When I was young, I told my sister that she had chunky thighs. She slapped me and I cried. She feels bad about it to this day, but I feel worse.


Jon Heder

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I don't have the identity of any of them. I only had the nicks that they used on Internet Relay ...
JON JOHANSEN
I know when I started I would have been happy to sound like the Beatles or Joe Tex or whoever. You w...
JON ANDERSON
Greed, envy, sloth, pride and gluttony: these are not vices anymore. No, these are marketing tools. ...
JON FOREMAN
I was much crazier than I had imagined. Or maybe it was a bad idea to read DSM-IV when you're not a ...
JON RONSON
The DSM-IV-TR is a 943-page textbook published by the American Psychiatric Association that sells fo...
JON RONSON
I would say television is a focus, and expanding our channel platform is a focus. As for buying libr...
JON FELTHEIMER
I've had a lot of crappy jobs, but one of my favorites was working as a commercial fisherman in ...
JON KRAKAUER
Anybody can be going from being broke to being wealthy, as I did.
JON LOVITZ
The decisions you make affect a lot of people. You have investors, employees, and customers who all ...
JON ORINGER
There's definitely evidence that capitalism at its most ruthless rewards psychopathic behavior. ...
JON RONSON
Bites are usually not random attacks by strays. The great majority of biting dogs belong to a family...
JON KATZ
I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.
JON STEWART
Heaven, for me, is one focused project - it's like a weird form of autism.
JON KRAKAUER
For years, I was watching other people have so much fun playing out their version of authorship, lik...
JON FAVREAU
The problem for those who assert biblical authority in support of traditional definitions of marriag...
JON MEACHAM
Justified or not, the Supreme Court has a kind of sacred status in American life. For whatever reaso...
JON MEACHAM
Under current law volunteers who are not working with an official nonprofit organization are not cov...
JON PORTER
The real truth is that the Obama administration is professional at bullying, as we have witnessed wi...
JON VOIGHT
Between the theme parks and the movies, the Disney iconography was probably the first set of archety...
JON FAVREAU
To ensure we are meeting the demands of existing customers while also attracting new users, we remai...
JON ORINGER
If the events of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack u...
JON STEWART
History tells us that America does best when the private sector is energetic and entrepreneurial and...
JON MEACHAM
We must do all we can to empower parents and communities to protect our youth and to encourage healt...
JON CORZINE
Extremists often derive their inspiration from literal interpretations of texts that should rightly ...
JON MEACHAM
Elton John can be a master of the sleight of hand. The arrangements make it seem like there are subs...
JON LANDAU
I taught elementary school and painted apartments for ten years. Now I write full-time and never hav...
JON SCIESZKA
There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people ...
JON STEWART
I don't 'handle' people. It's so much easier to manipulate actors than to really hav...
JON FAVREAU
Barry White seemed so filled with self-parody at first that it was easy to dismiss him. But it is be...
JON LANDAU
The Patriot Act removed major legal barriers that prevented the law enforcement, intelligence, and n...
JON PORTER
I am a southerner who grew up with and around guns. I own some still. My father gave me a .22 rifle ...
JON MEACHAM
Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle betwe...
JON STEWART
I play trumpet. And I took all the music courses in college, so I can also play the string instrumen...
JON TESTER
Many entrepreneurs have shifted their focus to pursuing VC funding as a primary strategic priority i...
JON ORINGER
I don't know that a movie like 'Daredevil' did better for having Ben Affleck then 'S...
JON FAVREAU
One of the earliest resurrection scenes in the Bible is that of Thomas demanding evidence - he wante...
JON MEACHAM
What's fun about chefs is that they're big guys, often, and they might not look like the mos...
JON FAVREAU
War is big business. It's a lot of money going to and fro, and unfortunately a lot of angst, and...
JON ANDERSON
Earliest musical memory is probably being scared stiff with my family's band as a youngster on s...
JON BATISTE
You show people playing poker or hacking into a computer; it feels so significant in the script, and...
JON FAVREAU
People can relate more to being honest about your problems, your insecurities, and the things that y...
JON BELLION
I've got a great life. I'm in love, I have a happy, wonderful, beautiful time with my marria...
JON ANDERSON
Ringo Starr may not have much of a voice, but when he sang a song on a Beatle album, it had its own ...
JON LANDAU
People think bigger movies are bad, and that's just not true - there's bad big films, and th...
JON FAVREAU
God’s will for you is to make you more like Jesus. Christlikeness is your target, your goal, your ...
JON MORRISON
If nobody speaks of remarkable things, how can they be called remarkable?
JON MCGREGOR
At long last he was unencumbered, emancipated from the stifling world of his parents and peers, a wo...
JON KRAKAUER
It is easy, when you are young, to believe that what you desire is no less than what you deserve, to...
JON KRAKAUER
The trip was to be an odyssey in the fullest sense of the word, an epic journey that would change ev...
JON KRAKAUER
According to the moral absolutism that characterizes McCandless's beliefs, a challenge in which a su...
JON KRAKAUER
It is the experiences, the memories, the great triumphant joy of living to the fullest extent in whi...
JON KRAKAUER
Nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic...
JON KRAKAUER
On July 2, McCandless finished reading Tolstoy's "Family Happiness", having marked several passages ...
JON KRAKAUER
I understood what he was doing, that he had spent four years fulfilling the absurd and tedious duty ...
JON KRAKAUER