When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does.

One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife!

My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station.

If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.

My wife asked me what numbers to play at the lottery. I told her 'the winning ones!'

A woman has to change her nature if she is to be a wife. She has to learn to curb her tongue, to suppress her desires, to moderate her thoughts and to spend her days putting another first. She has to put him first even when she longs to serve herself or her children. She has to put him first even if she longs to judge for herself. She has to put him first even when she knows best. To be a good wife is to be a woman with a will of iron that you yourself have forged into a bridle to curb your own abilities. To be a good wife is to enslave yourself to a lesser person. To be a good wife is to amputate your own power as surely as the parents of beggars hack off their children's feet for the greater benefit of the family.