When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?

a technician who uses the term “glitch” is like a
Doctor who tells you you’re suffering from a “thingy,” except the doctor won’t tell you to go home and try turning yourself on and off again.

I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.

The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.

Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it would be patronising to go and talk like a welder. Welding's a mystery to me now. You can't go back, your life changes every day.

Behind the proscenium arch, you can't always hear what people in the audience are saying.