You know those pills like Viagra, well they say that if you have an erection for more than 36 hours consult your physician. Well, if you don't know what to do with your boner after 36 hours then you are a DE and your wife doesn't know what to do then she's a DA. You two shouldn't reproduce because then your kid's gonna be like DEDADE.

Carlos Mencia

Related Quotes

In all honesty, we don't know what's in the hearts of other men. All I know is that I respect comedy and I know comedy. I would never, ever, ever take somebody else's joke.

— Carlos Mencia

I don't have the time to steal other people's material even if I wanted to, ... The reason why these rumors got started is that I don't really contest them because I don't believe they deserve contesting. I really don't.

— Carlos Mencia

If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.

— Carlos Mencia

You want to know the joke he thinks is stolen from him? It's a Taco Bell joke,

— Carlos Mencia

You're Hispanic. You speak Spanish. You're doing ethnic jokes. Taco Bell is one of your first targets.

— Carlos Mencia