You don't need to know this - but here goes: due to some acquired infantilism, I feel compelled to fall asleep listening to the radio. On a good night, I'll push the frail barque of my psyche off into the waters of Lethe accompanied by the midnight newsreader - on a bad one, it's the shipping forecast.


Will Self

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

Are you taking us to the beach?" - Dan Cahill
JUDE WATSON
It looks ancient," - Amy Cahill
JUDE WATSON
It SMELLS ancient," - Dan Cahill
JUDE WATSON
Palm trees were fanned by a warm, light breeze, and they rolled down their windows to smell the sea.
JUDE WATSON
Friendship is a double-edged sword one side it can be great and true but the other side it spells be...
GARY F EVANS...
How should I know?" said Alice, surprised at her own courage. "It's no business of mine."
The Q...
LEWIS CARROLL
The unfortunate thing is that, sometimes, we slip, but, fortunately, consciously or unconsciously, w...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH
I will not read the last page of novels first," I said, and then punched myself in the face.
"...
BRANDON SANDERSON
I don't know if I have a favorite color.
KATE MIDDLETON
It's very special having a new little girl.
KATE MIDDLETON
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This had made many people very angry and has been wi...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
Congratulations, to the people which made gotham series, still need some more and extra work!
DEYTH BANGER
To have the cognitive abilities to do research and development is vital to a forever expanding world...
GARY F EVANS...
The first and foremost human right or fundamental right is the right to exist.
APURVA GAGLANI
If we ever put research into what the subconscious is we could probably come to the conclusion that ...
GARY F EVANS...
i know im not the girl you wanted. not the one you want to hear from. but what you see is what you g...
SIMI GREWAL
Some people never take a chance and never know what it's like to live life to the full.
CHLOE THURLOW
He muttered something foul and then climbed the stairs, rapping twice on Timmie’s door.
“Ri...
JEANIENE FROST
It's all to do with the training: you can do a lot if you're properly trained.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
Like all best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
My husband has quite simply been my strength and stay all these years, and I owe him a debt greater ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
It is easy enough to define what the Commonwealth is not. Indeed this is quite a popular pastime.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I have to be seen to be believed.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I have in sincerity pledged myself to your service, as so many of you are pledged to mine. Throughou...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I hope that tomorrow we can all, wherever we are, join in expressing our grief at Diana's loss, ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I myself prefer my New Zealand eggs for breakfast.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
The British constitution has always been puzzling and always will be.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I have behind me not only the splendid traditions and the annals of more than a thousand years but t...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
To what greater inspiration and counsel can we turn than to the imperishable truth to be found in th...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
What were once only hopes for the future have now come to pass; it is almost exactly 13 years since ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
First, I want to pay tribute to Diana myself. She was an exceptional and gifted human being. In good...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I cannot lead you into battle. I do not give you laws or administer justice but I can do something e...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
To all those who have suffered as a consequence of our troubled past I extend my sincere thoughts an...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
Grief is the price we pay for love.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
The upward course of a nation's history is due in the long run to the soundness of heart of its ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
At its heart, engineering is about using science to find creative, practical solutions. It is a nobl...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
At Christmas, I am always struck by how the spirit of togetherness lies also at the heart of the Chr...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
For many, Christmas is also a time for coming together. But for others, service will come first.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
The lessons from the peace process are clear; whatever life throws at us, our individual responses w...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I declare before you all that my whole life, whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your s...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
Therefore I am sure that this, my Coronation, is not the symbol of a power and a splendor that are g...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
We lost the American colonies because we lacked the statesmanship to know the right time and the man...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
Madam President, speaking here in Dublin Castle it is impossible to ignore the weight of history, as...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
These wretched babies don't come until they are ready.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I know of no single formula for success. But over the years I have observed that some attributes of ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
The events that I have attended to mark my Diamond Jubilee have been a humbling experience. It has t...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
In remembering the appalling suffering of war on both sides, we recognise how precious is the peace ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
No one who knew Diana will ever forget her. Millions of others who never met her, but felt they knew...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I have been aware all the time that my peoples, spread far and wide throughout every continent and o...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
Let's head out to the ruins." - Dan Cahill
ROLAND SMITH
Don't you ever get the feeling that all your life is going by and you're not taking advantage of it?...
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
We'll sort of get over the marriage first and then maybe look at the kids. But obviously we want...
PRINCE WILLIAM
Family is the most important thing in the world.
PRINCESS DIANA
You philosophers are lucky men. You write on paper and paper is patient. Unfortunate Empress that I ...
CATHERINE THE GREAT
With the right help, children have a good chance of overcoming their issues while they are still you...
KATE MIDDLETON
As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.
KING SOLOMON
I don't mind a big fascinator. I think there is more scope for artwork in a fascinator rather th...
ZARA PHILLIPS
I was always told from the hat-makers that you should have your hair up because it shows the hat mor...
ZARA PHILLIPS
I don't think I'll still be riding at 40. There are a couple of people who are still riding ...
ZARA PHILLIPS
My dad's not a big talker.
ZARA PHILLIPS
My dad can be pretty critical sometimes.
ZARA PHILLIPS
I'd love to have kids, but not at the moment.
ZARA PHILLIPS
You cannot make horses 'safe.'
ZARA PHILLIPS
Virtually everything that gets printed about me is wrong anyway, so it doesn't really matter wha...
ZARA PHILLIPS
It's stupid to say that I don't like being in the public eye, but I don't like doing stu...
ZARA PHILLIPS
I'm an affectionate person.
ZARA PHILLIPS
People still text me to say that there is something about me in the paper, and what really annoys me...
ZARA PHILLIPS
Sometimes people will come up in the street and say: 'My daughter loves you, will you sign an au...
ZARA PHILLIPS
Taking part in an Olympics on home ground is something you dream about.
ZARA PHILLIPS
My brother and I have been able to get on and have been very lucky to do things with our family that...
ZARA PHILLIPS
I don't think about the media.
ZARA PHILLIPS
I love the sport and being competitive.
ZARA PHILLIPS
The horses are all characters, all personalities. Some you get along with, some you don't, some ...
ZARA PHILLIPS
I hate having my picture taken.
ZARA PHILLIPS
Unfortunately in sport it's either good or bad. You've got to take the highs and the lows.
ZARA PHILLIPS
My mother is massively into sailing, so we always had Musto clothes, and it went on from there, real...
ZARA PHILLIPS
The senior members of the royal family work very hard and I don't think people quite realise tha...
ZARA PHILLIPS
In our sport you're very lucky to find a horse of a lifetime and I found mine relatively early. ...
ZARA PHILLIPS
I don't have a stylist, and I do most of my shopping online, just because it's easier. I don...
ZARA PHILLIPS
I think Facebook's dangerous. So many people I know get into trouble with Facebook... I'd ra...
ZARA PHILLIPS
I'm not a princess anyway so I find that quite weird to be labelled as one.
ZARA PHILLIPS
Smoking is hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, and dangerous to the lungs.
KING JAMES I
My dear mamma is quite right when she says that we must lay down principles and not depart from them...
MARIE ANTOINETTE
I never make a trip to the United States without visiting a supermarket. To me they are more fascina...
WALLIS SIMPSON
PS: It's all gossip about the prince. I'm not in the habit of taking my girlfriends' bea...
WALLIS SIMPSON
I am so anxious for you not to abdicate and I think the fact that you do is going to put me in the w...
WALLIS SIMPSON
I hate this place. I shall hate it to my grave.
WALLIS SIMPSON
I look a hundred and weigh 110 - you won't love me when you see the wreck England has made me.
WALLIS SIMPSON
A woman's life can really be a succession of lives, each revolving around some emotionally compe...
WALLIS SIMPSON
Never explain, never complain.
WALLIS SIMPSON
You have no idea how hard it is to live out a great romance.
WALLIS SIMPSON
I have always had the courage for the new things that life sometimes offers.
WALLIS SIMPSON
For a gallant spirit there can never be defeat.
WALLIS SIMPSON
Forgive me for not writing but this man is exhausting.
WALLIS SIMPSON
You can never be too rich or too thin.
WALLIS SIMPSON
A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
KING SOLOMON
It seems to me that man is made to act rather than to know: the principles of things escape our most...
FREDERICK THE GREAT
Addiction is a hugely complex and destructive disease, and its impact can be simply devastating. All...
KATE MIDDLETON
There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.
MARIE ANTOINETTE

More Will Self

I am a regular, if not exactly enthusiastic, patron of my local bookshop. I try to buy at least some...
WILL SELF
It is fair to say that insofar as sport is taken seriously by those who play it, then to that extent...
WILL SELF
One of the most heartening phenomena in today's Britain is the great diversity of the modern ner...
WILL SELF
As a bookish adolescent, I sopped up texts as if I were blotting paper and they were fluid.
WILL SELF
Regard yourself as a small corporation of one. Take yourself off on team-building exercises (long wa...
WILL SELF
If the government announced that it was going to allocate a vast tranche of education funding purely...
WILL SELF
Some people have human muses - mine is a city. I feel a startling ambivalence towards London, but fo...
WILL SELF
Sometimes, when I hear people without experience of addiction blame addicts for their behaviour, I f...
WILL SELF
Instead of looking at individual buildings, it makes more metaphorical sense to think of New York as...
WILL SELF
A creative life cannot be sustained by approval any more than it can be destroyed by criticism.
WILL SELF
You know that sickening feeling of inadequacy and over-exposure you feel when you look upon your own...
WILL SELF
When anyone starts out to do something creative - especially if it seems a little unusual - they see...
WILL SELF
In survey after survey, people report that the greatest dangers they face are, in this order: terror...
WILL SELF
With spectacular events taking up so much of the available anxiety quotient, we need to be constantl...
WILL SELF
In truth, even if they have an imperfect insight into their own methods, I still slightly mistrust w...
WILL SELF
Modernism has a reputation for being a forbidding phenomenon: its visual arts disconcertingly non-re...
WILL SELF
Continuous present is all we have, and stream of consciousness - which in a novel is arguably just a...
WILL SELF
My novels tend to come about from a fusion of two big ideas, creating a critical mass that then fiss...
WILL SELF
The main differences between contemporary English and American literature is that the baleful pseudo...
WILL SELF
I'm an anarchist. I'm implacably opposed to heirarchical systems of power and control. I als...
WILL SELF
It might be an idea for all literary critics to read the books they analyse aloud - it certainly hel...
WILL SELF
I always wanted to write fiction. Always. As far back as I can remember it's been integral to my...
WILL SELF
I prefer to write first drafts as soon as possible after waking, so that the oneiric inscape is stil...
WILL SELF
A very beautiful young woman once asked me to sign her breasts. That was back when I was a hip young...
WILL SELF
I can't remember who it was who advocated that you should march with the left and dine with the ...
WILL SELF
So heedless have we become of our own image that second-hand mobile phones now invariably come with ...
WILL SELF
Television is the same as the telephone, and the same as the World Wide Web for that matter. People ...
WILL SELF
Just as the blurring between childhood and adulthood has produced the kidult, so the stretching of m...
WILL SELF
Political activists of all stripes are usually a wacky bunch, and never more so than in a system lik...
WILL SELF
Nowadays, my mood ungoverned, I'm free to think the most outrageous things, such as: might it no...
WILL SELF
So I was smacked out on the Prime Minister's jet, big deal.
WILL SELF
As a species, we're addicted to the facile discrimination involved in saying that something or p...
WILL SELF
Who'd want to be a modernist writer in the English-speaking world?
WILL SELF
I don't think in terms of that bizarre tautology 'value for money' in my literary and jo...
WILL SELF
I'd rather fiddle with my phone for precious seconds than neglect an apostrophe; I'd rather ...
WILL SELF
For myself, I haven't been content to carry on producing books that merely strain against the co...
WILL SELF
The great liberty of the fictional writer is to let the imagination out of the traces and see it gal...
WILL SELF
Sometimes it occurs to me that the job of a serious cultural critic mostly consists in telling the g...
WILL SELF
Life, it is true, can be grasped in all its confused futility merely by opening one's eyes and s...
WILL SELF
The life of the professional writer - like that of any freelance, whether she be a plumber or a podi...
WILL SELF
The British and American literary worlds operate in an odd kind of symbiosis: our critics think our ...
WILL SELF
What the British seem to like are television historians and naturalists, not public intellectuals. Y...
WILL SELF
I've said it before - and I'll say it again: it always seems to me that we come to know our ...
WILL SELF
I like texting as much as the next kidult - and embrace it as yet more evidence, along with email, t...
WILL SELF
What more chilling indictment of the modern world is there than this: that the condition of the smar...
WILL SELF
It would seem that I, who never could make much sense of physics when I was at school, have now gain...
WILL SELF
Like all right-listening folk, I am an implacable enemy of all muzak.
WILL SELF
As for critical writing about modernism, its moments of lucidity are but fulgurations illuminating t...
WILL SELF
The paradox of modernism is, writers make the decision to work with the continuous present, and to w...
WILL SELF
A party full of 'likeable' people doesn't bear contemplating.
WILL SELF
There's a flip side to having prominent public intellectuals, which is that they start meddling ...
WILL SELF
If we bought everything on the Internet, our eyes and mouths and nostrils would probably begin to fi...
WILL SELF
I'm English enough to feel something of a gut-reaction to modernism, to continental philosophisi...
WILL SELF
Vaughn's vision is older, wiser and harder than Ritchie's [on film Layer Cake]
WILL SELF
Certainly, for time out of mind, an obsessive dwelling on happier former days has been synonymous wi...
WILL SELF
The only proper suit-and-tie job I've had in my life was the two years in the late 1980s when I ...
WILL SELF
To purposely concoct older characters of a sunny disposition would be as much of a solecism as delib...
WILL SELF
Always carry a notebook. And I mean always. The short-term memory only retains information for three...
WILL SELF
Is there anything more useless than a crouton? I sometimes wake up in the small hours with a start a...
WILL SELF
Once the working classes were in chains, now they're in chain restaurants.
WILL SELF
I can't throw anything away. Anything. I'm going to end up like one of those old weirdos who...
WILL SELF
I write as someone who has no more time for repressive Islam than he does for repressive Christianit...
WILL SELF
Most of us have had that experience - at around puberty - of realising that, despite whatever effort...
WILL SELF
In our benighted age, when films about amusement park rides and electronic fidgets scoop the honours...
WILL SELF
It could be argued that every age gets the comfort savagery writer it deserves.
WILL SELF
A short story is a shard, a sliver, a vignette. It's a biopsy on the human condition but it does...
WILL SELF
Of course, with well-masticated food playing the role of social glue, it's absolutely essential ...
WILL SELF
That tertiary education is under a sustained assault by a political and - it often seems - social co...
WILL SELF
The writing life is essentially one of solitary confinement - if you can't deal with this, you n...
WILL SELF
Not only is the statistical madness an assault on individuality, it's also one on temporality to...
WILL SELF
I think I now understand why it is that the young are so very nostalgic. They have so little by way ...
WILL SELF
The fictional work is a kind of actor that wears a satirical garb but can put on other costumes as w...
WILL SELF
I explained to him - as I withdrew the cup, ripped open the sachet and dunked the tea bag - that tea...
WILL SELF
He's a ball mover. It's not that our offense has been so slow ... we ran the same stuff when he was ...
BILL SELF
The young guys ... they have been playing ample minutes in my opinion.
BILL SELF
I don't know if one player spurred it (team chemistry) on more than others, but I do think Russell R...
BILL SELF
You look at the four teams that tied with six wins, any of those teams can do some damage. Certainly...
BILL SELF
He'll wear a splint when he's not practicing. (On the court) he'll tape it up and be fine.
BILL SELF
We played great offensively. We made shots. The offense looks a lot better, and certainly we did (sh...
BILL SELF
I was very disappointed in our toughness. We were not very tough tonight.
BILL SELF
In my opinion when you have depth, you should be able to sit guys with two fouls. We subbed with nin...
BILL SELF
Teams learn how to win when they're not playing well and this team did that against Oklahoma. It's a...
BILL SELF
I think he's just scratching the surface of how good he can be.
BILL SELF
I think ASU has done everything it can. Now, it's a matter of changing Board of Regents policy and A...
CASEY SELF
What's really bothering and frustrating is that other public entities can do it, but because of pure...
CASEY SELF
My partner is 11 years older than me, and I'd like for him to be able to retire.
CASEY SELF
ASU is trying to recruit top-notch faculty, and this is what stops many of them.
CASEY SELF
You want to beat them on the court, or on the field. But after that, there is a strong fraternity of...
BILL SELF
He got a good one. If he was a boxer, they would have called the fight. I don't know how many (stitc...
BILL SELF
I felt we should have attacked the basket. It worked out perfect. We got the ball to Keith. He had p...
BILL SELF
I am most pleased with J.R. and Keith combining for 10 assists and only one turnovers. That's the ki...
BILL SELF
I didn't know that senator Dole had followed it that close. I was thrilled. He really knew quite a b...
BILL SELF
If you're not a one or two seed, the difference between the teams is minimal.
BILL SELF
Just because guys have been here before, they are not going to have the upper hand,
BILL SELF
I know it hurts. It crushed him. But if the kid isn't tough, how can a walk-on kid from Asheville, N...
BILL SELF
With the game evolving into so many ball screens and stretching defenses, you're so much harder to g...
BILL SELF
You go back to the real world, which can be a grind.
BRAD SELF
I was at the courthouse to vote this morning. I parked in the far reaches of the parking lot I notic...
KEITH SELF
Brandon's got to be a playmaker for us. When you're shooting 60 percent from three, you need to be t...
BILL SELF
Julian's going to have some turnovers because of the way he plays, and we're going to have to live w...
BILL SELF
I don't think panic's set in by any means. But in fans' minds, they're thinking it's awful early to ...
BILL SELF
I was disappointed in how we played not how we lost because Arizona's a great team. I thought we mig...
BILL SELF
I was disappointed in how we played not how we lost because Arizona's a great team, ... I thought we...
BILL SELF
We're going to be faster as a team. I think we could be a much better offensive rebounding team,
BILL SELF
What happens on the Internet is some (players) are sensitive and some guys aren't. Some guys look at...
BILL SELF
Brandon and his family rightfully have been waiting for positive feedback from the NCAA Clearinghous...
BILL SELF
All reports we have received indicate Rodrick had no involvement in the altercation other than him b...
BILL SELF
On the way down, I'm a big sleeper. I read magazines - nothing too hard.
BRAD SELF
To speak on this very issue is perilous. I want to ask one simple question. This year, the homosexua...
BILL SELF
He's hard to guard because he's unorthodox. He doesn't have a good base yet. Guys can certainly disl...
BILL SELF
She came and took away all his miseries, his sorrows !!
Then SHe
went and left him restles...
DOUGLAS SELF
From my standpoint, this was sweeter than any of the other ones that I have had, because we started ...
BILL SELF
Certainly, from my stand point, this was sweeter than any of the other (victories) that we have had ...
BILL SELF
Halfway through the second half, (the Raiders) were physically tired because we were able to throw a...
BILL SELF
That's done. We don't need to be under the radar anymore; we need to be out there. It worked out rea...
BILL SELF
I called [Pete] to say, 'What's going on? You're calling everybody but me,' ... He told me they were...
BILL SELF
Based on reports we received on campus from housing and academics, he has fulfilled requirements to ...
BILL SELF
Sleepless nights, infinite random thoughts, Remembering those moments, he had much to say, an urge t...
DOUGLAS SELF
(Dennis) hit some from Washington County. Some of them I went, 'Why did you do that; oh, good shot.'...
RODNEY SELF
abundant feeling of your presence in front of Allah is enjoy full solitude state where you are in bo...
M.I.SHAIKH MY SELF
I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-f...
WILL FERRELL
I don't necessarily believe in organized religion.
WILL SMITH
I love being black in America, and especially being black in Hollywood.
WILL SMITH
When you create art, the world has to wait.
WILL SMITH
I have a great time with my life, and I wanna share it.
WILL SMITH
In my mind, I've always been an A-list Hollywood superstar. Y'all just didn't know yet.
WILL SMITH
You can cry, ain't no shame in it.
WILL SMITH
I've never really viewed myself as particularly talented. I've viewed myself as slightly abo...
WILL SMITH
I've trained myself to illuminate the things in my personality that are likable and to hide and ...
WILL SMITH
I don't know what my calling is, but I want to be here for a bigger reason. I strive to be like ...
WILL SMITH
We all want to be in love and find that person who is going to love us no matter how our feet smell,...
WILL SMITH
Whatever your dream is, every extra penny you have needs to be going to that.
WILL SMITH
I want the world to be better because I was here.
WILL SMITH
So if you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready, and that is how I run my life.
WILL SMITH
Life is lived on the edge.
WILL SMITH
If you're not willing to work hard, let someone else do it. I'd rather be with someone who d...
WILL SMITH
The first step is you have to say that you can.
WILL SMITH
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
WILL ROGERS
Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.
WILL ROGERS
There's so much negative imagery of black fatherhood. I've got tons of friends that are doin...
WILL SMITH
When liberty becomes license, dictatorship is near.
WILL DURANT
Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
WILL ROGERS
Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.
WILL ROGERS
The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.
WILL ROGERS
I really feel like the sky is the limit. I'm a dreamer, and I dream in full vivid color HD.
WILL PACKER
I'm a student of patterns. At heart, I'm a physicist. I look at everything in my life as try...
WILL SMITH
Civilization exists by geological consent, subject to change without notice.
WILL DURANT
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
WILL DURANT
And where I excel is ridiculous, sickening, work ethic. You know, while the other guy's sleeping...
WILL SMITH
Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
WILL ROGERS
I've always considered myself to be just average talent and what I have is a ridiculous insane o...
WILL SMITH
I try to speak my points of view about black America, and how I feel about black men and the role th...
WILL SMITH
It's quite highly possible that I have peaked. I mean, I just can't imagine what else I coul...
WILL SMITH
I am the black sheep of my family. They are all super talented and intelligent and got proper jobs. ...
WILL POULTER
The funny guy doesn't get the girl until later in life. High school, college, everyone still wan...
WILL FERRELL
I think the greatest all-around athlete ever was Jim Brown. He played lacrosse, basketball and ran t...
WILL MCDONOUGH
When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.
WILL ROGERS
One of my first memories of being a kid was, 'I want to have a real job when I grow up.' And...
WILL FERRELL
I just felt that I might to go to university and get some real life. It wasn't stimulating in th...
WILL POULTER
Somehow I got a place at Bristol University. I'm still waiting for the phone call to say that th...
WILL POULTER
My youngest brother and I went on a ten-day canoe trip in Bowron Provincial Park in British Columbia...
WILL HOBBS
I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give everybody a chance to get...
WILL ROGERS
I have no Politics. I am for the Party that is out of Power, no matter which one it is. But I will g...
WILL ROGERS
When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: I joked abo...
WILL ROGERS
Here it is, a New Year. We got to make some resolutions, as well as interest and tax payments in thi...
WILL ROGERS
Everybody is ignorant only on different subjects.
WILL ROGERS
Lord, the money we do spend on Government and its not one bit better than the government we got for ...
WILL ROGERS
There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you ...
WILL ROGERS
We can make this thing into a Party, instead of a Memory.
WILL ROGERS
Youve got to be an optimist to be a Democrat, and youve got to be a humorist to stay one.
WILL ROGERS
I am not a member of any organized partyI am a Democrat.
WILL ROGERS
And kid Congress and the Senate, dont scold em. They are just children thats never grown up. They do...
WILL ROGERS
I originated a remark many years ago that I think has been copied more than any little thing that Iv...
WILL ROGERS
I never met a man I didn't like.
WILL ROGERS
All politics takes place on a slippery slope. The most important four words in politics are up to a ...
GEORGE WILL
A politician's words reveal less about what he thinks about his subject than what he thinks about hi...
GEORGE WILL
Politics should share one purpose with religion: the steady emancipation of the individual through t...
GEORGE WILL
Joy comes from using your potential.
WILL SCHULTZ
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
WILL DURANT
When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds
WILL ROGERS
To appreciate heaven well, it's good for a person to have some fifteen minutes of hell.
WILL CARLETON
But I have learned a thing or two; I know as sure as fate, When we lock up our lives for wealth, t...
WILL CARLETON
The editor sat in his sanctum, his countenance furrowed with care, His mind at the bottom of busi...
WILL CARLETON
Overall, I think Michael Jordan is the greatest athlete in any particular sport. He dominated the ga...
WILL MCDONOUGH
I think with movies I am really connecting to the Joseph Campbell idea of the collective unconscious...
WILL SMITH
Never trust a duck.
WILL HERONDALE
By the time I was ready for college, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I think I secretly wante...
WILL FERRELL
Lobbyists have more offices in Washington than the President. You see, the President only tells Cong...
WILL ROGERS
Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committ...
GEORGE WILL
Saturday Night Live is such a comedy boot camp in a way, because you get to work with so many differ...
WILL FERRELL
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse ...
WILL ROGERS
Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
WILL ROGERS
I've been collecting articles on extremophile bacteria for at least the last ten years. I find t...
WILL HOBBS
You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people.
WILL ROGERS
It's great to be great, but it's greater to be human.
WILL ROGERS
I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give everybody chance to get s...
WILL ROGERS
The most interesting thing in the world is another human being who wonders, suffers and raises the q...
WILL DURANT
Diplomats are just as essential in starting a war as soldiers are in finishing it.
WILL ROGERS
Do anything in this world but monkey with somebody eles's religion. What reasoning of conceit makes ...
WILL ROGERS
Fanatical religion driven to a certain point is almost as bad as none at all, but not quite.
WILL ROGERS