Whether they run a record company or a grocery store, every boss will tell you you're in big trouble if you're borrowing more than you can ever afford to pay back. Delaying the pain for future generations is suicidal. We've got to start getting the deficit down right now, not next year.

Our hunting areas are the grocery store.

The next MVP of the Super Bowl is just as likely to have been a full-time grocery store bagger last year as a Heisman Trophy winner.

A lot of people in line at the grocery store think that they know me, but they don't.

I'm no sexual siren. I see prettier girls than me in the grocery store every day.

CASHIER: Are you a member of our club?
ME: Um, I'm just getting hot dogs.
CASHIER: That'll be four thousand dollars...or you can join our club.
ME: Um, I can't come to a lot of meetings, but I guess I'll join.
CASHIER: It's really convenient. Fill out this personal information for the next ten minutes.