Yesterday is a pile of rubble. Today is a pile of opportunity. Life takes a new dump each morning

I've never written a quote I feel would be suitable for my gravestone. Wouldn't it be ironic if it were this one? Oh, and could you pull a few weeds while you're here?

Get high on love, not drugs.

I'm friends with a guy who is friends with a former Playboy model. So I guess you could say I'm 1 degree away from 212 degrees.

I enjoy self-publishing & sending publishers rejection letters. They're like, 'Who is this guy?' And I'm like, 'the end of your industry.

The easiest way to remember your future wife’s birthday is to marry her on Super Bowl Sunday.