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When we had to do book reports, I would pick a book that no one read and just make it up and turn that in. I got praised for my imagination.


Ahmet Zappa

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DWEEZIL ZAPPA Tobacco is my favorite vegetable.
FRANK ZAPPA You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind o...
FRANK ZAPPA There is no such thing as a dirty word. Nor is there a word so powerful, that it's going to send the...
FRANK ZAPPA Government is the Entertainment division of the military-industrial complex.
FRANK ZAPPA I'm vile and perverted.
I'm obsessed and deranged.
I've existed for years but very little...
FRANK ZAPPA Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to the Bible? Who wins?
FRANK ZAPPA There's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.
FRANK ZAPPA Music is the only religion that delivers the goods.
FRANK ZAPPA My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as f...
FRANK ZAPPA The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it's profitable to continue the illusion. At the po...
FRANK ZAPPA It's better to have something to remember than anything to regret.
FRANK ZAPPA Drop out of school before your mind rots from exposure to our mediocre educational system. Forget ab...
FRANK ZAPPA Interviewer: 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?'
Frank Zappa: 'You have...
FRANK ZAPPA Definition of rock journalism: People who can't write, doing interviews with people who can't think,...
FRANK ZAPPA Jazz isn't dead. It just smells funny.
FRANK ZAPPA Information is not knowledge.
Knowledge is not wisdom.
Wisdom is not truth.
Truth is ...
FRANK ZAPPA Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.
FRANK ZAPPA A true Zen saying: "Nothing is what I want.
FRANK ZAPPA May your shit come to life and kiss you on the face.
FRANK ZAPPA I wrote a song about dental floss but did anyone's teeth get cleaner?
FRANK ZAPPA I detest love lyrics. I think one of the causes of bad mental health in the United States is that pe...
FRANK ZAPPA For the record, folks; I never took a shit on stage and the closest I ever came to eating shit anywh...
FRANK ZAPPA