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You know you're getting old when you go to more funerals than you do weddings.


Jimmy Dean

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HARRY YOU You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
BOB HOPE You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could ...
GEORGE BURNS You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
BOB HOPE If you want to avoid weddings then attend funerals.
VIKRANT PARSAI Little drops of rain Whisper of the pain Tears of love Lost in the days gone by.
ROBERT PLANT "THANK YOU" You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
BOB HOPE You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
BOB HOPE You know you're getting old when all the names in your black book have M. D. after them.
HARRISON FORD When you're getting old, obviously you try to put on the best cream, you have massages, you try ...
CARINE ROITFELD You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if...
JERRY SEINFELD You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake...
ANONYMOUS You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoo...
PHYLLIS DILLER By the time you know what to do, you're too old to do it.
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ROBIN QUIVERS You're able to do more when you're not clouded with wasted anxiety.
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BRENDON URIE You know you're getting old when you stop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while yo...
GEORGE BURNS You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do w...
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RICKY MARTIN You know you are getting old when you wake up with a hangover and don't drink.
KRIS HUEN You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.
PHYLLIS DILLER When you're old-fashioned like I am, you know marriage is forever. Those vows are a promise.
BRAD PAISLEY It's like a prehistoric reflex, you know, going out and getting the meat and bringing it back to...
FRED WARD When you're poor, you don't want anyone to know you're poor.
ADAM RAPP When you're in a movie, they treat you like you're four years old and give you whatever you ...
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DAVID BELLE I hate it when people tell you you're good when you know that you're not.
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BILL PARCELLS You know you're getting old when the kids you ref when they were younger become coaches,
SALLUST There's nothing more powerful than to consider why you're running, no matter what pain you&#...
ELOISE WELLINGS Weddings are really good for making you feel terrible about yourself if you're not where you wan...
WENDI MCLENDON-COVEY When you start a scene, and you don't really know where you're going to go, that's a rol...
MARION COTILLARD I think that you can get more passionate about somebody the longer you're with them and the more...
EMILY MORTIMER When you're a kid that's all you want to do, go out and play football.
ALAN SMITH You never know what your parents are going to say when you tell them you're getting married - es...
CHAD KROEGER When you're going through tough moments, you never know when you're going to have good momen...
MARIA SHARAPOVA You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
PHYLLIS DILLER If you're not getting better, you're getting worse.
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THOMAS MARSHBURN The great thing about getting older is that you become more mellow. Things aren't as black and w...
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SIDNEY CROSBY You know more than you think you do.
BENJAMIN SPOCK If you're a writer, you know that the stories don't come to you - you have to go looking for...
TOM WAITS It's more than a job. It's very personal, so when you're hurt, you're really hurt in...
CHARLOTTE GAINSBOURG If you're going to do Chuck Berry, you got to, you know, go all out, and the duck walk is just k...
MOS DEF When you get a typical injury, you're given a time frame; you're gradually working towards g...
SIDNEY CROSBY Sometimes when you're with the same old people, you get the same old thing.
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EVA LONGORIA I find old women at weddings and funerals attractive; I have this weird mortality thing.
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JIMMY KIMMEL I don't eat two days a week. And people are fascinated by it, but it works. If you cut two days ...
JIMMY KIMMEL You try to do the best with what you've got and ignore everything else. That's why horses ge...
JIMMY IOVINE If you want to talk to me, you'll have to put out that cigarette.
JIMMY PIERSALL I like words. I like the way they clash around together and bang up against each other, especially i...
JIMMY WEBB People in the Hall of Fame tend to clap their hands and say, 'OK, I've done it all,' but...
JIMMY CLIFF I get on so well with lots of Scots, and a man who had a big influence on my career and was a great ...
JIMMY HILL I grew up twelve miles outside of Montego Bay. In my early teens, I went to Kingston. It was like a ...
JIMMY CLIFF There's no doubt that the Christian right has gone to bed with the more conservative elements of...
JIMMY CARTER When I see professional clowns, mimes, or people who makes ballon animals, I think of their relative...
JIMMY FALLON I have sinned against You, my Lord, and I would ask that your precious blood would wash and cleanse ...
JIMMY SWAGGART Christian values were important at home. Cleanliness. Don't steal. Don't lie. Those were the...
JIMMY CLIFF So many diseases and illnesses have fundamental roots in the lack of clean water. Resolving the clea...
JIMMY CHIN On climbs, there is a general way we manage fear. We look at things objectively, separating out perc...
JIMMY CHIN