Why don't you want to do what you know you should do? The reason you don't is that you are in conflict with yourself.

I never take advice from anyone more messed up than I am

Getting in touch with your true self must be your first priority.

I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed: and the number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I fail and keep trying.

Internalization. This occurs when you've exploited impact, when you've molded the standard material to your needs and made it yours, when you've made your new skills strong through hard use. All of a sudden these new concepts stopped churning within you, and a new reality is born: You and the concepts are one. They have literally become you. You have become them.

Today, you have 100% of your life left.