You can get away with saying much more with humor than you can with a straight face

Anytime a woman competes with another woman she demeans herself.

Once you start laughing, you start healing.

Don't ever settle for a man who won't labor for love.

There is a fundamental difference between men and women - women need romance, men need intrigue.

Here's what I have to say about being married: someday you will look at him, hating him with every fiber of your being, wishing that he would die the most violent death possible. It will pass."

--Hannah Horvath's dying grandmother