FastSaying

With roasting, you've really got to bring your A-game. I hate to admit it, but I probably think and obsess more about the roasts than my own series. Because there's so much attention focused on the roasts. It's like the 'Super Bowl' of comedy. Everybody is going to talk about it. Forever.


Jeff Ross

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CARROT TOP

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JONATHAN ROSS I asked Ring Lardner the other day how he writes his short stories, and he said he wrote a few widel...
HAROLD ROSS Editing is the same as quarrelling with writers - same thing exactly.
HAROLD ROSS Business is not just doing deals; business is having great products, doing great engineering, and pr...
ROSS PEROT I believe, I believe every day is a good day when you paint.
BOB ROSS War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules.
ROSS PEROT There are not many people on Team Gary. Actually, it's two people. My kids.
GARY ROSS The dynamic range of a digital camera is not that much greater than film, particularly if you push t...
GARY ROSS My '50s were different than other people's '50s. The myth didn't permeate our world,...
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GARY ROSS Despite recent speculation in the media, and after difficult but sincere consideration, I have decid...
GARY ROSS In a complex and troubling world, who wouldn't want to simplify? Everybody does. Everybody wants...
GARY ROSS There's something so wonderful about writing in rhyme where it isn't just the meaning of the...
GARY ROSS Family entertainment is really very necessary in our culture. Look how profitable they are. It's...
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GARY ROSS Ultimately, so much Dr. Seuss is about empowerment. He invites us to disappear into our imagination ...
GARY ROSS Really, each era has its own false nostalgia. We all put a picket fence up around something. For my ...
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ROSS LYNCH All we had aboard the ship that morning was one Annapolis graduate and three reserves.
BARNEY ROSS Destroyers did not have chaplains because they were too small.
BARNEY ROSS I was 20 years old at Pearl Harbor. I was in the Navy about a year and four months before the war.
BARNEY ROSS It was lucky for me. It wasn't lucky for the nine people that got killed and the 20 that were in...
BARNEY ROSS They got word that the Japanese planes were coming back, so we sunk her ourselves so the Japanese wo...
BARNEY ROSS We got orders to strike the Marshall and Gilbert Islands. We had a task force with the Enterprise. W...
BARNEY ROSS Everything was black in the harbor, but there were still some fires burning on the ships.
BARNEY ROSS I had been out there long enough. I had not seen my family for four years.
BARNEY ROSS I'd get a shell, they weighed about 80 pounds I think, but when I was 19 or 20 that was nothing....
BARNEY ROSS Our duty was to try and find the Japanese fleet. We never did find the Japanese fleet and I am awful...
BARNEY ROSS We managed to get underway, and I don't know to this day why we didn't get struck or take a ...
BARNEY ROSS We were very fortunate that the carriers weren't in the harbor.
BARNEY ROSS After the atomic bombs were dropped, the war ended and we went into Tokyo Bay with the rest of the f...
BARNEY ROSS I was standing on the deck of the USS Blue, a destroyer. We were all alone out there at this buoy, t...
BARNEY ROSS You can't buy something which does not exist. In a way, let's make things exist and then jud...
ROSS LOVEGROVE When the hot East Texas summer days begin, the stations will again look to the community to help hun...
AL ROSS Each year, over 900 young women in East Texas find themselves in a desperate situation and faced wit...
AL ROSS She was at a concert in Dallas and the emcee got sick. She volunteered to emcee and she stole the sh...
AL ROSS One of the reasons we were able to do this at this price is that we're celebrating our 20th annivers...
AL ROSS A concert like this for four bucks is unheard of. These guys usually get $20 to $40 for tickets.
AL ROSS The madness of spring is so enticing. I love it when things are opening up and emerging from the gro...
ROSS GAY This year was an amazing effort by the uphill group. Road Conditions were slower with washboard sect...
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ALAN ROSS The athletic department for the most part stands on its own. The parents and the fundraisers are a b...
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ALAN ROSS I think there could be more designs, ... It looks kind of bland.
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ALAN ROSS No good deed goes unpunished.
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HUGH ROSS You cannot just keep borrowing more and more and keep spending more and more without eventually havi...
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ADRIAN ROSS This proves workers must become priority creditors, and administrators should consult unions before ...
ADRIAN ROSS This proves that workers must become priority creditors, and administrators should consult with unio...
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ADGER ROSS We want to try and prevent this from happening again. We love our city and want it safe.
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ROSS CALIGIURI Eleanor had heard talk of the rebellion that existed inside the city of Constance before. Most of th...
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ROSS CALIGIURI Cherish your existence, for memories become legacies and life can change in an instant.
ROSS CALIGIURI Every decision you make in life will stem from one of two options: love or fear. Choose love.
ROSS CALIGIURI Eternity will not cause our memories to fade, it will force our hearts to accept the past.
ROSS CALIGIURI To struggle against the weight of sleep as reality eclipses the moon of your dreams is the purest si...
ROSS CALIGIURI My dream is to create something so beautiful that it encourages people to present the best version o...
ROSS CALIGIURI To completely understand me you must first accept that I am not you.
ROSS CALIGIURI If you feel like you don't fit into the world you inherited it is because you were born to help crea...
ROSS CALIGIURI If a man can see both sides of a problem, you know that none of his money is tied up in it.
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PERCY ROSS You can't just sit there and wait for people to give you that golden dream. You've got to get out th...
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RUTH ROSS In this game, by trying to win; you automatically lose.
RUTH ROSS Why not spend some time determining what is worthwhile for us, and then go after that?
WILLIAM ROSS Instead of looking at the past, I put myself ahead twenty years and try to look at what I need to do...
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PERCY ROSS The world is full of genies waiting to grant your wishes.
PERCY ROSS You've got to ask! Asking is, in my opinion, the world's most powerful -- and neglected -- secret to...
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ANDREW ROSS Successful diplomacy is an alignment of objectives and means.
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DIANA ROSS The gunner's mate came up and started breaking the locks on the ammunition. Everything was locke...
BARNEY ROSS I'm allergic to cats, so I'm psychologically wired to associating kittens with itchy eyes an...
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ROSS BUTLER I'm involved in everything from highly progressive lighting systems to airline interiors. In the...
ROSS LOVEGROVE Fundamentalist Christians, adhering to what is termed 'creation science,' loudly promote the...
HUGH ROSS Google has been amazing at acqui-hiring, buying small companies for the engineers. I think in the co...
ROSS LEVINSOHN There are no mistakes, only happy accidents.
BOB ROSS Love yourself, whatever makes you different, and use it to make you stand out. Mine is my voice and ...
ROSS MATHEWS The activist is not the man who says the river is dirty. The activist is the man who cleans up the r...
ROSS PEROT As time goes by the memories of sitting on the edge of a bed and reading aloud with your kid are goi...
GARY ROSS When there's trouble in a family, it tends to show up in the weakest member. And all the other m...
ROSS MACDONALD My mum had this idea I was going to be this long-haired hippie playing guitar and bought me one when...
LIBERTY ROSS I mean, what is racism? Racism is a projection of our own fears onto another person. What is sexism?...
GARY ROSS The belief is growing on me that the disease is communicated by the bite of the mosquito... She alwa...
RONALD ROSS There's something about beautiful moments in sports that alters our experience of time. And I...
ROSS GAY You can't just sit there and wait for people to give you that golden dream. You've got to ge...
DIANA ROSS When the weather's good, there's no better place to be than the British countryside.
ROSS KEMP I have a lot of random hobbies.
ROSS BUTLER At the end of the day we've got to put it at the back of our minds, although we are doing it for Ste...
BEN ROSS I'm pretty disappointed. I was looking forward to this game and I'm pretty down at the moment. I was...
BEN ROSS I think it is a very positive indication that change is in the wind.
BEN ROSS We need to take a reality check. All of this is pretty far out.
BEN ROSS We?re looking at several options to help curb the traffic that will be caused by the Wal-Mart. The t...
BEN ROSS I know it's a big deal for the athletic department to make money, but it kind of stings when you're ...
BEN ROSS My initial reaction was that they were putting us in the cheap seats, so they could give the good se...
BEN ROSS Everybody's gone through high school; everybody understands that dynamic. Some people have a gre...
ROSS BUTLER People see you on television, and they think you make the same amount of money that Clint Eastwood d...
BOB ROSS Modern design becomes the eye catcher because it's out of context, it is something newborn and f...
ROSS LOVEGROVE This is consistent with the administration's priorities to invest in programs that support education...
ANDREW ROSS It will allow consumers to spend money on other things, which helps the economy. It will reduce poll...
ANDREW ROSS This is recognition that the Navy is implicitly accepting a supporting role in the global war on ter...
ANDREW ROSS But the other choice was to do something radically different.
ANDREW ROSS These are projects that preceded this administration, ... Many were partially paid. And we're (now) ...
ANDREW ROSS We put all our money in this. It's a very entrepreneurial decision.
ANDREW ROSS The current budget reflects this administration's current priorities. They wanted a budget that give...
ANDREW ROSS Too many of these projects were promised money without the money to cover the cost of them.
ANDREW ROSS You can have two family members disrupt everything that's going on, but you can have 15 who are well...
ANDREW ROSS Damon's a very intelligent character, ... I certainly wouldn't bet against him having planned it all...
ANDY ROSS A band like Franz Ferdinand are very interesting, ... but a band influenced by Franz Ferdinand are o...
ANDY ROSS I don't know if the industry ever learns,
ANDY ROSS Sometimes it does feel like the whole industry is eating itself,
ANDY ROSS She never complained about it. She loved those kids.
ANGELA ROSS We're all spread out now. We just come here - it's just like she was Big Mama.
ANGELA ROSS She always looked out for us and wanted to make sure we were taken care of.
ANGELA ROSS (Faulkner) was the backbone of the family.
ANGELA ROSS She's done an OK job under the circumstances. She's had to deal with some pretty heavy-handed commun...
ANN ROSS We have everything from a lawn tractor to jewelry to furniture, music and entertainment items, child...
ANN ROSS I really believe that I'm a miracle.
ANN ROSS The chances of me getting lung cancer at age 40 were really nil. Then to be hit with stage four, it'...
ANN ROSS It has always been, and still is, my intention to build a playground in Central Park.
DIANA ROSS Life is like a cobweb, not an organization chart.
ROSS PEROT I'd get a shell, they weighed about 80 pounds I think, but when I was 19 or 20 that was nothing. I'd...
BARNEY ROSS I did not really know what to do. The searchlight was my battle station, but there was no need to be...
BARNEY ROSS All destroyers at that time had about 200 men. A destroyer was rough riding, and with the rough weat...
BARNEY ROSS I'm feeling pretty good right now, though I can never be totally satisfied with myself. But that's w...
ANNIE ROSS Cranks was a huge success in London. It was Princess Margaret's favourite show, so she brought her s...
ANNIE ROSS Jack Hylton said: 'I want you, I want you, but I can't offer you the part it's for a 35-year-old wom...
ANNIE ROSS I asked the producer who else is doing the show. And he replied: 'Dorothy Paul, and, of course, McLe...
ANNIE ROSS I asked the producer who else is doing the show. And he replied: 'Dorothy Paul, and, of course, McLe...
ANNIE ROSS Right now, we have almost no customers in that market,
ANNE ROSS He's having problems making the decision.
ANNE ROSS He's in excruciating pain every day, and he chooses to go to work every day.
ANNE ROSS The rate increase we're seeing for Unitil customers is the largest increase we've seen in electric r...
ANNE ROSS