What no one tells you - or maybe they did tell me, and I chose not to listen - is that there's really no 'coming back' from bleached platinum hair. You sort of have to cut it all off and start over.

When you own a pair of haircutting scissors, you cut your own hair constantly.

Nobody said being platinum was easy.

I've had some not-great experiences with laser hair removal, probably because I haven't done what they told me.

I'm not so great at keeping secrets; maybe that's why no one ever tells me things.

Throughout your teens and twenties, it's pretty easy to live in a suspended reality - one where you never get old or need to spend much time thinking about 401Ks, mammograms, or renewing your license. You don't need me to tell you: that ends.