When you see another person getting upset or angry, it's because they feel unsafe. You do the same. When you're in that sort of situation you should think through: What can I do to increase the safety in that situation? With enough safety, you can talk about anything.

Don't wait for your "ship to come in," and feel angry and cheated when it doesn't. Get going with something small.

She was very distressed. She was very angry, she was very upset, and all of that is totally understandable.

That makes it even better. Now when we upset them, it'll be a shock to everybody.

I feel like I'm the person who helped resurrect him when he was down and out,

I was very upset, and for two months, if I saw his picture somewhere I would get angry, ... I hadn't lost somebody to a shooting before -- it wasn't as though he'd been killed in some sort of accident. He was taken in such a horrible, malicious way that just made it more painful.