You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave.

Life was a funny thing that occurred on the way to the grave

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.

Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are.

It's no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, 'Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.' By then, pigs will be your style.

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?