What this country needs - what every country needs occasionally - is a good hard bloody war to revive the vice of patriotism on which its existence as a nation depends
Ambrose Bierce
Related What this country needs what every country needs occasionally is a good hard bloody war to revive th... AMBROSE BIERCE What this country needs is a good five cent cigar. FRANKLIN PIERCE ADAMS What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel. FRANKLIN PIERCE ADAMS What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel. FRANK ADAMS What this country needs is a good five cent cigar. THOMAS R. MARSHALL What this country needs is a really good five cent cigar. THOMAS R. MARSHALL What this country (America) needs is a really good 5-cent cigar. THOMAS R. MARSHALL What this country needs is money! W. C. FIELDS There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What t... FRANKLIN P. ADAMS A librarian for president is exactly what this country needs. RICHARD CASTLE What this country needs is more unemployed politicians. ANGELA DAVIS What this country needs is more unemployed politicians. EDWARD LANGLEY What this country needs is a credit card for charging things to experience. TOM WILSON What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to. HANSELL B. DUCKETT No business which depends for existence on paying less than living wages to its workers has any righ... FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSEVELT No business which depends for existence on paying less than living wages to its workers has any righ... FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT What this country needs are more unemployed politicians EDWARD LANGLEY What a country needs to do is be fair to all its citizens - whether people are of a different ethnic... CHINUA ACHEBE The opportunity to decieve others is ever present and often tempting, and each instance of deception... SAM HARRIS Afghanistan is a country in need. Afghanistan needs to protect itself in the region; Afghanistan nee... HAMID KARZAI What the country needs are a few labor-making inventions. ARNOLD H. GLASOW What the country needs are a few labor-making inventions. ARNOLD H. GLASGOW Empathy is the new measurement of everything. It doesn't matter what religion you have, what God you... C. JOYBELL C. What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds. WILL ROGERS This country needs to get a backbone and stand up for its economic interest. BYRON DORGAN Germany must be a country which generates political ideas and leadership, which is capable of compro... HORST KOEHLER I'm a child of immigrants. That is the history of this country. Immigration is good and importan... JOHN BARRASSO This country is run by a war criminal and his vice president, an even bigger war criminal. RALPH NADER A nation without patriotism won't win any war. TOBA BETA If you work well, the country will be in good order, and it will be a blessing to the country. The c... BHUMIBOL ADULYADEJ Too many people in the American media have lost any concept of loyalty to their country -- if they e... ORSON SCOTT CARD That’s what our country needs – more books and far more readers. AMAN JASSAL They are part of the root of what we are as a country, as a nation, DICK REED 'The Hunger Games' takes place in Panem, a country which is part of America. It's post-a... LIAM HEMSWORTH My aspirations for this country would be on the scope of what Franklin Roosevelt brought to this cou... DENNIS KUCINICH We will do everything to change what needs to be changed, fight against recession so that the countr... YIANNIS STOURNARAS What is the 'noble cause' for which you sent our country to war? CINDY SHEEHAN The war needs to end. Hopefully, this represents a surge of energy. The population needs to take its... GARY HANDSCHUMACHER I believe Clinton needs a certain level of violence in this country, WAYNE LAPIERRE We don't think these elections will give the country what it needs. We don't want to be a part of it... KORN CHATIKAVANIJ This country depends on the saints, ... This country exists because of the praying people. CYNTHIA PRATT There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ... J.J. MCAVOY That future depends on the values of self-government, our sense of duty, loyalty, self-confidence an... JEFF MILLER What a country calls its vital economic interests are not the things which enable its citizens to li... SIMONE WEIL What a country calls its vital economic interests are not the things which enable its citizens to li... SIMONE WEIL The happiness of every country depends upon the character of its people, rather than the form of its... THOMAS C. HALIBURTON The happiness of every country depends upon the character of its people, rather than the form of its... THOMAS CHANDLER HALIBURTON Brecht said it, 'It's an unhappy country that needs heroes. That's true. They are not needed in a no... ALEKSANDR PODRABINEK On the education of the people of this country the fate of the country depends. BENJAMIN DISRAELI To me, makeup is fashion and vice versa. What I dress and what I wear always needs to work with my m... CARINE ROITFELD It needs to become as easy to get hold of a condom in a poor country as Coca-Cola, CLARE SHORT The country needs this president to admit that his government failed, ARTUR DAVIS The consequences of these unprecedented reductions would be to cripple the ability of NASA's science... WES HUNTRESS For our nation, this appears to be the worse natural disaster. It's hard to believe this is happenin... CAROL STEVENS Although the political liberty of this country is greater than that of nearly every other civilized ... JAMES F. COOPER every professor secretly thinks that what the world needs is a good, solid lecture--from him, of cou... GREGORY BENFORD Captain America is an interesting character because it makes you ask those questions in yourself as ... MARK WAID All of life is a foreign country. JACK KEROUAC Something needs to be done and they have gone after the best British coach in the country, someone w... DENIS BETTS Something needs to be done and they have gone after the best British coach in the country. DENIS BETTS This is not an issue about Mexicans. It's about all immigrants in this country. The bill needs to be... DANIEL THOMPSON I feel strongly that our country needs good public broadcasting and it needs to be an honest broker ... GAY HART GAINES We are neighboring an affected country and Iran is on the route of migrating birds twice a year. Ira... KAMYAR DAHIM Patriotism in America, as I understand it, is a matter of suffering, when the country fails to live ... GREIL MARCUS The talks are very important for the market because the economic development of the country depends ... VAJIRA PREMAWARDHANA War is a fundamental aspect of human existence. It's good to know what war entails and what the ... TIM O'BRIEN The Tea Party is clearing gunk out of the fuel lines of this country. It started with throwing out D... BRAD THOR Our society needs to recognize the unstoppable momentum toward unequivocal civil equality for every ... ZACHARY QUINTO Our country, like every modern state, needs profound democratic reforms. It needs political and ideo... ANDREI SAKHAROV What is The Country? For them, or for us?... MARIANA FULGER For God's sake bring me a large Scotch. What a bloody awful country. REGINALD MAUDLING And that's why I wrote the book, because our country really needs to understand, if people in th... JOHN PERKINS So if it seems like you're doing something different from what everyone else is doing, and if someti... CRAIG GROESCHEL The media believes that what Obama was gonna do when he took over, go dictator immediately, that was... RUSH LIMBAUGH Nationalism is our form of incest, is our idolatry, is our insanity. Patriotism is its cult. It shou... ERICH FROMM Nationalism is our form of incest, is our idolatry, is our insanity. ''Patriotism'' is its cult. It ... ERICH FROMM What every man needs, regardless of his job or the kind of work he is doing, is a vision of what his... JOSEPH MORRELL DODGE What every man needs, regardless of his job or the kind of work he is doing, is a vision of what his... JOSEPH M. DODGE The United States established itself as a trustworthy new nation in its first two decades after the ... JOHN PODHORETZ A good country song taps into strong undercurrents of family, faith, and patriotism. GEORGE BUSH Part of what makes our country a great one is that we're willing to share our expertise. Obviously w... JEFFREY KAHN What rich countries are offering right now is not nearly good enough. They should concentrate on wha... MOUHAMET LAMINE But you know as well as I, patriotism is a word; and one that generally comes to mean either my c... PATRICK O'BRIAN Every country on Earth needs a progressive Revolution. But these revolutions must come through the R... MEHMET MURAT ILDAN Every nation needs a crystal clear mirror to see its stupidities, to see its hypocrisies, to see its... MEHMET MURAT ILDAN For years I thought what was good for our country was good for General Motors and vice versa. The di... CHARLES ERWIN WILSON Volkswagen has been playing hardball in recent months. This is good news, as Europe needs a buoyant ... STEPHEN POPE Might it not be that a great force that has always been thinking in terms of human needs, and that a... JEANNETTE RANKIN A nation's ability to fight a modern war is as good as its technological ability. FRANK WHITTLE He loves this country, worked hard for this country and this is what he gets. Quite frankly, it's a ... JAY REISINGER No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ... H. P. LOVECRAFT India - A country that needs no politician but a magician. PRAVIN PRAJAPATI Sometimes all a country needs is an entire collapse for a new beginning! MEHMET MURAT ILDAN Every vampire fiction reinvents vampires to its own needs. You take what you want. JOSS WHEDON A heart needs only its own voice to do what is right. VANNA BONTA France is an old country that needs to wake up. MELANIE LAURENT When your country is in a costly war, with our soldiers sacrificing abroad and our nation facing a d... CORY BOOKER Basically everyone agrees that building the wall is really what not needs to be done, and we need to... ELIZABETH GALLAGHER The nation... doesn't simply need what we have. It needs what we are. EDITH STEIN Upon the education of the people of this country the fate of this country depends. BENJAMIN DISRAELI
More Ambrose Bierce
Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure. AMBROSE BIERCE Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the e... AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries. AMBROSE BIERCE Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. AMBROSE BIERCE Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for,... AMBROSE BIERCE Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. AMBROSE BIERCE Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ... AMBROSE BIERCE Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree. AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. AMBROSE BIERCE Doubt is the father of invention. AMBROSE BIERCE Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. AMBROSE BIERCE Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ... AMBROSE BIERCE Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. AMBROSE BIERCE Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. AMBROSE BIERCE Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on. AMBROSE BIERCE Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ... AMBROSE BIERCE Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions. AMBROSE BIERCE Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another. AMBROSE BIERCE Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows. AMBROSE BIERCE Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white. AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone. AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills. AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. AMBROSE BIERCE OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills. AMBROSE BIERCE ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b... AMBROSE BIERCE For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His e... AMBROSE BIERCE Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand... AMBROSE BIERCE Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage. AMBROSE BIERCE Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. AMBROSE BIERCE Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. AMBROSE BIERCE You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps. AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean , n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g... AMBROSE BIERCE Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed. AMBROSE BIERCE Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. AMBROSE BIERCE The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity. AMBROSE BIERCE Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m... AMBROSE BIERCE Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. AMBROSE BIERCE What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi... AMBROSE BIERCE Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th... AMBROSE BIERCE Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious. AMBROSE BIERCE Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on. AMBROSE BIERCE Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others. AMBROSE BIERCE Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ... AMBROSE BIERCE An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. AMBROSE BIERCE A temporary insanity curable by marriage. AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. AMBROSE BIERCE Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes... AMBROSE BIERCE Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility. AMBROSE BIERCE Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat. AMBROSE BIERCE Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co... AMBROSE BIERCE Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no... AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows. AMBROSE BIERCE Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan... AMBROSE BIERCE Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure. AMBROSE BIERCE Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi... AMBROSE BIERCE Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify. AMBROSE BIERCE Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull. AMBROSE BIERCE Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited. AMBROSE BIERCE Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover... AMBROSE BIERCE Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. AMBROSE BIERCE Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity. AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on. AMBROSE BIERCE Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect. AMBROSE BIERCE A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support. AMBROSE BIERCE Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain. AMBROSE BIERCE Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un... AMBROSE BIERCE Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t... AMBROSE BIERCE Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves. AMBROSE BIERCE To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result. AMBROSE BIERCE A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing. AMBROSE BIERCE All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher. AMBROSE BIERCE A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success. AMBROSE BIERCE Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting. AMBROSE BIERCE Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue. AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly. AMBROSE BIERCE An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white. AMBROSE BIERCE They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid. AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. AMBROSE BIERCE Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward. AMBROSE BIERCE As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen... AMBROSE BIERCE Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live. AMBROSE BIERCE Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy. AMBROSE BIERCE A man is known by the company he organizes. AMBROSE BIERCE Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti... AMBROSE BIERCE Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap... AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me. AMBROSE BIERCE An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me! AMBROSE BIERCE Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire. AMBROSE BIERCE Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard. AMBROSE BIERCE Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta... AMBROSE BIERCE Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you. AMBROSE BIERCE Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state. AMBROSE BIERCE Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis... AMBROSE BIERCE Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please... AMBROSE BIERCE Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. AMBROSE BIERCE A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills. AMBROSE BIERCE Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont... AMBROSE BIERCE Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl... AMBROSE BIERCE Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well. AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries. AMBROSE BIERCE Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give... AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien... AMBROSE BIERCE A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be. AMBROSE BIERCE Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C. AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. AMBROSE BIERCE Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ... AMBROSE BIERCE A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker. AMBROSE BIERCE An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws. AMBROSE BIERCE To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense. AMBROSE BIERCE An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k... AMBROSE BIERCE Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip. AMBROSE BIERCE Habit is a shackle for the free. AMBROSE BIERCE Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti... AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones. AMBROSE BIERCE Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw. AMBROSE BIERCE Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad... AMBROSE BIERCE Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age. AMBROSE BIERCE Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha... AMBROSE BIERCE The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. AMBROSE BIERCE PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery. AMBROSE BIERCE When in Rome, do as Rome does. AMBROSE BIERCE To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice. AMBROSE BIERCE Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom... AMBROSE BIERCE Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen. AMBROSE BIERCE Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie... AMBROSE BIERCE Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world. AMBROSE BIERCE Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou... AMBROSE BIERCE Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. AMBROSE BIERCE Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o... AMBROSE BIERCE Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. AMBROSE BIERCE Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. AMBROSE BIERCE Woman absent is woman dead. AMBROSE BIERCE The covers of this book are too far apart. AMBROSE BIERCE Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another. AMBROSE BIERCE Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso... AMBROSE BIERCE A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. AMBROSE BIERCE Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi... AMBROSE BIERCE The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors. AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ... AMBROSE BIERCE Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte... AMBROSE BIERCE ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in... AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima... AMBROSE BIERCE ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ... AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o... AMBROSE BIERCE Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness. AMBROSE BIERCE Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. AMBROSE BIERCE International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde... AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country. AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. AMBROSE BIERCE A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. AMBROSE BIERCE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic. AMBROSE BIERCE There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy. AMBROSE BIERCE FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed. AMBROSE BIERCE ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus... AMBROSE BIERCE HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com... AMBROSE BIERCE ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m... AMBROSE BIERCE YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So... AMBROSE BIERCE Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie... AMBROSE BIERCE One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. AMBROSE BIERCE OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc... AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly. AMBROSE BIERCE Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact. AMBROSE BIERCE Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited. AMBROSE BIERCE QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh... AMBROSE BIERCE When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover. AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of... AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else. AMBROSE BIERCE ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci... AMBROSE BIERCE LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s... AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. AMBROSE BIERCE Birth: The first and direst of all disasters. AMBROSE BIERCE Dawn: When men of reason go to bed. AMBROSE BIERCE Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai... AMBROSE BIERCE Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish. AMBROSE BIERCE Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. AMBROSE BIERCE Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking. AMBROSE BIERCE Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable. AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice. AMBROSE BIERCE Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence. AMBROSE BIERCE Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ... AMBROSE BIERCE Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke... AMBROSE BIERCE Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor... AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. AMBROSE BIERCE Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success. AMBROSE BIERCE Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ... AMBROSE BIERCE Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the... AMBROSE BIERCE Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ... AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up. AMBROSE BIERCE TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab... AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist , n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me. AMBROSE BIERCE Positive , adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice. AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater , n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. AMBROSE BIERCE Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa... AMBROSE BIERCE