When you have a half slice of chocolate pie, it's as if you owe yourself the other half - what's known in medical circles as a 'caloric deficit.'

The pie gets bigger, and we'd like to get a little bigger slice of it.

I owe it all to little chocolate donuts.

I've always thought that I'd make a pretty good police officer, except maybe for the danger part. I have a rare medical condition that makes it difficult for me to risk getting shot, so probably I'd have to be one of those officers who work in 'do not shoot' areas.

Pessimism is as American as apple pie - frozen apple pie with a slice of processed cheese.

When you adopt a dog, you have a lot of very good days and one very bad day.