FastSaying

Wish I could, through my own financial prestidigitation, transform a dollar bill into two, or two million. It is an awesome and mysterious skill.


Michael Ian Black

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BLACK ELK It's a big thing now: A lot of people want to be assistants to celebrities. If you're pursui...
LEWIS BLACK I love books and the latest autobiographies. I'm a Gemini and love being with people, but then a...
CILLA BLACK I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.
LEWIS BLACK Perhaps the gravest under-publicized atrocity in the world is the persecution of Christians.
CONRAD BLACK I was one of those little girls who practiced signing autographs since I was 5 years old.
REBECCA BLACK Anybody who likes writing a book is an idiot. Because it's impossible; it's like having a ho...
LEWIS BLACK I humbly apologise for reality Television.
CILLA BLACK I'm apolitical. Where all that Conservative business came along from, I don't know.
CILLA BLACK I am falling apart. My hand is falling apart. I can't shake hands. I had arthritis, and I had an...
CILLA BLACK You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.
LEWIS BLACK Someday I would like to be the kind of writer who barrels through a draft, but I can't even seem...
HOLLY BLACK The Founding Fathers gave the free press the protection it must have to bare the secrets of governme...
HUGO BLACK I think that many things that go on in an art school have a tendency to undermine confidence, and th...
LEWIS BLACK Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas.
LEWIS BLACK People would be a lot better off if they'd enjoy being single.
LEWIS BLACK One thing I know about the rich, being rich, is that you can take money from me and tomorrow, I'...
LEWIS BLACK If Beethoven and Bach hooked up with Mozart and made a band, they could be a distant runner up to Th...
JACK BLACK Men are dark animals. Women are the same. But if the females wish to survive, they need to mate with...
ROBERT BLACK I'm fairly certain that YOLO is just Carpe Diem for stupid people.
JACK BLACK Big don't mean ugly, and thin sho don't mean pretty. If a person wants to be pretty, they gotta walk...
DANIEL BLACK