Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.

Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.