When she left, it was like someone had ripped my heart out, crumbled it up like a flimsy piece of loose leaf paper and crammed it back into my chest. It somehow managed to work, but it would never, ever feel the same.

Part of me aches to touch her now that she's so close. But the other part, the logical part, wants to coast myself in Teflon, because I know that her being here, no matter what her reasons, is going to seriously fuck with my world.

It was like someone had died- like I had died. Because it had been more than just losing the truest of true loves, as if that were not enough to kill anyone. It was also losing a whole future, a whole family- the whole life that I'd chosen... 

I try to smile at her, but I can't extend my flexibility training to my mouth, it just won't move.

My insides feel like they are crumbling like a towering JENGA game. I lose.

It’s easy to fall in love, Ben. The hard part comes when you want out.