Carlos Mencia quote: "You know those pills like Viagra, well they say that if you have an erection for more than 36 hours consult your physician. Well, if you don't know what to do with your boner after 36 hours then you are a DE and your wife doesn't know what to do then she's a DA. You two shouldn't reproduce because then your kid's gonna be like DEDADE."

In all honesty, we don't know what's in the hearts of other men. All I know is that I respect comedy...
CARLOS MENCIA

I don't have the time to steal other people's material even if I wanted to, ... The reason why these...
CARLOS MENCIA

If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.
CARLOS MENCIA

You want to know the joke he thinks is stolen from him? It's a Taco Bell joke,
CARLOS MENCIA

You're Hispanic. You speak Spanish. You're doing ethnic jokes. Taco Bell is one of your first target...
CARLOS MENCIA

I am a product. . . . I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people...
CARLOS MENCIA

God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.
CARLOS MENCIA

I have little compassion for people in trailer parks who refuse tomove after getting tornado warning...
CARLOS MENCIA

Going there is paying your dues. You always have to pay your dues. . . . You've just got to do it. M...
CARLOS MENCIA

It is never okay to use the toilet with the door open...I never want to know what comes out of there...
CARLOS MENCIA

It's an investment, so to speak. It's that human contest. In five, 10 years, if I wanted to go back ...
CARLOS MENCIA

I have little compassion for people in trailer parks who refuse to
move after getting tornado wa...
CARLOS MENCIA

As human beings we do change, grow, adapt, perhaps even learn and become wiser.
WENDY CARLOS

I'm really a very weak musicologist. Wish it weren't so, but there's only so much you ca...
WENDY CARLOS

Composition has almost always been solitary.
WENDY CARLOS

A nice blend of prediction and surprise seem to be at the heart of the best art.
WENDY CARLOS

There's never one sunrise the same or one sunset the same.
CARLOS SANTANA

U.S. foreign policy is Manichaean. It's like a Hollywood movie. You have to know who has the whi...
CARLOS FUENTES

Under no circumstance is any proverbial player ever more significant than the collective.
CARLOS WALLACE

We continue to be bullish on China.
CARLOS GHOSN

First I opened a check account. I looked at the - I looked that there was nothing of yield. So I bou...
CARLOS SLIM

It's a society of knowledge and experience. You have better experience and knowledge when you ar...
CARLOS SLIM

My parents weren't artistic, but I was always surrounded by beautiful things. And Mexico is a co...
CARLOS SLIM

We really think highly of the executives at SBC. And Microsoft is one of the great companies of the ...
CARLOS SLIM

You don't need to raise taxes on rich people, because they create capitalization and investment....
CARLOS SLIM

In high school, I loved history. I also loved cosmography, algebra. Mexico is so rich in culture and...
CARLOS SLIM

If Wal-Mart invests a billion dollars and others invest $100 million, Wal-Mart is going to grow more...
CARLOS SLIM

We don't take anything when we pass away, and we need to do with the sense of responsibility.
CARLOS SLIM

Well, when I was very young, maybe 12 years, I began to make investments.
CARLOS SLIM

I think that anything that has privileges have responsibility and all people that is clear about the...
CARLOS SLIM

There are people who are good for letters and others that are good for numbers.
CARLOS SLIM

When I was very young, maybe 12 years, I began to make investments.
CARLOS SLIM

The artistic part of us all - I think that the easiest way to appreciate this - is through architect...
CARLOS SLIM

If you are in business, you are not enjoying. You are working.
CARLOS SLIM

How can you be on top of the things you do? I think when you are involved in a business, first of al...
CARLOS SLIM

Our philosophy is you need to give nonprofit money for health, nutrition, education, culture, and sp...
CARLOS SLIM

I've always said that the better off you are, the more responsibility you have for helping other...
CARLOS SLIM

At 25, I made many companies. I was thinking more like a businessman or entrepreneur than a CEO. I c...
CARLOS SLIM

You want to have a toy and another toy, and that's not maturity. The biggest things in life are ...
CARLOS SLIM

You cannot make thousands of universities or hundreds of thousands of professors, but with technolog...
CARLOS SLIM

You should have more time for you during all of your life - not when you're 65 and retired.
CARLOS SLIM

It's important to give a better country to your children, but it is more important to give bette...
CARLOS SLIM

The biggest things in life are not materials.
CARLOS SLIM

The best part of touring, still, is touching people's hearts and igniting my band and igniting t...
CARLOS SANTANA

You can take things that Jimi Hendrix took, from Curtis Mayfield or from Buddy Guy for example, beca...
CARLOS SANTANA

First of all, the music that people call Latin or Spanish is really African. So Black people need to...
CARLOS SANTANA

Stay in your heart.
CARLOS SANTANA

I realized that it's all really one, that John Lennon was correct. We utilize the music to bring...
CARLOS SANTANA

I knuckle down with my demons, and with my weaknesses.
CARLOS SANTANA

The Devil is like a strainer that separates the mud from the gold.
CARLOS SANTANA

I'm laughing because I know the secret of life. And the secret of life is that I have validated ...
CARLOS SANTANA

My job in this life is to give people spiritual ecstasy through music. In my concerts people cry, la...
CARLOS SANTANA

There is no person that love cannot heal; there is no soul that love cannot save.
CARLOS SANTANA

When a baby comes you can smell two things: the smell of flesh, which smells like chicken soup, and ...
CARLOS SANTANA

My dad's a beautiful man, but like a lot of Mexican men, or men in general, a lot of men have a ...
CARLOS SANTANA

Some songs are just like tattoos for your brain... you hear them and they're affixed to you.
CARLOS SANTANA

The most valuable possession you can own is an open heart. The most powerful weapon you can be is an...
CARLOS SANTANA

Every day you wake up is an opportunity to go beyond, and that 's why I let my band go right now...
CARLOS SANTANA

I realised a long time ago that instrumental music speaks a lot more clearly than English, Spanish, ...
CARLOS SANTANA

Your wrinkles either show that you're nasty, cranky, and senile, or that you're always smili...
CARLOS SANTANA

Just as we have two eyes and two feet, duality is part of life.
CARLOS SANTANA

There's a melody in everything. And once you find the melody, then you connect immediately with ...
CARLOS SANTANA

I take my kids to school... I make them breakfast. Unfortunately, dad is a big spoiler, and most day...
CARLOS PONCE

Coming in and out of Hollywood for pilot season, I may have to thicken my accent or hear that, physi...
CARLOS PONCE

I think my favorite thing is songwriting.
CARLOS PONCE

I would love to continue working on animated films. Yeah, those are my ambitions. No doubt.
CARLOS PONCE

I'd say it's even harder to cater to Hispanics than to the lesbian or gay community. We'...
CARLOS PONCE

I can't live without a sense of humor. I need to be laughing and entertained at all times.
CARLOS PONCE

I have reached a limit in my work.
CARLOS MESA

I will not be able to rule without you. You and I have the same responsibility. I do, as Bolivia'...
CARLOS MESA

My government has the challenge of addressing the issue of gas. The issue of gas cannot be addressed...
CARLOS MESA

I'm not going to run away from my responsibilities.
CARLOS MESA

I want Bolivians to support their president.
CARLOS MESA

We must create a state that responds to the citizens' needs, and we need citizens who feel commi...
CARLOS MESA

Bolivia is not yet a country of equals.
CARLOS MESA

The cost of pension reforms has been perhaps the biggest error committed in the process of modernizi...
CARLOS MESA

Direct access to sea is an essential part of foreign policy.
CARLOS MESA

There are always lessons that can be learned from another manufacturer. You can learn from their suc...
CARLOS GHOSN

Synergies are not only about cost reduction. Synergies can be access to markets, exchange of product...
CARLOS GHOSN

In most companies people make a specific contribution to the company in their function. But it is no...
CARLOS GHOSN

I think we're going to have some difficulty in front of us. I have absolutely no doubt the next ...
CARLOS GHOSN

Good is somebody who delivered and allowed the company to overcome obstacles, without leaving a prof...
CARLOS GHOSN

More and more, in any company, managers are dealing with different cultures. Companies are going glo...
CARLOS GHOSN

Don't believe what I say. Believe what I do.
CARLOS GHOSN

Profit is the most global aspect of a business, and it is cross-functional.
CARLOS GHOSN

When you're CEO, you have to have two conditions: first, shareholders need to trust you and want...
CARLOS GHOSN

I mean, when you're a pioneer and you are at the forefront of an offensive, you're going to ...
CARLOS GHOSN

Every single time you make a merger, somebody is losing his identity. And saying something different...
CARLOS GHOSN

Commitment. This is my favorite word because in some way, people who are committed are always much m...
CARLOS GHOSN

You have to listen to the people who have a negative opinion as well as those who have positive opin...
CARLOS GHOSN

If you have not been a villain at a certain point in time, you will never be a hero. And the day you...
CARLOS GHOSN

Incentives are not strategy, they are tactics. Defensive measures.
CARLOS GHOSN

Electric cars are going to be very important for urban transportation.
CARLOS GHOSN

The role of leadership is to transform the complex situation into small pieces and prioritize them.
CARLOS GHOSN

I would say a good leader brings results. A great leader writes a new story, it's different. Obv...
CARLOS GHOSN

Electric cars are not going to take the market by storm, but it's going to be a gradual improvem...
CARLOS GHOSN

You don't build your character by doing what everybody else is doing.
CARLOS GHOSN

My system for staying young is to work a lot, to always have a project on the go.
CARLOS FUENTES

I use a lot of film images, analogies, and imagination.
CARLOS FUENTES

One puts off the biography like you put off death. To write an autobiography is to etch the words on...
CARLOS FUENTES

I don't think any good book is based on factual experience. Bad books are about things the write...
CARLOS FUENTES

Perfect order is the forerunner of perfect horror.
CARLOS FUENTES

Contrary to the macho culture of Mexico, both my grandmothers were very brave young widows. I was al...
CARLOS FUENTES

I have two children who died before reaching 30, so who am I to complain about being alive?
CARLOS FUENTES

I believe in books that do not go to a ready-made public. I'm looking for readers I would like t...
CARLOS FUENTES

I am a morning writer; I am writing at eight-thirty in longhand and I keep at it until twelve-thirty...
CARLOS FUENTES

The historical problem of the United States is to admit that it is a multiracial and multi-ethnic na...
CARLOS FUENTES

What's happened at the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq is one of the grossest violations of human righ...
CARLOS FUENTES

You have an absolute freedom in Mexican writing today in which you don't necessarily have to dea...
CARLOS FUENTES

I love having critics for breakfast.
CARLOS FUENTES

The United States condoned dictatorships in Latin America for much of the 20th century.
CARLOS FUENTES

The possibility of being as free with the camera as we are with the pen is a fantastic prospect for ...
CARLOS FUENTES

I am not interested in slice of life, what I want is a slice of the imagination.
CARLOS FUENTES

Diplomacy in a sense is the opposite of writing. You have to disperse yourself so much: the lady who...
CARLOS FUENTES

Under the veneer of Westernization, the cultures of the Indian world - which have existed for 30,000...
CARLOS FUENTES

The new world economic order is not an exercise in philanthropy, but in enlightened self-interest fo...
CARLOS FUENTES

Literature overtakes history, for literature gives you more than one life. It expands experience and...
CARLOS FUENTES

What I want is to respond to the challenge posed by the mass media - to permit the novel to say what...
CARLOS FUENTES

The United States has written the white history of the United States. It now needs to write the blac...
CARLOS FUENTES

I had the good fortune of having a happy, closely knit family.
CARLOS FUENTES

To compare Tensegrity with yoga or t'ai chi is not possible. It has a different origin and a dif...
CARLOS CASTANEDA

Leave Jesus on the cross. He's very happy there!
CARLOS CASTANEDA

The only thing that is real is the being in you that is going to die.
CARLOS CASTANEDA

A man of knowledge chooses a path with a heart and follows it and then he looks and rejoices and lau...
CARLOS CASTANEDA

We have to balance the lineality of the known universe with the nonlineality of the unknown universe...
CARLOS CASTANEDA

The things shamans deal with are extremely practical. They break down parameters of normal historica...
CARLOS CASTANEDA

We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.
CARLOS CASTANEDA

Look at every path closely and deliberately, then ask ourselves this crucial question: Does this pat...
CARLOS CASTANEDA

In a way, the popularity of Corona came too fast for its own good, initially. We took a few steps ba...
CARLOS ALVAREZ

Corona Light has had very faithful stewardship from us from the very beginning in 1989.
CARLOS ALVAREZ

In a family business, you grow up with close contact to the business, whatever it is, and the beer b...
CARLOS ALVAREZ

If DreamWorks and Disney need that name to sell the cartoon and get people in the seats, that's ...
CARLOS ALAZRAQUI

I used to be kind of bitter and jealous as well, but I get it. It's business.
CARLOS ALAZRAQUI

I started doing stand-up in college.
CARLOS ALAZRAQUI

Videogames are a little more work and they're a little more stilted.
CARLOS ALAZRAQUI

Movies, obviously, are a little more lucrative. The initial paycheck is better.
CARLOS ALAZRAQUI

For the third season, we do a sit around on one episode where we were in character and then we comme...
CARLOS ALAZRAQUI

We got to go to Lucas Ranch and, at that time, my brother was still living in a condo about a mile f...
CARLOS ALAZRAQUI

I started out with comedy in college, but had my major in Recreation Administration - which meant I ...
CARLOS ALAZRAQUI

All of us, whether or not we are warriors, have a cubic centimeter of chance that pops out in front ...
CARLOS CASTAñEDA

In the midst of combat, we learned a great deal about mankind and its many different races, creeds a...
CARLOS WALLACE

By its very nature, the novel indicates that we are becoming. There is no final solution. There is n...
CARLOS FUENTES

Ultimately, it’s about determining what matters most to you; what’s important; what it will take...
CARLOS WALLACE

To achieve the mood of a warrior is not a simple matter. It is a revolution. To regard the lion and ...
CARLOS CASTANEDA

One day there will be no borders, no boundaries, no flags and no countries and the only passport wil...
CARLOS SANTANA

Forget the self and you will fear nothing, in whatever level or awareness you find yourself to be.
CARLOS CASTAñEDA

No person is important enough to make me angry.
CARLOS CASTANEDA

What the United States does best is to understand itself. What it does worst is understand others.
CARLOS FUENTES

A man of knowledge lives by acting, not by thinking about acting.
CARLOS CASTANEDA

Look at every path closely and deliberately, then ask ourselves this crucial question: Does this pat...
CARLOS CASTANEDA

All paths are the same, leading nowhere. Therefore, pick a path with heart!
CARLOS CASTANEDA

I don't think any good book is based on factual experience. Bad books are about things the writer al...
CARLOS FUENTES

I wanted to convince you that you must learn to make every act count, since you are going to be here...
CARLOS CASTANEDA

Peace has never come from dropping bombs. Real peace comes from enlightenment and educating people t...
CARLOS SANTANA

I love baseball. And American Football, too. But not rugby.
CARLOS SLIM

Talking about stepping down in five years is frankly not a topic of particular actuality now.
CARLOS GHOSN

To achieve the mood of a warrior is not a simple matter. It is a revolution. To regard the lion and ...
CARLOS CASTANEDA

The time is right for electric cars - in fact the time is critical.
CARLOS GHOSN

Any job very well done that has been carried out by a person who is fully dedicated is always a sour...
CARLOS GHOSN

No one's better than me. I'm not better than anyone. Whether it's Eric Clapton or BB Kin...
CARLOS SANTANA

There are few things that weigh on a person’s ability to grow and thrive more than insecurity. One...
CARLOS WALLACE

People spend money they don’t have on clothes and accessories they don’t need to fill a void. No...
CARLOS WALLACE

Insecurity is a powerful enemy. It forces people to use make-up, plastic surgery, collagen injection...
CARLOS WALLACE

Happiness will never flourish in a life bereft of optimism.
CARLOS WALLACE

We are not making a capital investment into GM as the first element or condition.
CARLOS GHOSN

I grew up in the sixties watching B.B. King and Tito Puente and Miles Davis and Coltrane, everybody,...
CARLOS SANTANA

True beauty comes from the inside out. We have to work on our mental, emotional, spiritual and physi...
CARLOS WALLACE

The Corona Extra brand was launched in Austin, Texas. From Austin, where it was exclusively for thre...
CARLOS ALVAREZ

Profitability is coming from productivity, efficiency, management, austerity, and the way to manage ...
CARLOS SLIM

Your mind is a magnet. You don't attract what you need or what you want; you attract who you are...
CARLOS SANTANA

Employees are your most valuable assets. They are the heart and guts of a company. This doesn't ...
CARLOS GHOSN

You go to a plant not only to pat the people on the back, but to tell them about the opportunities t...
CARLOS GHOSN

Being in a multicultural environment in childhood is going to give you intuition, reflexes and insti...
CARLOS GHOSN

Everybody sooner or later has to drop the luggage and the baggage of illusions.
CARLOS SANTANA

There must be something beyond slaughter and barbarism to support the existence of mankind and we mu...
CARLOS FUENTES

Like all of Latin America, Mexico after independence in 1821 turned its back on a triple heritage: o...
CARLOS FUENTES

Most people don't have that willingness to break bad habits. They have a lot of excuses and they...
CARLOS SANTANA

Cars have a large engine in the front and you have a gearbox, which is cumbersome. Electric cars don...
CARLOS GHOSN

Ever since I was a child I've always been very attracted to melodies. Whether I hear Jeff Beck, ...
CARLOS SANTANA

Low interest rates are a big opportunity for investment. But the issue is that this money should go ...
CARLOS SLIM

If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment.
CARLOS SANTANA

Sharing pillow talk with the wrong people can make a hard bed to lie on, and will surely lead to nig...
CARLOS WALLACE

Cuz even a gangsta rapper can find redemption
For the sins committed before revelation.
CARLOS SALINAS

I know one thing for sho Heaven’s gotta have a ghetto
Cuz where else in death do I get to go?
CARLOS SALINAS

Some men are born to be good some born to be bad
As for me I only came with just a pen ‘n’ ...
CARLOS SALINAS

No one can identify the uninformed until they voice their ignorance about a topic. Silence is a fool...
CARLOS WALLACE

For so-called conscious rappers, it is an opportunity to rap about ways to educate others about Afri...
CARLOS WALLACE

When you sever ties with the unit purely for self-serving intentions, you are likely to find yoursel...
CARLOS WALLACE

Loving someone is a full time commitment. Use that time wisely. Cherish the high points and fight ha...
CARLOS WALLACE

I explained my situation in 2002, when I was in Triple-A and [Kyle] Farnsworth got injured on the fo...
CARLOS ZAMBRANO

My crazy times are over. That's when I was a rookie. I've got seven years in the big leagues. I thin...
CARLOS ZAMBRANO

Sometimes I get lucky and hit some pitches, ... I don't try to hit the ball like [Todd] Walker does,...
CARLOS ZAMBRANO

That was fun. I wasn't playing like we were trying to win the world championship or the World Cup .....
CARLOS ZAMBRANO

Years before you scream at somebody or embarrass one of your teammates without even thinking about i...
CARLOS ZAMBRANO

I tried to throw a fastball inside, and the ball kind of slipped out of my hand where I didn't want ...
CARLOS ZAMBRANO

That's amazing. That proves that Venezuela has a lot of players good enough to be in the Major Leagu...
CARLOS ZAMBRANO

It's not how you start, it's how you finish. We have to move on. I have 30 more starts. This doesn't...
CARLOS ZAMBRANO

Hopefully, it's nothing and he'll be ready for the season. I wish him luck and hope he gets healthy.
CARLOS ZAMBRANO

I've been working hard on strength and conditioning. When you do a good job and take care of your bo...
CARLOS ZAMBRANO

When all is said and done, his standing among progressives is only going to increase, and he'll be a...
CARLOS WATSON

Carlos Mencia

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