Worm or beetle - drought or tempest - on a farmer's land may fall, Each is loaded full o' ruin, but a mortgage beats 'em all.


Will Carleton

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Joy comes from using your potential.
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Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committ...
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Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
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I've been collecting articles on extremophile bacteria for at least the last ten years. I find t...
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It's great to be great, but it's greater to be human.
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Diplomats are just as essential in starting a war as soldiers are in finishing it.
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Do anything in this world but monkey with somebody eles's religion. What reasoning of conceit makes ...
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Fanatical religion driven to a certain point is almost as bad as none at all, but not quite.
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It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
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I think hopefully we've got enough brain cells left to decide if our music is really worth somet...
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Strangers are just friends I haven't met yet.
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I need to try and get away from that brat role, or people are going to think I'm a natural brat.
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Having no applicable skills, in any possible area whatsoever, effectively makes me the master of red...
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I flow like a butter in the nailed pan I stole. I also kept the nail, to polish and use as a means o...
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In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You bein...
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The person with the best job in the country is the vice president. All he has to do is get up every ...
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I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
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I tell you folks, all politics is applesauce.
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Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space.
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The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
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This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried...
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The reason political party platforms are so long is that when you straddle anything it takes a long ...
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If you ever injected truth into politics, you would have no politics.
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It is no longer enough to be lusty. One must be a sexual gourmet.
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Live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
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America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.
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There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
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There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get off the thing that he was educated in.
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Education is the transmission of civilization.
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There is nothing as stupid as an educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
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Education is a progressive discovery of our ignorance.
WILL DURANT
Regard yourself as a small corporation of one. Take yourself off on team-building exercises (long wa...
WILL SELF
Quinns always come at half price, about half the time, and half-naked, even during the colder half o...
WILL ADVISE
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
WILL ROGERS
Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the th...
WILL SMITH
There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
WILL ROGERS
I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good.
WILL ROGERS
Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
WILL ROGERS
Too many people are buying things they can't afford, with money that they don't have... to impress p...
WILL SMITH
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
WILL ROGERS
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
WILL ROGERS
One must be a lotus to emerge from mucky waters clean.
WILL ADVISE
Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
WILL ROGERS
Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who re...
WILL SMITH
America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, badass speed.
WILL FERRELL
The greatest gift you can give anyone is your undivided attention...
WILL SCHWALBE
I will never joke about old soldiers who try to get to reunions to talk over the war again. To talk ...
WILL ROGERS
It is said that God gave us memory so we could have roses in winter. But it is also true that withou...
GEORGE WILL
The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
WILL ROGERS
You never know how much a man can't remember until he is called as a witness.
WILL ROGERS
Moral codes adjust themselves to environmental conditions.
WILL DURANT
Aristotle is famous for knowing everything. He taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood...
WILL CUPPY
The trouble with most people is that they think with their hopes or fears or wishes, rather than the...
WILL DURANT
She is so totally absorbed in a vocation -- both a gift and a mastering passion -- that she has no t...
GEORGE WILL
Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough to ruin every enjoymen...
WILL ROGERS
A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
WILL ROGERS
Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion.
WILL ROGERS
All I know is just what I read in the papers.
WILL ROGERS
Republicans study the financial pages of the newspaper. Democrats put them in the bottom of the bird...
WILL STANTON
Pessimism is as American as apple pie. Frozen apple pie with a slice of processed cheese.
GEORGE WILL
The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasa...
GEORGE WILL
The pursuit of perfection often impedes improvement.
GEORGE WILL
It may be true that you can't fool all the people all the time, but you can fool enough of them to r...
WILL DURANT