What she did have, after raising two children, was the equivalent of a PhD in mothering and my undying respect.

There is always the fantasy of maternal love, but it does not accommodate a mother's fear of her children.

It may be that mothers have a hard time discerning between when sons need comforting and when they need bucking up. Here's a rule of thumb: If he hasn't faced the trial yet, or he's in the midst of it - encourage him. If he's been to the wars and is limping home wounded - comfort him. Once the wounds are bound up, encourage him to rise and face the fight again.

A wise mother knows: It is her state of consciousness that matters. Her gentleness and clarity command respect. Her love creates security.

This is about acceptance of responsibility and respect for the mother of these children, the children that are alive, the children that are not alive. Miss Porter prayed and cried with Miss Wilkins and just did not want to put her through another day of living through this.

Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation.