You can't sit down in a bachelor's house without getting sick with cooties from the dirt and built-up grime, but you can eat off the barrel of his gun.

No clean hands ever gotten a clean room

Our assholes will be clean but we must never wash our hands. Our immune systems will be strengthened by our being dirty. Not filthy. Just mildly grimy. Filthy fingernails have always been a favorite fashion accessory of mine. Especially when you place your hands in the prayer positions. Matter of fact, I urge all my followers to forgo nail polish permanently and replace it with expertly applied soot. The nonexistent gods above will ignore our prayers better this way.

If a clean heart wears dirty clothes, it will still look clean! If a dirty heart wears clean clothes, it will still look dirty!

I hate the world. Everything comes into it so clean and goes out so dirty. (from COVER CHARGE - currently not listed)

This shirt is dry clean only. Which means...it's dirty.