY OYLER The only place for women in football is making the tea at half-time.
RODNEY MARSH ...but we know better now, don't we?
RODNEY LOVELL So maybe with the research robots that are out there, people will come up with ways to use them to t...
RODNEY BROOKS The Keystone pipeline is one of those things that's sort of a political driver. And mostly, the ...
RODNEY FRELINGHUYSEN Right now my favorite TV show - because it's too close to home - is 'My Name Is Earl.' T...
RODNEY ATKINS Our external experiences are what make us different. Our internal systems are what make us the same.
RODNEY LOVELL Judge yourself fairly. Sentence yourself lightly. Pardon yourself often.
RODNEY LOVELL An infinitesimal illumination is most valuable in the darkest room.
RODNEY LOVELL Sometimes a significant truth is found in a simple sentence.
RODNEY LOVELL