While they stood, the Mommy said if you ever want to be the first person to board an airplane and if you want to travel with your pet, you can do both, easy. The airlines have to let crazy people carry their animals on their laps. The government says so.This is more important information to live by.


Chuck Palahniuk

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One thing I really envy about my friends who have kids is that as their children develop, they'r...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
You have no idea what it is like to constantly disappoint people. You see it the moment you meet the...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Tyler and me at the edge of the roof, the gun in my mouth, I'm wondering how clean this gun is.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
I try to forget about the expectation that's out there and the audience listening for the next t...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
In a way, a lot of my humor comes from presenting things that are dramatic or shocking and then peop...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
The things you used to own, now they own you.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
For me and my entire generation, we took on this kind of sarcastic, ironic, snarkiness because it se...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
No matter how much you think you love somebody, you'll step back when the pool of their blood ed...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Did perpetual happiness in the Garden of Eden maybe get so boring that eating the apple was justifie...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Hysteria is only possible with an audience.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have ...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Don't do what you want. Do what you don't want. Do what you're trained not to want. Do the things th...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
With a gun stuck in your mouth and the barrel of the gun between your teeth, you can only talk in vo...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
The things you own end up owning you.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depre...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
We just had a near-life experience!
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
This is why I loved the support groups so much. If people thought you were dying, they gave you thei...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
If you could be God's worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose?
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Being tired isn't the same as being rich, but most times it's close enough.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
A minute of perfection was worth the effort. A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfec...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Masochism is a valuable job skill.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Someone bent on suicide won't have much sense of humor left.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Which is worse: Hell or nothing?
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distrac...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sof...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Real discoveries come from chaos.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
The future is just wasted on some people.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
You can find fresh pain every time you discover what you pretty much already know.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
If you don’t know what you want, you end up with a lot you don’t
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
There’s always the chance you could die right in the middle of your life story
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Us. God's forgotten Science Fair project, left to grow mold. God's goldfish, ignored until we're for...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
As if you cut open a rag doll with a sill name, and found inside:Real intestines, real lungs, a beat...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
You are not special. Your are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
I tell everybody, i'm tired of being jerked around, okay? so lets just not pretend. i don't have fuc...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK